Men and Their Hands on Their Winkies
I do not want to talk about this. I really don’t. It’s embarrassing, even for me.
Texas Congressvarmint (oh yes, Texas) Michael Burgess who represents Denton County north of Dallas, has very strong feelings about abortion. I do, too. My strong feelings are that Michael Burgess has no business telling me what I can and cannot do with my uterus.
Burgess has announced that he thinks legislation to ban abortions after 20 weeks of pregnancy is too liberal — he wants the line moved to 15 or 16 weeks. Do you want to know why?
“Watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they have movements that are purposeful. They stroke their face. If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs. If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to think that they could feel pain?”
This dude is an OB/GYN and he does not even know that a 15 week fetus doesn’t even have a developed central nervous system. Y’all, this guy sitting around intently watching sonograms for signs of fetal masturbation is sick. Somebody please get him a subscription to the Playboy channel before he totally creeps me out.
Okay, so it’s only male fetuses who touch their stuff? Females don’t do that? Dude, I’ve got some real bad news for you about your wife. That vibrator ain’t for her sore neck like she told you.
Now I have a question for all you parents out there. How many of your newborns had purposeful movements? Hell, mine weren’t all that bright but they zonked their baby rattles on their heads and flailed around like all get out.
No matter what this sick quack says, fetuses don’t tap dance, date their twin sister, or do algebra.
Thanks to all my outraged friends for the heads up.
There is obviously no end to the ignorance of Texan GOPers…. or their greed, vis a vis Cornyn’s triple dipping into the state treasury…. they should all be deported.
1I can remember mine discovering he had control of his feet. 10 weeks, and totally fascinated. Better than breakfast (which breakfast found hilarious).
2Yeah, he’s my congresscritter… I saw this comment/question this morning (I can’t find who said it, otherwise I’d give credit): Do Texas legislators have some kind of bet on who can say the dumbest thing?
3The fetus is also a good swimmer by 15 weeks, but that doesn’t make it ready to be a lifeguard.
Is there no end to how low these awful men will go? It makes me wonder how many unwanted children these asshats have adopted.
4I’ve seen male babies after they’ve discovered their stuff. Honey, they didn’t know it was there before and they’re not sure what to do with it now.
Did he maybe think that purposeful movement might be fluid movement on the momma’s part moving the baby about? C’mon, he’s in a compressed sac of fluid surrounded by a human, not isolated. Her dinner moving through the alimentary canal might be enough to push things about, don’t you think?
5I went and posted on his Facebook Page. Ya’ll should too…
Zygotes Rule!! Rock On!!
6Where the hell are these so-called Doctors turned Congressvarmints getting their degrees? All of them seem as learned as an old dead battery–having no juice and full of corrosion.
If you want to be concerned about not causing pain…then think beyond a cannot-survive-outside the womb fetus and start thinking about the would-be-mother and her pain.
Anything more and Mama will get out the soap.
7Dear GOP men:
STOP talking about women’s private parts for cryin’ out loud. You guy’s can’t even control your own thingies. Or your brains.
Good Grief.
8I think this is a classic example of “If my hands are between my legs I know what I’m doing, so the baby must be doing it also.”
It’s been quite a few decades since I took Psych. classes, but I think this is called transference.
9Awwwww . . . I think it’s sweet that the biggest wankers (i.e., the Texas state leg) are now looking out for the littlest ones. Fellow feeling, and all . . . Plus, it shows an ability to empathize which is a step forward in spiritual growth for these moral midgets.
10I didn’t know that on-line universities issued medical degrees. Has to be where this guy got his.
11Oops! Just noticed Burgess is in Congress, not the state legislature, as the earlier account I read had stated. But surely that’s even better?? Because that means it’s seeping UPWARD, in defiance of the laws of gravity and sewage . . .
12Purposeful is not the same as intelligent. Viruses are purposeful, but not intelligent. Same with Republican politicians.
13He’s the ultimate in pedophiles, he wants to screw with them before they are born.
14Anything doing with abortion I pretty much put under the heading of ‘holy hell, why are you asking me?’ and then move on to another topic just as fast as I can and usually involving videogames or power tools which I might actually have an opinion based on what I might know anything about. Sadly Republicans haven’t adopted my method of dealing with the issue but being geriatric wankers perhaps they can’t run from the topic as fast as I can, despite my increasing years, and know nothing about videogames or power tools. Still, when your logic for saying ‘it’s a living being with feelings and rights’ partially revolves on ‘look, he’s holding his penis’ perhaps you have your sense of priorities a bit twisted or spent too much time fondling your own genitalia to think that’s a sign of higher learning.
News flash: it isn’t.
Consider the embryo and it’s confined set of circumstance, you have these tiny grasping things at the ends of longer moving things you will later come to know as arms and hands there’s a dearth of things to hold onto, pretty much anything is fair game. Considering the willie is the only thing at that age that might actually fit in the grasping things, we shouldn’t be shocked that it may do so. It’s like saying ‘look, he pushed a button’ when someone is locked in a coffin with only a button inside of it. Of course they will hit the button and everything else inside the box until someone comes along and lets them out. Ask any mother if there are many internal organs they think their children missed kicking during their pregnancy. Chances are that they all got hit more than once by a flailing symbiote trapped in an embryonic sac.
I have my own viewpoints on when something is viable, when something should be considered a living being and not just some glorified parasite, but they mean absolute squat since I’m a man and it’s not something I’ll ever have to decide for myself so I should just sod off the whole discussion before I say something truly ridiculous.
But I digress. What were we talking about then? Oh, never mind, let’s talk about how the XBox One is resembling Orwell’s wet nightmares and how the Kinect seems like the bastard child of Hal 9000. And I think I’ve been watching entirely too much Zero Punctuation.
15Burgess should be aware that if the fetus is also redecorating the womb it may be gay.
16LYNN: oh you stinker….love it!!!!!
17A gal on HuffPo said, “When I saw my daughter’s sonogram, her hand was above her head. Does that mean she wanted to ask a question?”
18@June: glad they are not corrupting any more children than they must, it’s too bad they are allowed to reproduce.
@miemaw: I think his degree may have come outta a cereal box? Cracker Jacks maybe?
19Wasn’t that just entirely too special? I had to blog that one too because of the sheer incredulity it induced.
20Seems to me that Subscription might need to be for “Manhunt”
21(Or the Vatican Daily) I hear they have lot’s of images of men/Boys playin with their winkies.
Isn’t a sonogram of a 15 week fetus like looking at a Rorschach Test card? With movement. We’re not talking Blu-Ray HDTV here.
22If it were girl fetuses playing with themselves, this dude would probably change his mind and think that abortion was okay…”What? A female can figure out how to pleasure herself? Abort her! We Republicans don’t want any thinking women in the world. We will put a permanent camera on all the fetuses. If a girl fetus puts her hands between her legs, we will zap her. If a boy fetus puts his hands between his legs, we will track him for life and make him a Republican Congressvarmint from Texas.”
23I say we elect nothing but Independents and Democrats to elevate the topics of discussion to an acceptable level. I have given up on getting Republican noses out of my panties. At my age, it is simply disgusting!
24@ Mike in MO- obviously this twit has never seen a baseball game.How does he know the dude is not just adjusting his cup?
25@ Mike in MO- obviously this twit has never seen a baseball game.How does he know the little dude is not just adjusting his cup?
26What would be funny, if this whole determination to control women’s reproductive bits weren’t serious, is that there are people who might want to abort any male fetus caught masturbating. Because, you know, that’s so *wrong*. I had a guy tell me once that masturbation was a worse sin than raping a woman.
At least (!) this is a purely pleasure-principle reason, not religious. You’re not going to find THAT one in the Bible. God did not say “Let those who masturbate live forever.”
Mikey needs to come back as something with no penis, so he can find out there are other things in the world to enjoy than playing with his, even as a worm in the depths of the ocean.
27Miewmaw, this goofus actually enrolled at a “medical school” advertised on a matchbook! I would bet my Social Security check on that! I do notice that doctors from anywhere else in the world do not do like Goofus M.D. and his ilk do. Wonder why. Like I’ve said before, their intense, voluble interest on my lady parts is nothing less than pornographic. And they would make the very best cult members.
28Ever since they built that NASCAR track on 35W, dumber and dumber politicians and voters have moved into the area.
29That’s why I moved way away and so did my Mom.
Do we need laws regulating pre-natal porn? That’s got to be a step beyond child porn which is abhorrent.
30Great line: “they didn’t know it was there before and they’re not sure what to do with it now.”
31Don’t know if that applies to babies but it probably applies to a lot of Texas politicians.
donquijoterocket- Wow! How did I overlook the whole baseball equipment analogy? The possibilities for that line of thought are huge!
32Masturbating Fetuses sounds like a good name for a band
33LOL @ Kyle … OMG man … don’t go giving anyone any further ideas … however, I have to admit that made me LOL.
34Let’s see, male babies masturdate……
35I think Mike in MO summed it up pretty well. Bill Cosby did a bit MANY years ago about his wife’s pregnancy; he was concerned that the kid might be bored and wanted her to swallow a basketball or something — it’s a little tiny room, and it’s dark in there. It has been my experience with children that most of them don’t know what to do with a whole lot of their parts for some years. And as we see, yet again, many politicians never do figure it out.
36Read this today online. Could not believe this. There’s probably a reason he’s in Congress & no longer a practicing OB/GYN. This is comparable to Michelle Bachmann being on the House Intelligence Committe.
37I guess this explains why male babies are always caught masturbating in their cribs.. once they start they just can’t stop!
38Seriously, I think these men are sick, and they should be talking about jobs and food for poor kids and meals on wheels,
39instead of masturbating fetus’s and whether women can get pregnant from rape.
My other thought – do they know that controlling every part of a woman’s body is perfect sharia law?
Projection is a defense mechanism that involves taking our own unacceptable qualities or feelings and ascribing them to other people. Projection works by allowing the expression of the desire or impulse, but in a way that the ego cannot recognize, therefore reducing anxiety.
40I had to scrape my jaw off the floor after a friend sent me a link to the news article. Like a internet meme that’s floating around now state”Lord, who are these people and why do you keep sending them to me?” . . and as my boy Danny added “and what’s your return policy?”
41That would be “. . . .internet meme that’s floating around now states ”Lord,. . . .” Sheesh. Someday I’ll learn to edit BEFORE I post.
42