From Grievance to Gratitude
It seems to me that I’ve written about this before. I write so much for myself and others in other places that I often forget where these things are floating around. Admittedly, this is a huge idea that is difficult to break down into something easily consumable. However, I know we have some of the smartest readers on the block, so perhaps someone can convert this into something actionable.
Trumpism specifically and populism in general depends on a grievance state. It’s easy enough. All you need to tell people is that they aren’t achieving as much as they should be and that someone else is to blame for their failure. Obviously, there are two key points here. First, you need to convince people that they are failures. This is a lot easier said than done. You don’t want to overdo it. If you lean on that too much then they think you are insulting them. Of course, the next step is just too easy. You aren’t getting ahead because of this other group of people. The only thing that matters is finding the right scapegoat.
If I use myself as an example, I could say that I did not become a high school counselor like I had planned earlier in my career. I got the masters degree and applied for a lot of openings, but it just never happened. I could point out that sometimes I didn’t fit the demographic they were looking for. There are just not many male counselors in schools. If I were susceptible to grievance then I might start blaming women since they are the ones that hold the position. I might blame other ethnic minorities that seem to get more opportunities than I do. As you might suspect, this would be a mind trick to excuse myself of any culpability.
These are the two incontrovertible facts I come to. First, I am not currently in that position because of the choices I have made. There were times where I could have stayed on a campus and worked my way up to that level. There are other times when there are certain things I could have done outside of my job to prepare myself for that opportunity. I did not do those things. The second fact, is that I am better off where I am and actually am able to do more good performing the job I currently have. Naturally, this is not all about me, but our stories are common. Come across just about anyone and they could tell you that they could have gotten further and made more money if things had turned out differently.
Gratitude is easy enough and yet so elusive at the same time. I got opportunities others did not get. Many of us could say the same. Acknowledging that is the hard part. Acknowledging that we are where we should be is hard. Acknowledging that we are where we are because of choices we have made is even harder. So, finding a way to convince people that they should be thankful for what they do have sounds like a near impossible task. Furthermore, convincing them that they don’t have that dream job because of themselves is also hard. It’s so much easier to pick out a group to blame. Being happy in our skin seems so simple and yet so complicated. Maybe someone out there can find a way to make this actionable and not philosophical.
Hate and discontent is a dynamic that grows more quickly when fed in a group setting. Another thing is our culture’s need for competition in areas that don’t matter at all. As well as our unquenchable thirst for entertainment. And our willingness to be led.
1I’m not sure this is purely American ideal or even conservative or liberal necessarily, but we have a HUGE problem of our society equating money with success. Again, having not travelled much abroad I would have to plead ignorance as to whether this is a purely American idea or if it is just modern society in general.
Of course, a part of that is the amount that capitalistic society places value on certain skill sets and whether or not that actually agrees with what is valuable in the cosmic sense. I never really thought too much about making millions as I knew I never would as a teacher. However, as I get closer to the end I often wonder what my lasting legacy will be. Was I good at my job? Did I provide students with a positive role model? Did I positively impact their lives?
Social media provides some help there actually. I can check in with ex students from a distance just to see if they are living their best lives. Hopefully I had some little small part in that. Yet, we have prioritized as a society professions which actually don’t render much positive good one way or the other. Is a venture capitalist or hedge fund manager really making the world a better place? How about someone in an office somewhere as opposed to someone building things or fixing things with their hands? It’s all part of the same dynamic.
2A bit off topic but I think there’s some crossover:
I find myself thinking, now and then, “I don’t have time” for this, or that! but in reality, I’ve likely wasted more time than I’ve used in useful pursuits. What I don’t have is drive or desire!
Also, as I get to the end I’m extremely fortunate that several people have died and left me with what I currently have, or I’d still be making a living driving nails and digging ditches.
I reflect on most of my working life and realize how lucky I was that my brother managed our business together. If I had been a construction manager for anyone else, well, I fear that I wouldn’t have been one long!
3It amazes me that “the party of personal responsibility” spends so much time finding others to blame.
4You wrote
“Gratitude is easy enough and yet so elusive at the same time”.
Thanks. I think gratitude is key.
A lack of gratitude seems to be pervasive and corrosive, and it’s one of the easiest sins to commit. Without gratitude, which is an appreciation for what we have and how we benefit from others, we’re all too willing to tear others down.
5The second paragraph should be in a Sales101 textbook. lol
6Almost 71 years in business made me wonder if I could sell you as a failure. An impediment that I have is, Isn’t a HS counselor basically a teacher of one? From my capitalist perspective a teacher of the group is a better investment. Mom and Pop shops are “cute” but a factory is needed to serve the crowd.
CPR is a skill of no value to oneself.
Obviously the biggest difference Spirilis is a difference between prestige and what is rendered. Success is a frame of mind. Failure is the same.
7