How To Know That Your Campaign Consultant is Ripping You Off
We have a special election going on here for a State Senate seat. It’s an open election – which is like a general election with more than one candidate from each party. It’s a free-for-all. There are three Republicans running and two Democrats (yeah, yeah, we tried to talk the second Democrat out of filing so we could unite behind one candidate and have a much, much better shot at making the run-off but nooooooo.).
Anyway, one of the candidate is Gary Gates, a man with far more money than good sense. He’s run for office about 20 times and lost 26 times.
He loaned himself $100,000 to lose this race.
So, some damn sleazy political consultant is happy to oblige. Here’s the deal. Who would send an expensive ballot by mail application to the County Democratic Party Chairman (public information) who has already requested and received a ballot by mail for the entire year (public information)?
Now that’s some wasteful spending, my conservative friend.
Yeah, that’s Ron Paul endorsing him.
He’s hoping people will mistake him for Louie Gohmert. It worked on me.
1OK. Gotta admit. Its good to have a program available for the way elections are run in your party of the geography, JJ. Where I come from, this kind of stuff is boring! But Gates does fill the bill. He does not stray any distance away from the other RWNJ’s when it comes to clarity of thinking and throwing around $$ on the wrong damn thing. Kinda counting on you to let us know how this election turns out. 3 GOPers? They all oughta cancel each other out.
2Top 10 Ways to Know That Your Campaign Consultant Is Ripping You Off:
#10) He demanded payment in cash, small bills, up front.
#9) All his sub-contractors are family members.
#8) He’s never heard of “itemizing.”
#7) FEC filings by his previous clients list him as “The Black Hole of Calcutta, LLC.”
#6) All your TV ads end up being mocked by Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, as she comes out of the 2:30 AM commercial.
#5) Two words: “Restraining Order.”
#4) He got into politics after he couldn’t draw “Winky” on the matchbook.
#3) Examples of literature from previous campaigns include guys you never heard of until their trial.
#2) Google Maps places his office address somewhere in the middle of the Gulf.
And the Number 1 Way to Know That Your Campaign Consultant Is Ripping You Off:
#1) He lists Tom Delay as a personal reference.
3daChipster FTW!
4daChipster, you could make a T shirt from that list! I’d buy one. Well, if it had a “lady” neckline. I have so many T shirts with words on them that I’m afraid folks won’t know I’m a lady. Well, uh, maybe I better quit while I’m ahead. Nuther idea: we should make a stack of T shirts with Democratic slogans on them and give them to homeless folks. Free advertising.
5You know your consultant is ripping you off if you have one who doesn’t tell you the truth.
6Oh…I thought you knew your consultant was ripping you off if he/she was receiving payments.
I know there are probably good consultants out there, but mostly I am not impressed with the breed.
7#11) He or she calls collect from county jail.
What’s with the Democratic candidate doing Republican math? Is that person really a Democrat? And no, I don’t mean DINO; talking about something like the crazy Libertarian that attempts to run as a (D), too. Can’t recall her name, but she was/is a real Lyndon LaRouche tool.
8Oh, that girl who ran on the Larouche ticket, set up bad signs about Obama with Hitler moustache at post office. Grr.
9The Brazos County Democratic Party got 3 invitations to Abbott fundraisers. Why shouldn’t Don get mailings. Let them spend their money on people who will never vote for them.
10I thought that was Loopy Louie Gohmert on that pamphlet, too!! Could they be twins from a different mother? That’s creepy!!
11Once again, I had NO idea there was a Dem in this race. I live in this district and am pretty politically aware. I got two phone calls today from the Repub campaigns, and there are campaign signs all over the neighborhood.
Maybe this is why Dems never win in TX. Half the time you don’t even know they are running.
12Jill, I completely understand how you feel. This is a crazy special election. It was literally a 10 day election, including filing, mail ballots, early voting and election day. Because it is a heavily Republican district, they have been campaigning for it for over a year because they were betting that their candidate in the seat would win higher office (comptroller) and vacate the seat. Democrats didn’t have that luxury because we didn’t want it to look like we believed our candidate was going to lose that race.
I’m voting for Christian E. Hawkins. I hope you do, too.
13Yep, I got that mailer, and a paid staffer for Gates called me of all people. I kept him on the line about twenty minutes. If he calls you, keep asking him questions. The answers are pretty funny. I never knew Lois Kolkhorst is involved in a conspiracy with President Obama to grant amnesty to all illegal aliens. I voted for Christian E. Hawkins.
14Marge Wood, it was LaKesha Rogers; one of those names that should be “stored” lest it raise its ugly head again, like Sharron Angle.
15Gary Gates is a child abuser. Just Google his name and you can read how his kids were taken away for child abuse. I pray to god that he doesn’t win. Kolkhorst is bad but Gates is worse.
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