Holy Crap: Buck a Duck and Dump a Dog Edition
We are certain that gay marriage caused this.
Windermere Baptist Conference Center is a big ole honker place with a lake, camping, a hotel, conference center, RV Park, chapel, and swimming as long as you are modestly dressed. It’s in Missouri. They have all manner of things to save your soul, but it doesn’t work all that well.
The Boone County Sheriff’s Department Cyber Crimes Task Force on Tuesday arrested a 56-year-old Camden County man after he allegedly used the Internet to try to find a dog to have sex with.
Jerald L. Hill of the 500 block of Forest Circle in Roach was arrested in Columbia at 11:35 a.m. yesterday on suspicion of attempted unlawful sex with an animal and attempted animal abuse, Boone County sheriff’s Detective Tracy Perkins said in a news release. Hill was released from the Boone County Jail after posting bond totaling $1,000.
Well, Jerry Hill ain’t just your average CEO. He’s a Super DeLux Brand Christian CEO and he’s not just the CEO, but also the President.
But, day-um, it makes a helluva opening paragraph.
Windermere Baptist Conference Center likely will choose a new executive following the arrest of Jerald “Jerry” Hill on charges of soliciting sex with an animal.
Likely. Ya think?
And it does explain this little entry at the Windermere Baptist Conference Center website.
Pets
Absolutely no pets are allowed on the grounds, except within the RV Park boundaries.
Y’all, seriously, how long before gay marriage gets blamed for this? 3…2…1.. cue Pat Robertson.
Thanks to Brian for the heads up.
Gay marriage will be blamed second right after the President gets blamed first.
I second that “day-um”, JJ! Once heard this was something lonely boys did with cows way out in the country. When a cow wasn’t available they went looking for a St. Bernard!!!
1Sick, convoluted bastids
2At last, the source for some of the crazy ideas bouncing around in evangelical heads – themselves. That sure isn’t God talking to them.
3And these people call gays sick? I wonder how many hateful and hurtful things he has said about gays. The cops didn’t say what the “other” animal was that he wanted, but from the looks of the picture, I’m thinking it was probably a pig. They also didn’t mention if he had a box of doggie treats in his possession. The “show me” state of Missouri….PLEASE DON’T.
4Everybody knows Slick Rick-let’s talk sex with animals-Sanitorium put this guy up to this to prove there are perverts out there. Or maybe not. Most of us already know there are perverts out there,most uncleverly disguised as god-fearing christian pillars of the party of family values.
5Just a wild idea, but if there’d been anyone at all, gay or straight, who woulda married him, maybe that man wouldn’t be in that trouble. Bless his poor heart.
6No wonder they think gay marriage will lead to things most of us never even think about. This dude’s already there.
7He’ll cry and say he’s sinned and ask God to forgive him, and they’ll take him back and think he’s just wonderful. It keeps happening.
8Huh. If it’s Pat Robertson doing the blaming then it’s the women’s fault because they wear makeup or something.
Like I’ve said before, it’s projection with these conservatives. I’m betting some of those TX Repubs who are against gay marriage because it would lead to bestiality, are acquainted with this pervert and knew about his activities.
9Also, this good christian missionary: https://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/oklahoma-teen-claims-demon-made-molest-kenyan-orphans-article-1.1893920#Sjfcgd8AEGlQduw4.97
10Points Harry for cutting to the chase: “No wonder they think gay marriage will lead to things most of us never even think about. This dude’s already there.”
11Seems appropriate that his address is given as Roach, making him a Roach man, doesn’t it?
12We just got through discussing Republicans as sexual deviates (Umptydump) and including bestiality (Uncle Dave and Al in AZ) in that list, when along comes Mr. Baptist Beast his ownself. Dear me, even dogs aren’t safe in America.
13His defense will be that everyone knows that right wingers are not the best spellers and that he was ensnared by his google search for ruff sex.
14I just hope it wasn’t a MALE animal he was trying to have sex with. Because that would be some of that nasty homo stuff and that would just be WRONG.
15Oh,you guys are good!!
16glf-any idea if that missionary’s lawyer is the same one who defended Timothy McVeigh? Sure looks just like him.
17Yeah, but they have “adult” retreats!
18Bet I could make a fortune now selling bugger repellent to Missouri dog owners.
19(((Marge Wood))) You have got to be the nicest person I know! I’m glad he didn’t acquire some poor canine that can’t consent; I’m equally glad we were spared some horrifying story about ingested body parts that would have required some ‘splainin!! And then gone viral, to boot!
But I thought (when I saw his picture) much what you did; you have courage and a kind heart!
20Whoa! I live in this neck of the woods…All I can say is yuck. Windemere is a resort for the rich Baptist congregations — the Baptist churches in this area (Lake of the Ozarks) can’t afford to send their kids or families there for church camps.
21@e platypus onion
Not a hundred percent sure if he’s the same attorney.
22What, there weren’t any sheep available?
23@maggie:
24Yes. Such livestock, at least around Muleshoe, are referred to as “stump trained”. I leave the etymology of the phrase to the mind’s eye.
He looks a bit like a bull dog (apologies to all bull dogs), so I imagine it’s not easy for him to date humans. Marge Wood, you are soooooo much nicer than I am.
25So, was he looking for a male dog or a female dog? ‘Cause that makes all the difference with these guys.
26What’s his ad look like?
27SWM (protestant) seeks fetching OSS (opposite sex & species) for companionship and fun. Must be well groomed and current on shots. No alphas.
With apologies to Austin Powers, that’s quite a “shaggy dog” story.
28A thought stolen from another website … Since this is Missouri, a dog violated without its consent wouldn’t get pregnant.
29Best advertise for at least a two and a half year old dog.That should make it above the age of consent in most states.
So many things to consider
30Can’t worry about getting caught
Of course if I’m ever exposed
My political ambitions are for naught.
This guy must think dogs advertise for trysts under “Hootchie Kootchie Poochies”.
31I wonder if this factoid will show up on any of the t-bagger websites?
Remove the Christian label and all that is left is the decadent rich….
32Simply boggles the mind!! He could have saved himself and his church and his entire community a whole lot of embarassment if he would have retired to his room and took things well in hand!! Good Lord, what an idiot!!
33@Micr
34I’ve also heard it as ‘stump broke’. Must get the terminology correct for full credit. Beastly!
I’m sorry. I just think of all the wonderful, kind, caring Christians I have known in my life, folks who would never have done what that man did, and I get tired of everyone dumping on Christians. I know plenty of good, kind, generous Jews and Muslims too, and atheists, and Buddhists. For every one like that pathetic man, there are hundreds who are not that way and it is an embarrassment to others to be equated with him.
35Thanks. I know there are others here. And yes, what he did was wrong, just like the man I have known for many years who is in Huntsville for life for being a pedophile. Why don’t we just castrate them? Prisons are expensive. I’m madder at the super duper rich who don’t care how their bottom line affects everyone else. I betcha the prison where this man is, is owned by some big prison network that makes money for investors. And you’re right as always, JJ: you can’t make those things up. They are too weird.
I just now read the article about the teen and his compulsion. Now THAT is creepy. Camp folks should check out counsellors’ background. I can feel a rant coming on so I’m going to go do something else. Feel free to rant all you like about camps that let things like that go on. I’m envisioning groups I have known. I’d say that one in ten (of group leaders) was crazy or at least weird but others were all fairly saintly. Life catches up with folks. I know, I said hundreds. I stand by that. It’s just that most folks don’t go try to run a camp or private school or church.
36Maybe this is where that odd notion of “lipstick on a pig” comes from.
37IronCelt maybe; but for sure no one demonstrated the concept better than John McCain, when selecting his veep.
38