.

For those of you from foreign states, the race for the house speakership in Texas is becoming a damn goat rodeo.

“The Republicans can elect pretty much whoever they want, but they are arguing worse than schoolyard bullies.  And while it’s reassuring to know that they are spending all their allotment of righteous indignation on each other, it’s becoming an unseemly hatefest,” Juanita explains to Missy Beth.  Missy Beth hasn’t read a newspaper since Elvis died.

“Bob Straus, the current speaker, is a conservative but, according to the rightwing fringe, not conservative enough.  That means he doesn’t hate all the right people.  Plus, he’s Jewish,” Juanita explains, “a fact they continue to point out with code words like ‘Christian values’ and ‘founding principles’.”

“But the dangest thing happened today.  One of Straus’ opponents, Ken Paxton, has been getting endorsements from people who don’t live in Texas, like Mike Huckabee and Dick Armey.  We’ve been joking about waiting on the Chuck Norris endorsement,” she admits.

But this is funnier.

Cowboy Bolton

John Bolton, yes, THAT John Bolton, endorsed him today.

Former United Nations Ambassador John Bolton today endorsed Ken Paxton for Texas House speaker. Bolton, who doesn’t have a say in the matter, said Paxton’s bid to oust incumbent Joe Straus has national implications because of redistricting and border security.

National implications?

“Well then, hell, let’s elect Sarah Palin as speaker of the Texas house!  Good Lord, she can see Russia from her house, while Ken Paxton can only see Oklahoma,” Juanita grins.