No
Okay, so here’s what you do. Get a sticky note. Write Greg Abbott’s name on it with a big No. Stick it on the inside of the cabinet where you keep the coffee mugs. Look at it everydamnday so you will not forget to never, ever vote for this guy unless you’re on the jury and guilty is an option.
Like this.
I’m telling you to do this because it’s important.
It appears that maybe Greg Abbott has announced his intention to run for president. Maybe. It’s hard to tell.
These papers were filed with the FEC on April 1 which is kinda like throwing a wrench into a dumpster fire during a tornado.
Here’s, in part what was filed. You can see the whole thing right here.
So Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen found this and sent it to me on an express jet with a tail wind. What the dickens is this? It says it is the principle campaign committee. But is it?
The treasurer and custodian of record is a person by the name of John Grayson Dyer. Dyer is not a registered voter in the State of Texas and an internet machine trace of his name turned up a couple of ghosts. So, the address of this Dyer guy returns to an Arby’s in Grand Prairie as does the phone number. For you people from foreign states, Grand Prairie is smack dab in the middle between Dallas and Fort Worth, where you could not pay me a billion dollars to live because you’ve got the worst weather in Texas and Fort Worth touches you like your gross brother in the backseat of your mom’s sedan.
Anyway, back to the papers. Based on what I’ve told you so far, I’d bet five dollars cash American money that this is joke.
However. If you look at #1 at the top of the form …
That’s the real address of the Greg Abbott political campaign.
Seriously. Right here. Scroll to the bottom.
Now, here’s my thought. The fellas at the FEC do not have a sense of humor. In fact, they are required to have a humorectomy to get promoted. And lately they’ve taken a pretty good effort to discourage fake filings – including very hurtful fines.
But, anyway, please let this be a red flag for you. There’s a thousand reasons to never vote for Greg Abbott and the fact that a seasoned hairdresser like me can’t tell if this is a joke or not ought to be 1,001. He’s kinda that paranoid and crazy.
Filed on April 1. I’d say that’s a pretty durn good indication that it’s a joke.
Fingers crossed.
1Lordy. Abutt is wearing the Dubya “who me” dopey expression. fwiw Greg, that btw is NOT a good look.
2My dream for Abbott is to leave office and have to earn his daily bread as an ambulance chaser lawyer – you know the kind with ads on late night TV where they yell and scream, yet the judge laughs at them in the court room.
3It sounds like opening your electric bill in Texas. Is this for real? Because maybe it’s $75, maybe it’s $3000. Because if it’s $3000, it sounds like a bad joke.
4It would be fun to see Trump vs Abbott. Hopefully it would destroy Abbott’s ability to ever win an election ever again, for any office.
5Could the N.Y. judge require Trump to stay in N.Y. as a condition of his being released on bail because of flight risk as DeSantis has said that Fla. would not extradite Trump.
6Abutthead in the White House? That would be different, not.
7Nothing would surprise me anymore. And then Ken Paxton as AG? Even if it wasn’t meant to be an April Fools joke, it is.