No, It’s Actually Even Funnier Than That
Okay, so the vote counting in Arizona continues. They might have some results by Christmas but I wouldn’t count on it.
Apparently, it’s not going well for the QKids. The first thing I want to say is that I have been to AARP meetings with twice the energy and a much spiffier dress code. These are people who don’t need to be buying any green bananas. Hell, Honey, most of them have 20 years on me and I don’t remember why I walked into a room, much less what I was looking for. Did you ever go looking for coffee and come back with a donut, a comb, and a map of Illinois that you thought was lost? That’s this group.
And the second reason I know they aren’t finding all the “illegal” votes is that they have started something new. They are scanning the ballots with UV lights. Nobody knows why and the culprits aren’t saying. Some surmise they are looking for a watermark on the ballots. The printer of the ballot says there are none because he didn’t put any on it. Plus, they’ve been counting for a while now and they just started this.
But, there’s closely held little secret that the QKids are leaking.
The Maricopa County vote recount has taken a surprising turn, with UV lights and high-tech cameras being deployed as workers comb through ballots, checking for traces of bamboo fibers in the paper.
The reason? To investigate a new theory that 40,000 ballots for Joe Biden were flown in from Asia and smuggled into Arizona’s polls.
Slate has more for the terminally curious. And those who think bamboo is only in China is welcome to come hack their way through Thelma’s backyard where her lovely bamboo fence now covers the entire backyard.
Bamboo ballots. This is getting fun.
“These are people who don’t need to be buying any green bananas.”
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
1OMG, I almost peed myself I was laughing so hard!
obvious photoshop. This is Arizona. Why are they wearing masks indoors?
2Does the local mental health facility know they’re missing?
3Last night, Rachel played audio of a guy who was trying to explain what their latest theory is:
He said they were investigating if ballots had been flown in from the “Southeast Area.” When pressed he agreed that he meant “China. Or Asia.”
Oh. Well that clears that right up then.
4Maybe.
Perhaps.
Or not.
Wouldn’t you hate to be in Arizona right now? The silver alerts on your phone would be buzzing every 30 seconds. Of course, those same pictures could be said to be taken here of old English teachers grading the STAAR test. It’s always good when you can repurpose an old picture.
5I’m thinking that the idea of weighing the ballots is a reversion to the days when they were smuggling cocaine and weighing money.
The depositions are going to be a hoot.
6Amateurs … Everyone familiar with Asian subterfuge knows bamboo fibers are not probative without the presence of silk, or sweet-n-sour sauce.
Why?
It’s Asia, that’s why.
ROFLMAO.
7Everyone wearing their masks and paper hats?
An ‘out of control’ Chinese rocket will crash back to Earth this weekend. No one knows where it will land
Updated 6:58 AM; Today 6:32 AM
https://www.oregonlive.com/nation/2021/05/an-out-of-control-chinese-rocket-will-crash-back-to-earth-this-weekend-no-one-knows-where-it-will-land.html
8Bamboo in the paper? Somebody bring in the pandas! They may sniff out the suspect paper – – and get plenty of airtime on Fox News as they meander around Arizona Veterans Memorial Coliseum.
9Who let these old farts anywhere near real ballots? When are the real custodians of our ballots going to come get the real ballots and let these folks go back to their heating pads?
Stop this idiocy
10What will save them and us is that the facility has actual paying events booked and the vote counters will be ejected. They can go home, swear they were just about onto something, but were stopped by the Biden government!
11Those Q “ballot inspectors” are probably worried that China has aimed for Arizona and is going to bomb them with that rocket. Anything to keep Joe Biden in office, doncha know?
12I am embarrassed for these people and
13would feel sorry for them if I didn’t know they were dangerous lunatics
And the chain of custody has been broken, so any results are meaningless.
There is a limit to the speed of light, but not to Q stupidity.
14Iceberg!!! Dead Ahead… Count the deck chairs!
*************************************
HEADLINE: Republicans want to expand the Arizona audit — but DOJ may shut it down.
EDIT: Arizona’s Republican-led Senate is looking to expand its post-election audit of 2.1 million ballots in the state’s most populous county, while Arizona’s Democratic secretary of state and the U.S. Department of Justice appeared headed to federal court to shut down the post-election exercise.
https://www.alternet.org/2021/05/arizona-audit-update/
15My daughter gave me paper towels last month that were made from bamboo.
16Should I be concerned???
Who let these old farts take custody of actual ballots? How long is this farce going to go on?
17The Justice Department on Wednesday issued a warning in the Republican-run Arizona Senate-ordered audit of the 2020 election ballots, saying the audit could be in violation of federal voting and civil rights laws.
https://www.cnn.com/2021/05/06/politics/arizona-election-audit-doj/index.html
18These idiots need to be tested to see what they’re on that causes these delusions.
19If they’re not on anything then they need to be on something that stops these delusions.
There’s bamboo fiber in a lot of mattresses now, and my coffee filters are 60% bamboo fiber. They don’t taste like paper and don’t need to be rinsed. I’m not worried in the least.
20Liars have to keep lying to cover up their lies. The Big Lie requires even bigger lies, thus the UV lights and phantom ballots from China. And that’s what’s going on in AZ. It’s the story of the repugnantican party. That’s all they have. Pitiful
21How much is this costing the taxpayers?
22Curiously, the AZ Fraudit set up in an area with a deadline. The facility was already booked for high school graduations. So, at the very least, EVERYTHING will need to be moved — with all the possibilities for security breaches of multiple groups of high schoolers and their families and friends in the facility.
“so far, about 200,000 votes have been counted — less than 10 percent of the total. He said audit officials are exploring ways to box up material needed for the recount and then return to the Coliseum later to finish the process. “
23“Auditors are now using UV light to scan across all ballots. POTUS told us the 2020 election would be stolen via fake printed ballots. We were right about specially marker ballots all along, the media and left called us all crazy, but we knew,” says a post widely shared on Facebook. “The Maricopa audit is confirming the rumors, that real ballots have a special watermark. No wonder the Democrats tried to stall… NCSWIC.”
Just in case you didn’t go to JJ’s special link above. Calling these people delusional would be charitable.
24Wouldn’t it be great if we found out that the reason the Qsquad chose that particular venue because some enterprising sales/booking rep found out they were gonna do it anyway, had a block of time to sell, and convinced the morons that the roof of the coliseum protected everyone inside from Jewish space lasers?
25I hear Four Seasons Total Landscaping has a parking lot available.
Seriously, I’d like to see this presented to a grand jury.
26Well, now! When I heard that this re-count of the previous recounts was taking place im Arizona all I could think of was all the retirement communities in that state. The GOP must have been thinking that all those senior citizens needed a To Do List to keep their minds supple. As for bamboo, it grows like dandelions in Virginia. It is considered a noxious weed. From what little scrambled info I can get from the long-timers around here, bamboo was originally planted in wet areas to soak up all that extra water that wold only pond and invite mosquitos. For while, it was even used to make decorative fencing. Other than feeding the pandas in the National Zoo, it had absolutely no other use, but Lordy, how it spread. It was absolutely demonic. As for pulping it into paper, there are easier, better and cheaper ways of making paper which is why the folks iin Arizona aren’t going to find what they are looking for.
Now for mu morning rant. South Carolina is going to keep all stimulus checks from the unemployed in that state. Apparently the South Carolina government has never heard of the French Revolution, the Bastille, and the guillotine. When the poor people in long ago France figured out that it was the top 1% – many of whom were in the “government” simply due to their titles – that were keeping them in starvation, well, one woman got out a drum and started a whole lot of revolution. You gotta wonder if the South Carolinians would care a hot damn about the poor even if they DID read history.
27You must have missed the story about the DoJ taking an interest in these guys. They were actually planning on calling voters to verify the ballots and that runs afoul of provisions in what remains of the VRA.
In short these people have absolutely no idea of what they are doing. Most of them are just following someone they trust because they are unhappy that Trump lost and fueled by the delusion that they are being good citizens.
They are just the gentler version of the 1/6 insurrectionists who were equally clueless and delusional.
28Funny thing though. The Chinese have been making paper from bamboo for about 1500 years. While there are technical reasons why wood is still the choice for most pulp stock, research to promote greater usage of bamboo is a hot topic.
29Well, it keeps them off the streets.
30pluky @ 29
You can make anything out of bamboo that you can make out of wood. Cellulose is cellulose. When I lived in Hawaii, people made all sorts of unlikely things out of it.
The funniest (though not a Hawaii product) was a bamboo case for a green computer.
I doubt even an analytical chemist could detect bamboo in paper unless the paper was made in small batches in kettles in the backyard. These yokels have never seen a Fourdrinier machine.
31WA Skeptic, I have bamboo fiber socks. I bit too think and girly for my taste though.
And one of the apts we lived in here in eastern CT had a thicket of bamboo between us and the neighbors. Considering that the previous owner was a pig, and his tenant put bicycle parts in the toilet when forced to move out, I suspect it was the neighbors who planted the bamboo forest.
32In the early twentieth century Chinese men wore a long braid called a bian, or queue. Don’t you see? Q! It’s a message, people. China has already taken over. Q the vote! This goes all the way to the top. Of the head. Panda paper is the least of it!
How many pills tonight, nurse?
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