I’ve Got a Sid Miller Story
About a year ago, Washington Post cartoonist Ann Telnaes did a cartoon depicting a stylized woman standing next to a sideways GOP elephant. The elephant had its trunk up the woman’s skirt. It was funny.
So when Marion Stanford of Hamilton, Texas, drew one of her own to put in her front yard, she meant it to make a point – just not the point Texas Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller’s sicko mind thought it meant.
Sid Miller was outraged, outraged I tell you, at this sign in Marion’s front yard. Sid took himself to Facebook to post pictures of the sign and claim, by gawd, it’s was Brett Kavanaugh’s daughter. Yes, absolutely, Marion drew a picture of Brett Kavanaugh’s daughter for the sole purpose to ridicule Kavanaugh’s daughter.
I dunno, but I’m pretty sure that Kavanaugh’s daughters have arms, and maybe noses. I hope you recall what I always say, “They first step to becoming a Republican is a humorectomy.” Sid and his supporters were so appalled by this yard sign that they called the cops.
The damn police.
They called the police contending the sign was pornographic and suggested that Marion was probably a pedophile.
“This is not something a reputable, respected politician would do,” Stanford said of Miller’s post. “There’s nothing in my sign that remotely suggests it’s Kavanaugh’s daughter.”
No matter, the police show up and the story gets weirder.
Here’s Marion’s side …
“Police told me to remove the sign or they would take it and would arrest me,” Stanford said. “So I let them take the sign.”
And here’s the city manager’s side …
It’s political season, and a citizen here placed a yard sign that featured a political animal taking an inappropriate position with a young child,” Pete Kampfer said. “A police member visited the owner’s home, and the owner asked the officer to take the sign.”
Okay, see, I don’t believe Marion would tell the police to take the sign without them suggesting something bad would happen if she didn’t. After all, that sign would bring a hefty bid at a Democratic political auction.
Y’all, these people are sick. But what can you expect from “Trump’s Man in Texas.”
Thanks to everybody for the heads up.
Trump has dragged this country into the toilet. Sid Miller is merely floating on the water’s surface.
1Excellent sign! Should be replayed in front of the Senate for Kavvie the Kavity. Hope the owner has a copyright as there’s a place in every state where that sign would be appropriate.
2I smell a civil rights lawsuit coming!
3Seriously, somebody would have to tell Old Sid that the sign was porn (which it surely ain’t). He is not smart enough to have had the original thought.
As for roadside/yard signs, there is a Beto sign on a side road to Ye Olde Mt. Vernon where George and Martha are buried. Beto’s sign is what we would call two cents plain. Aint nothing there but his name and thats sure enough!
4Let’s hope Sid doesn’t spot this cartoon about his ol’ bad self, currently playing on The YouTube, or he might call the police & send them out to the front yard of the internet, to confiscate it:
https://youtu.be/63OiyOSPcrI
5So ole $id is a bully. Who could have predicted that? Oh never mind, everyone.
6Photo of Sid Miller!
https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1GGGE_enUS631US631&biw=854&bih=393&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=
7Photo of Sid miller!
8https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1GGGE_enUS631US631&biw=854&bih=393&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=
I guess he’s too big of a turd for the photo to post here!
https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1GGGE_enUS631US631&biw=854&bih=393&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=
9Trump* doesn’t have any “men” anywhere. They are all aged petulant little boys.
10Is Sid still trying to prove his manhood, by mounting Cows?
11Cole, old Sid is still alive. So it’s a safe bet he’s steering clear of the bulls and restricting himself to the heifers. Leave it to the snacilbupeR to combine penchants of bestiality and pedophilia.
12My mother was Sid’s fifth grade teacher. She never thought he was very smart.
13Well… if I were making that sign, I’d have made the female figure without pigtails, because it does look like a little girl. And I think the damn GOP (I won’t say elephant, because they are nice endangered creatures who don’t deserve the smear) have got their hands up women trying to mess with us and give us transvaginal probes and all that other damn stuff if we want to control what happens in our own bodies. I think they mess with reproductively-capable females more than little girls. So the sign is open to misinterpretation.
But Kavanaugh’s little girl? Dude, put down whatever substance you have been ingesting, or else work on getting a brain.
14Elephant with his nose up a woman’s skirt — OH, NO! That’s pornographic!!!
Republican man with his hand, or other parts up a woman’s skirt — probably the woman’s fault. Plus, he never, ever did ANYTHING like that! How dare you!
Republican lawmakers’ laws up a woman’s skirt and elsewhere — doing the righteous work of the panty police.
15Truth is an absolute defense.
16Easy solution, GOP trunk over mouth!
It’s what the GOP wants, I mean, demands. Pigtails or not.
17A prize needs to be offered for whoever can come up with a vocabulary word or phrase for this type of thing, because if there is one already, I’m not familiar with it. Examples:
(1) Sid Miller wildly circuitously imputed that the sign in front of Ms. Stanford’s house in Hamilton depicted Brett Kavanaugh’s daughter, when nothing about the sign suggested any such thing. Ms. Stanford almost got arrested for free speech, and only by taking the sign down.
(2) Sarah Palin wildly circuitously imputed, from proposed legislation that said no such thing, that one or more death panels would result if pending HR3200 were passed. See the second paragraph on “death panel” at Wikipedia.
(3) Ted Cruz wildly circuitously imputed (jokingly he only later claimed despite repeating it), based on a PETA protest show-up at one of his rallies, in Columbus, that if Beto O’Rourke were elected, barbecue would be banned in Texas. On the alleged humor, read the Washington Post article on the subject by Googling “anatomy cruz joke barbecue” without the quotation marks.
I’ll stop with those three examples and offer an entry for the suggested vocabulary contest:
EXAGGEREPUBCATION (or something close thereto)
ex aj er pub kay shun
(The third E is silent.)
Note that Beto O’Rourke already IS elected, as a Congressman, and no barbecue ban has happened. I would think the legislature and governor would have to do such a ban, and the last time I checked, the legislature and governor were Republican and a federal Senate election doesn’t tinker with that. (Cue remedial civics course.)
18I’m going to offer three quick amendments to the examples, propose a new candidate vocabulary phrase, and then shut up.
The amendments:
(1) “Sid Miller wildly circuitously in his brain….”
(2) “Sara Palin wildly circuitously in her brain….”
(3) “Ted Cruz wildly circuitously in his allegedly joking brain….”
The new candidate vocabulary phrase borrows from many treasured Bullwinkle-Saturday mornings in my youth. It reflects the notion that the point of this particular brand of “makin’ up stuff” (thank you, President Obama), which is a distant cousin of “truthiness” (thank you, Mr. Colbert), is to frighten really really gullible Repubs about a purely fictional something that Dems are said to be doing (e.g., sleezing Kavanaugh’s daughter) or favoring (e.g., death panels or banning barbecue in Texas).
FRACTURED FRAIDY TALE
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