FIFTY SHADES OF WHITE
Sam from Kyle
We’re gonna hear a lot of disturbing news from Florida in the next few days: Widespread destruction and human misery; emergency rooms filled with sick and injured; hoarding and black markets; and widespread violence and looting. But enough about the Republican Party Platform.
There are lots of things you won’t hear from the convention (motto: Science = B – i – b – l – e). For instance, “Where’s Newt?” or “How bout’ them Mormons?” probably won’t make it to the fair and balanced Fox broadcast. What both deal with, of course, is multiple wives. Newt to be fair only committed bigamy for a short time while Mitt’s grandfather had 12, count em, 12 wives. Is there any wonder Mitt grew up to be such a strong leader with unwavering views? He comes from a family where his grandfather not only owned 12 wives; he also had to deal with 12 mother-in-laws. If corporations are people, Mitt’s ancestor ran 12 corporations and dealt with 12 board of directors.
What other words will we not hear? Based on what we’ve heard and seen over the past decades terms like compassion, Christ like, social network, sex (except between a GOP delegate and a hooker), love, empathy, gay rights, minority rights, responsible foreign policy will all be verboten on the floor of the gathering. If, heaven forbid, one of these terms are mentioned, it will have the phrase “The Republican party abhors ……”. Delegates will shrug their shoulders and go back to reading the theme book of the convention, Fifty Shades of White.”
Instead, delegates will stifle their collective gag reflex and nominate Mitt Romney and his trusty sidekick Robin to lead us down the path to fiscal Hell, at least for those of us who don’t keep our best friends in vaults in Switzerland and the Cayman Islands. After all, in GOP eyes Mitt may be a flip flopper with morals that Bernie Madoff would deplore, but he is the epitome of all they stand for: greed, bigotry, and fear.
Any word yet from the Pat Robertson Hurricane Blame Center? Seems a bit late in the game but nary a peep. Rest assured, I will NOT be listening for the unanticipated announcement.
So far,the Royal Gasbag has been blaming Obama, NWS, and government everywhere for interrupting the GOP Hatefest. Really, Rush? Have you no respect at all for your listeners? Silly question.
1If Pres. Obama’s Kenyan grandfather had 12 wives do you think we’d be hearing about it every 20 minutes?
2Excellent piece this morning, Sam! Definitely loved your opening paragraph … made me laugh and I needed a laugh after dealing with the folks at Bresnan/Optimum cable this morning! I’m thinking this needs to be on my Facebook page … LOL
3Nice post, Sam! I love “50 shades of white.” Two more words we won’t hear are “tax returns.”
Looks like, for Mitt’s coronation, Isaac will stay mostly offshore, like Mitt’s money!
4Did you see Chris Matthews on Morning Joe? I thought Reince might start crying. Worth the watch.
5Oh well done Sam!
6pourmecoffee @pourmecoffee
GOP convention will start briefly today then immediately quit. I think it’s some kind of tribute to Palin.
7Good post, Sam from Kyle.
CLH, I saw Chris this morning and he was on a roll. If Reince is supposed to increase membership in the Repuke party, I don’t think he’s doing a very good job at it. His snarky, lying comments are tough to listen to. Chris has a much quicker mouth.
8Lord, I hope this convention is over in a shorter amount of time than it took me to get through the first couple of chapters of that hideous book. I gave up. Abunch of Right Wingers together is about as enlightening.
9Reince Preibus….doesn’t he look like PeeWee Herman? His reaction to Chris was sophmoric. What an insipid little man; just right for that job!
10I used to think Michael Steele was a clown. Reince makes me miss Michael.
11Well done, Sam.
The storm is a great excuse for Republicans to avoid the convention. Barbour was thrilled to stay home.
12A friend of mine observed this morning that if you take the vowels out of “Reince Priebus” you get RNC PR BS.
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