Florida Man ….

August 30, 2019 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Every weird and great news story starts with “Florida man …”

 

They are warning residents of Florida not to fire bullets into the hurricane because they will come back and … you know … kill your stooped butt.

No, I am not kidding.

 

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0 Comments to “Florida Man ….”


  1. Mar A Lago is right in the path of Dorian. Sorry. Can’t stay for more comment. Must go someplace and cackle.

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  2. Had not heard that one. I am currently sitting at ground zero. in Central Fla. where the state slogan, The Sunshine State, gives way to the alternate slogan I coined, The Watery Lottery State. Thats because residents get to guess which track the storm is going to take. But Labor Day has been assured that the holiday will be a hunker in your bunker fest.

    At least we are being monitored by Adolf Twitler giving a blood lust tinged running account of our misery.

    In the grocery stores, the werewolves and vampires are howling and growling over empty bread shelves and almond milk leftover
    supplies.

    As I sit here, the wail of police cars and honking horns racing up and down I-4 tells me the angry asses who are expressing their road rage are behaving quite normally.

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  3. @megasoid: Stay safe and check it, if you can, and let us know what’s happening with you. I take it you aren’t evacuating.

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  4. That’s “check IN”. I wish there was an “edit” button.

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  5. What BarbinDC said! Stay safe and let us know how you are when you can. Is running an option?

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  6. BarbinDC @ 3/4

    Its all right, the fun hasn’t begun yet. We are getting downpours and NOAA for this zip code says winds will pick up Sat nite through Sun. Monday and Tue. are supposed to be the main event. A chance the storm will run up to the Georgia and Carolinas at the last minute. Thats the Watery Lottery analogy.

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  7. Buttermilk Sky says:

    I wish this was true, but it seems to have originated with a joke somebody Facebooked two years ago about Hurricane Irma. But yes, it’s not good to shoot or nuke hurricanes.

    Be safe, Florida, and don’t send the damn thing to Savannah.

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  8. While normal people in Florida take shelter, the Stand Your Ground crowd need to be told they shouldn’t go outside in 130 mph winds and shoot at clouds and rain.

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  9. @Rick Is that like the don’t spit into the wind thing?

    While I’m at it, I wanted to post this item as my own PSA:
    We caught a cosmic ray, one of science’s biggest mysteries

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9gQLELtbhg

    A weekend activity for the kids: CATCH A COSMIC RAY IN YOUR VERY OWN CLOUD CHAMBER

    This video is based on Vox science reporter Brian Resnick’s in-depth article about cosmic rays: https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/201

    For more on how cosmic rays can affect computers, check out Radiolab’s podcast “Bit Flip” https://www.wnycstudios.org/story/bit

    If you want to watch more videos like this, check out our friends at Verge Science. They do a ton of hands-on experiments and explorations into the future of science: https://www.youtube.com/vergescience

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  10. Thanks, megasoid. Stay safe.

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  11. hopefully Dorian will put paid to the delusion that the G7 could be held at the demented donnies doral slum.
    Even if it “misses” and the place retains their roofs flooding and potential contamination from toxic waste sites overflowing should destroy any value left in the property.
    Of course demented donnie may claim the “need” to host it there justifies fast tracking the use of remaining FEMA funds to rebuild and enhance the facility.
    But with possible pollution from taxic waste might just result in the rest of the G7 leaders to boycott meeting becausee of health concerns, and no one has even mentioned the roach infested kitchen yet.
    After all toxic waste is only acceptable for the peons who are told that they must risk health and life to enable “economic” growth for the elites, but entirely unacceptable for those elites who profit from creating the toxic waste.

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  12. I’m just gonna call bs on this right now. That website looks like a clickbait site. Surprised the headline didn’t say something like “Florida Authorities Furious About this One Weird Trick for Committing Suicide.”

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  13. lumpkin,
    Here’s a version from a few years ago, with legit sources. Just goes to show some people never learn:
    https://www.cnbc.com/2017/09/10/florida-sheriff-warns-residents-not-to-shoot-at-hurricane-irma.html

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  14. OT – Holeee Shit! Da boss ain’t gonna like dis.

    Speaking directly to White Nationalists – U.S. Attorney Justin Herdman’s comments on recent Ohio cases involving political violence.

    Remarks as prepared announcing federal criminal charges against James Reardon:

    Threatening to kill Jewish people, gunning down innocent Latinos on a weekend shopping trip, planning and plotting to perpetrate murders in the name of a nonsense racial theory, sitting to pray with God-fearing people who you execute moments later – those actions don’t make you soldiers, they make you criminals.  Law enforcement doesn’t go to war with cowards who break the law, we arrest them and send them to prison. 

    http://abcn.ws/32h2Qp1

    complete text of speech:

    https://www.justice.gov/usao-ndoh/pr/us-attorney-justin-herdmans-comments-recent-ohio-cases-involving-political-violence

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  15. I heard that shooting at hurricane only works if the part of the storm you’re aiming at is within range of Mar-A-Lago.

    Well that’s what I heard.
    Megasoid:
    Stay safe. I hope you and yours have a perfectly boring Dorian experience.

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  16. Grandma Ada says:

    I just saw the Molly Ivins biopic – beloveds, rush out and see it! And take tissues to dab your eyes during so many laughs and a few sad moments.

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  17. bernie Spencer says:

    Trump:. Let’s nuke hurricanes.

    Dorian, on her way to Mar a Logo:. Hold my beer.

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  18. Someone tell him to have the staff at both resorts to open the windows. Maybe it will blow the bedbugs and roaches out.

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  19. Rick: The article you linked to just says don’t shoot the hurricane because it could have bad side effects, which is true just about any time you shoot guns randomly. The original article says the hurricane will blow them back at you if you shoot directly into it which is ridiculous. I suppose if you shot nearly straight up at just the right angle the hurricane could blow the bullets back so they came back down on you but this is not what the first article is talking about. It is saying they will be blown straight back at you.

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  20. @ 1:20 am: This is why I don’t evacuate. Why leave the center of FL. To go where? The coast? No thank you. The eye kisses Melbourne/ The Cape, then heads straight north to Jax and onto Brunswick GA, still labeled H…

    https://www.nhc.noaa.gov/refresh/graphics_at5+shtml/024334.shtml?gm_track#contents

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  21. click the little box in the upper right corner to get color contrast and zoom functions.

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  22. Correx: M – not H, for Cat 4 storm. Tiny graphics.

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  23. Linda Phipps says:

    New predictions have the hurricane veering northward, brushing against the state only. (But watch out Georgia and the Carolinas) Sadly, this will give heart to the White Evangelicals who are wearing out their knees who would then claim the effectiveness of prayer. As for the guys shooting into the storm, they will be proud as well.

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  24. I had no idea, when I moved down here, what I was getting myself into.

    As for me — the biggest risk I’m taking is finishing off the ice cream in the freezer and frying up all the bacon in the fridge so it will be edible when the power goes.
    Oh the sacrifices we make . . . .

    I’ve been on keto for over a year — but do you know how many keto foods don’t require refrigeration? Damn few. So I’ve stocked up on prepared [read high-carb] foods — even CHIPS!
    Like I said, we gotta make some sacrifices in life.

    To the rest of you who thought, “Hey! I’ll retire to Florida! What a novel idea — I’ll bet no one else has thought of that,” eat up all your freezer food, check your flashlights and stay safe.

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  25. @ Linda Phipps 23:
    What about all those white Evangelicals who live in Georgia and the Carolinas?

    It’s pretty self-centered of the Florida Evan’s ain’t it?

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  26. @ megasoid 30:
    Hey, I’m in St. Petersburg and didn’t evacuate during Irma — and was just fine thankyouverymuch.
    Not far from the coast, sure — but I’m at 28 feet elevation. Hell, in Florida, that’s the highlands! I get nosebleeds.

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  27. thatotherjean says:

    I’ve never quite understood Evangelicals “praying away the hurricane”. It’s not like hurricanes turn around and head straight out to sea–they generally just come ashore in a slightly different spot. The people of one particular city may not get the brunt of the storm, but somebody else does. How is that success?

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  28. off subject
    With Dorian threatening could it adversly effect the special election in North Carolina?
    Just another excuse for the thuglicans to try and steal another seat

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  29. Linda Phipps says:

    Two crows: the evans will always have an explanation whether it makes sense or not. Of course it won’t ever make sense.

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  30. @ Linda Phipps:
    True dat. There is no rhyme or reason there.

    Meanwhile, I am p-o’d!!! THIS is what I get for planning ahead and getting to the stores before everything is gone.
    I’m out over $300 and have a kitchen-full of carbs. And Dorian is turning away.

    This storm has all the characteristics of a cat: Pay attention to me!!! OK, that’s enough — I’m outta here.” And there you are, dangling a stupid feather-on-a-stick, looking like a fool.

    My thoughts are with the folks in the Bahamas. I’ll bet they’re WISHING they’d wasted all that prep money.

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