Okay, I’m pretty damn certain that you already know that Rick Perry thought he was going to be a “global ambassador for the oil and gas industry,” which he also thought included a sash and a small but tasteful and exquisite tiara.

The damn fool did not know what the Department of Energy does. And that is only one of the long and continuing list of things Rick Perry does not know.

Two-thirds of the agency’s annual $30 billion budget is devoted to maintaining, refurbishing and keeping safe the nation’s nuclear stockpile; thwarting nuclear proliferation; cleaning up and rebuilding an aging constellation of nuclear production facilities; and overseeing national laboratories that are considered the crown jewels of government science.

Government science? Honey, Rick Perry doesn’t believe in either one of those things.

And if the thought of Rick Perry overseeing our nuclear stockpile doesn’t cause sweat to break out on your neck so heavy that it rolls down your back and forms little sweat bead things on your butt, then you don’t understand nuclear. Hell, Rick Perry can’t even pronounce nuclear.

But I am certain this job doesn’t require much brain matter so Ole Rick will be fine.  It’s not like he’s stepping into big boots or anything.

If approved by the Senate, he will take over from Ernest J. Moniz, who was chairman of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology physics department and directed the linear accelerator at MIT’s Laboratory for Nuclear Science. Before Moniz, the job belonged to Steven Chu, a physicist who won a Nobel Prize.

Hell’s Bells, give Rick one of those Physics Made Real Easy books and he’ll be up to speed in a couple of hours.

Y’all, I’m gonna enjoy this hearing so much.