Next Stop: Perdition.
By Primo Encarnación
It is a well-known fact that I am going to hell. For many, MANY reasons, too numerous, salacious, embarrassing or obvious to mention, I’ve been headed there from an early age. Once, when I was in really big trouble with my mom, my cousin, Jesus Hachecristo, convinced me that “step on a crack” was a real thing, so I stomped on every one I could find between his house and mine. By the time I got home, I had lost count (Chicago concrete contractors – go figure!) but I was certain she’d be flopping in spine-crushed agony on the floor. Much to my chagrin (and a little to my relief) she was hale, hearty and armed with a switch.
For willfully attempting to paralyze my mother, I’m going to hell. Let’s face it, God, unlike mom, does not mess around with instant karma. He bides his time, he gives you enough rope, and when the time comes…WHAM! You sin, you pay! Or, not?
Enter Michele Bachmann, erstwhile Congresswoman. Her concept of God’s justice is also transactional, but in her version, God doesn’t care much about collateral damage, nor relative degrees of guilt. The right wing nut job God doesn’t blanch at wiping out the entire world in a flood on general principle. He doesn’t scruple at killing a few children in order to wipe out Sodomites and Gomorreans. Just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, associated with the wrong people, God will mess you UP!
Case in point: global warming, droughts, floods, famine, snow, hail, cyclones, sleet, deep cold, unremitting sun and all manner of meteorological disasters are going to hit ALL of us, plus we will lose all our money all due to a single cause: Obama!
(Everyone who saw that coming, raise your hands.)
It is a well-known fact that I’m going to hell, but now that Michele Bachmann has opened my eyes to the true theology of retribution, I’m happy to know that I’m taking you all there with me.
But I still get the front seat on the express train down!
Hell is like Texas. All that is needed is more water and a better class of people. Hellis also segregated. Wingnuts need not apply. They have automatic selection and sit in the back of the bus or, in Hell’s case. at the very bottom closest to the fires.
1Seems to me I recall Jesus condemned self righteousness more than any other sin, but greed was right up near the top with it. I’m leaving Michelle and her ilk to God’s wrath. Our wrath, on the other hand, has lots of energy in it. Let’s direct it.
2I just looked at Michelle’s speech. Aaargh. She might also include evils like the Kochs sowing the wind and us reaping the whirlwind. Sorry, I forgot, supposed to be leaving that to God. I cannot abide what is going on with the Kochs and their friends. You know, looking back, we know that the Germans would have done differently if they’d known what Hitler was like. I wish we could hop ahead a dozen or so years and look back where we are now and what the results of the policies being developed will be. Good fiction: THE DARK ROOM, 3 novellas.
3I maintain a short list of names, a better dead list, just in case I am ever diagnosed conclusively with pancreatic cancer. Bachmann is not on that list. But that could change any time.
4Micr, in my little world that’s the “needed to be killed” list. Dick Cheney is permanently no 1 until he shuffles off to the nth ring of Hell. The next places move around a lot, but lil Rafael Cruz appears regularly. And Tom Delay. Sometimes Phyllis Schlafly, sometimes Louie G. Sometimes Tim Cardinal Dolan…frequently Dan Patrick, whose appearances are on the increase…
5I won’t be gunning for Darth Dickey. I saw the light? No, I saw how long the line was. I hate long lines. Thus, my top six picks would be John Roberts, Paul Ryan, Charles and David Koch, Shelly Adelson, and John Boener. If I can get a twofer on Chuck and Davy, add Jamie Dimon to my “B” list.
“I had a dream. In it all banana peels were spot on and no innocents were hurt creating the dream.”
Heard Karma was quite the lady, but she hasn’t directed any of her energy toward my list, yet.
6EPO, I call shotgun!
7If there is a hell I suppose i’d end up there since being liberal is apparently some big sin. I really seriously try to not hate anyone, even the old vets at my local American Legion, and this is somehow a show of weakness or something. Cooler and better people would likely end up in hell so why worry!
8Although there are some obituaries I will read with satisafaction some day, can we cease and desist with the wishing of the deaths? We’re better than that: we should shoot for a slightly higher circle of hell than the one the right wing nutjobs will be on. As Dante taught us, in Hell, as in real estate, it’s location location location.
“Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement.” – Gandalf the Grey
Plus, hello! Karma? Double Plus: my paychecks are signed by someone on one of those lists so…
9I believe the last time we had a major hurricane was in the Bush Administration.
Thanks Obama!
10“I did not attend the funeral, but I sent a note saying that I approved of it.” — Mark Twain
11…AND perennial favorite Phil Flippin Gramm, Dick C knocked him outta the top spot…
12PKM … At least the B list should include Mike Huckabee who deludes he can bring down the wrath of God, Rick Santorum, Tom Pencil Neck Cotton, and that twit in the Texas House who won’t talk to anyone but God. Old McCain is too far gone to understand punishment, Bill O’Reilly has already been there ahead of us and reported on it, and – believe it or not, maybe Todd Palin for not running over his wife when he had the chance.
13Linda Phipps, Mike Huckabee and the buybull bigots are on my “please make their wishes come true” list. Wouldn’t it be fun, if there were a God?
As for Santorum, God has already spoken to him. I love a god or goddess with irony and a sense of humor. And, nothing says love like God speaking to Little Ricky through the works of Dan Savage. Doing my part to assure that Dan’s definition remains at the top of search engines.
14When the people on my “list” cease to hold positions of influence and can no longer harm the old, the young, the poor, the weak, the unsuspecting, or the uneducated, then I will stop wishing they would be removed so that they can do no more harm. As is it, my wish is not particularly vengeful (they were when Cheney held high office!), but we can no longer stop any the wealthy and influential from bending things into pretzels to benefit themselves. Beause the FCC no longer has teeth, the Glass-Stegall act was gutted, and the high court has handed down horrific decisions like Citizens United, the bully pulpit is now only controlled by those who can purchase it; I’d like to see the most selfish and cynical ones removed in the hope that we might recover before it is too late-but it may already BE too late! I’ll just have to go to perdition with Primo, I guess. By the way PKM, I like your list too!
15Okay, Primo, but I call shotgun!
16@Marge Wood–Who is the author of THE DARK ROOM? Your comment about Germany and Hitler is insightful and very frightening with respect to the US today. It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
17I apologize to momma in advance, by how come you hear about people being sodomized but never gomorrized?
18We should dig Ronald Reagan up so we can put him on the list as well. And Mitch McConnell. There simply has to be room for Mitch McConnell on the list.
19Scott, it was probably a translation thing. Gohmerted sounded like goatherd, or Loopy Louie looked like a goat, something along those lines. Anyway, then Gohmert went on to become every known part of speech, including the expletive Holy Gohmerts! As for the goat, it lived on to become a part of right wing fantasies on Slippery Slope Mountain.
20W. C. (Pete) Peterson, Saint Rayguns is more likely to be conjured or evoked. Last I knew the RW nut jobs had yet to bury him. As for Mitch, didn’t he marry his punishment or threat of punishment? Do not mess with a cocaine dynasty.
21Scott: too much sodomy can lead to gomorrhea.
22…and a lobotomy leads to gohmertrhea…
23and if you can’t say something nice about somebody,say something rilly rotten about them.
24Why take the express train when you can ride the 新幹線. Going in style and comfort at twice the speed.
25There’s a Pagan curse: “May you get what you deserve RIGHT NOW!”
26Som where do the towers of babble on fit in? SoDumb and Gohmertrea?
27THE DARK ROOM is by Rachel Seifert. I did a lot of research on WWII and Reinhold Niebuhr a long time ago. After WWII was over and folks were talking about it, a German said that if anyone had told him what they would have done to the Jews, nobody would have believed it. I think of the courage of the Scandinavians at that time. I know both sides get upset about current politics and compare the other side to Hitler and the Nazis. I’m not saying that. I’m just saying I’m worried about the policies being developed all over the USA these days by the Koch front groups and the legislators elected by their money, and the potential long term effects of them. Today the Texas Lege. Senators voted in favor of closing what we used to call the State Schools and now they are called State Supported Living Centers. The residents of these centers are folks who have lived there most of their lives and likely cannot deal with living in a residential care facility but I believe that is the plan. That is a tiny bit of what is going on.
28Texas lege list: Donna Campbell, Troy Fraser, Richard Darby.
29Oops: forgot Dan Patrick.
30Thanks Marion. I get the creeps thinking of that bunch. Troy Fraser is the senator for Abilene. Why, I don’t know because he doesn’t live up there.
31Troy F. worked hard to keep the State School open. I’ll hush now.
32daChipster,
I agree about not really wishing death on these people…but I wish they could embrace public silence. I do feel that many of them are committing forms of atrocities and I would like to see their teeth pulled so they can no longer do so.
So I wish on them silence or impotence in office… since sending them light and harmony has not resulted in change of attitude. And may Gohmert especially be blessed with silence…eternal laryngitis maybe .
33I fantasize about a parallel universe where anyone who votes Republican has to live with the consequences, while us tree-huggin’, bleedin’ heart liberals are able to fight climate change and stricter EPA rules, equal rights and pay, enact fair immigration laws, reach a nuclear treaty with Iran, put the guts back in the Voting Rights Law, empower responsible laws on gun ownership, and, oh, so many more utopian dreams.
34Back to reality: Boner is on the top 10 list of reprobates in my book. Somebody, quick, wipe that fake orange tan off his mug.
maryelle, that’s a lovely fantasy!!
35maryelle, I call that “the Rapture”
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