New Year’s Resolution

January 17, 2023 By: Nick Carraway Category: Uncategorized

“I can be someone’s and still my own.” — Shel Silverstein

Those of you that know me know I’ve used that quote before. At a certain point, we get to an age where things get to us more easily. I read that story every year to teenagers when they prepare for Confirmation. I get choked up every time I read it. I know a lot of people that have new year’s resolutions at the ready on the first. It takes me awhile. All of this came into focus when I perused twitter and encountered yet another of those patented “I don’t understand how you could vote for…” and it occurred me that we are hearing this more and more often these days.

The obvious point is that it shuts down our collective discourse. It puts us into one side or another and determined that the other side is just a group of village idiots. So, my new year’s resolution is to raise my level of discourse. I will certainly still challenge individual members of the herd. It’s hard to avoid doing that these days, but I will do my red letter best to avoid transferring that to a whole ideology.

This brings me back to Silverstein. The line above obviously is directly related to the story it came from (“The Missing Piece”) but it is one of those rare lines that can stand on its own. As a writer I’m jealous. All of us want one of those lines at least once in our life. There was a time when I thought I could be a speech writer.

America is a unique place. It always has been. It combines the mythos of rugged individualism with a community feel where we do what we can to help each other get along. We can be someone else’s and be our own at the same time. So, our body politic must strike a balance between a collectivism the rest of the world embraces and an individualism that numerous tout. When we dial away party politics we get to a point where we each have our own personal take on where that balance rests. There used to be a day when Democrats and Republicans could set aside differences and meet in the middle of particular issues. I suppose it still happens under the rarest of circumstances. It is the ultimate difference between states people and performance artists.

Obviously, I’m just a teacher, so my thoughts and words have little to do with what actually happens in government. However, it can impact what happens in my little corner of the world. It can impact my personal relationships. It can impact the level of angst I feel on a daily basis or my level of optimism for the future.

I can be my own and someone else’s at the same time. I can manage my own happiness and practice a certain level of autonomy while allowing others to help me whenever I need assistance. I can be that helping hand to others when they need emotional or physical support. We can collectively be our own and each other’s at the same time. We can remember that our own personal belief of where we stand on that continuum does not define us as a human being. Our humanity must exist beyond that and so we cannot allow ourselves to get bogged down in the “I can’t understand how you can vote for….”

 

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0 Comments to “New Year’s Resolution”


  1. Crazy Quilter says:

    No,no,no. You are not JUST a teacher. Without teachers we would still be neolithic. We wouldn’t have figured out how to stack the logs to keep the fire burning at night. We wouldn’t know how to do anything.
    My daughter is a teacher , she served 27 years in elementary education, mostly as a fifth grade teacher, until the bureaucracy finally got to her. She retired and after a year was going crazy with boredom. So she started a blog and now she is teaching people all over the country how to sew.
    Maybe some people think sewing is stupid but I sure wouldn’t want to be without clothes and blankets.
    I read your contributions to JJ with interest. Sometimes I disagree, sometimes I don’t understand but I always read them. They teach me.
    So please, do not denigrate yourself by say you are ‘just’ anything.

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  2. Charles Dimmick says:

    Nick, I absolutely hate to be a nitpicker, but as a former editor I need to scratch the itch. You used the phrase “must tow the line between”. There are two problems here: 1. it is “toe the line”, and 2. one cannot “toe the line between”. I would suggest
    a quick review on your part to find a phrase that fits the context.

    Other than that, I fully agree with what you wrote.

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  3. I read yesterday that Alabama still celebrates Martin Luther King Jr AND Robert E Lee Day on the same day. As well as Confederate Memorial Day in April.

    Divided as we are as a nation, I can find some happiness that we don’t yet have a separate Donald J Trump President Day. I don’t know if that counts as meeting Republicans halfway, but maybe? If I don’t suggest to my GOP friends that Trump isn’t included as part of Presidents Day? A magnaminus gesture on my part?

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  4. “Obviously, I’m just a teacher…”

    There is no such thing as just a teacher.

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  5. Brian@2:34
    True, oh so very true . . . .

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  6. But….but, oh please, let us still have our sentence begin with that when speaking about some of the least sane members of the house and Senate. Especially when some of their most insane, disrespectful, deviousness comes to light. Jordan, Boebart, Greene, Gaetz, Trump……just to name a few.

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  7. Steve from Beaverton says:

    I’ve kind of had a similar resolution for a few years. It goes sideways as soon as I hear the congress critters try to soft shoe a fricking attempt to overthrow our government or try to sugarcoat a malignant narcissist (and worse). I’ve voted for over 5 decades and gone through a number of administrations and changes in congress that I did not like, but the last 6 years are different. I used to put politics aside when dealing with friends and coworkers that I know did not agree with my politics. I focused on our common interests, but it has become increasingly difficult. Cathy above named a few of the congress critters that set me off, but there are so many more. That doesn’t mean I don’t try to be/do better and be more understanding.
    Oh, and Nick, I so agree with what Brian said.

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  8. Jane & PKM says:

    Ditto Brian, Steve and everyone, Nick. Could have done some substitute teaching while working on my post graduate degrees after the USAF years. But. The school was desperate for a math teacher, so they threw a contract at me. Yeah. D’uh. Go for the hourly substitute rate knowing they’d be calling me daily or accept the contract with benefits and a salary. Quite honestly it was fun, and more surprisingly as this was only for two years the letters and notes of gratitude from former students and parents? You are filling a need, Nick. Your columns at the WMDBS are clear that you are doing that at the fullest capacity possible.

    Just a suggestion after a stressful day. Hit the school gym and shoot some hoops with the kids. Whether amused or amazed, they’ll love you for it.

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