Feliz Cinco de Mayo
Ah, today calls to mind fond memories of my childhood, when the entire Hachecristo clan would gather around the Cinco de Mayo arbusto, decorated with exactly 5 ornaments made of mayonnaise jar lids.
My cousin, Jesus Hachecristo, and I would hang around under the table while the adults drank homemade pulque and Dos Equis or Bohemia beer, picking up fallen cards or poker chips and sneaking them to favored uncles in exchange for a sip of beer, which we sometimes kept the whole bottle of.
Then everyone would go outside and the blindfolded children – and some drunk uncles – would take wobbly whacks at piñatas of Napoleon III or Maximilian I, singing patriotic Mexican songs and Mayo carols, until someone got bored and shot the piñata, shattering the clay inside and showering the ground with coins and candy.
No, not really.
Cinco de Mayo actually celebrates Mexico winning the battle of Puebla in the 1860s over the French Army, which had not lost a battle since Napoleon. Unfortunately, they lost the war, so not many people in Mexico actually celebrate it.
The US had been imperializing at Mexico’s expense for some time (remember the Alamo?) and the Mexican-American War in the 1840s had left Mexico with a huge debt. Luckily, gold was discovered in California. Unluckily, California was now part of the US. Eventually, Mexico stopped paying its debts to Spain, Britain and France, so those three Great Powers sailed up to Veracruz and called their notes due.
Bill Collectors at the Gates!
Britain and Spain were persuaded to leave, but France had more than late fees on their mind. They invaded and, despite the short blip at Puebla where 4000 Mexicans defeated 8000 French, they did manage to win the war, and the French Emperor, Napoleon III, installed a Mexican Emperor, Maximilian I, as the head of a client state in America.
Napoleon III
They only reason they were able to get away with this was that the Monroe Doctrine, while strongly supported by the US, was unfortunately unenforceable during a little internecine dust-up called the Civil War. Lincoln didn’t want to annoy France at the time, so Maximilian’s reign lasted just long enough for us to get our shtuff together, and support the Mexicans in driving him out a few years later.
Maximilian I at his Coronation
Meanwhile, back at Sutter’s Mill…
During the French conquest, news of the remarkable victory at Puebla had reached formerly Mexican citizens in the gold fields, who fired guns into the air, gave speeches, sang songs and got drunk, all in celebration of the Glorious Fifth of May. It wasn’t until a few weeks later that some Forty-niner Paul Harvey let them know the REST of the story. Nevertheless, Cinco de Mayo remained an important cultural holiday among California Chicanos and, eventually, became Mexican St Patrick’s Day for the rest of America.
Happy Cinco de Mayo
In Mexico, it’s only really noted around Puebla, and in the board rooms of certain breweries.
But, anyway, Feliz Cinco de Mayo from la familia Hachecristo. May your Fifths be Merry and bright. And may all your mayonnaise be white.
Dang! That brought back the memory of Cinco de Mayo in Mexico City where my husband and I honeymooned. Turns out the Cinco de Mayo observation that year had to be postponed a bit so we got a good look at it! Thanks for that memory. Yesterday would have been our 48th anniversary. 44 years isn’t such an insignificant number to sniff at. Feliz Cinco de Mayo, y’all!
1Happy Cinco de Mayo! Denmark celebrates 5 May as Liberation Day, the day when the Germans in Denmark and Norway surrendered to Montgomery in 1945. Tonight, people will put lighted candles in their windows to celebrate the end of the war-time blackout and remembrance of the dead.
2Cinco de Mayo
Cinco de Mayo
Would like to use Trump
As a living Pinata.
Sorry Mama—some times I can’t help myself.
3Whurd that margarita mac hine go??????
4KJ’s El Salvadoran nanny, Uncle Freddie got me again. We’re celebrating with a barbecue tonight. Trust us to put the “honorary Irish” to shame. 😀
Feliz Cinco de Mayo!
5Re Happy Cinco de Mayo
And May the Fourth be with you as well.
6Nice touch to the history lesson, Primo. Mix in some crock potted pork chili verde and cerveza for a happy ending to spite reality:)
7Old white lady that I am and 2 or 3 other ladies that live at the Royal Gorge Manor in Canon City, CO will be going to one our favorite Mexican restaurants, El Caporol, for lunch and a margarita!! Ole!!!
8Hey Micr, I think I saw a penquin staggering down the road with a margarita machine on his back -and there was a seal flippering along beside him…
9When I was a young girl, I had a white, carved wooden horse purported to be a likeness of Maximillian’s stallion. I know it was a stallion because you could see his dongle, not completely anatomically correct, but recognizable. It came from Mexico, but I don’t remember exactly how I came about getting it.
10Cinco de Mayo is my late husband’s birthday. We always went for Mexican food on that day. There was a time that the restaurants would give you a free meal if it was your birthday. Lee was big on free food! Tonight I will go with my daughter and two friends to our favorite place.
Happy Birthday, Lee!
Feliz Mexican not-Independence Day! I had chili for lunch. And from catching the last minute of America’s Funniest Home Videos a few times while waiting for the next show, I can advise males especially never to be anywhere near blindfolded children swinging a big stick.
I hope all the good people of Mexico have a good holiday.
11Thanks for the history lesson (especially that photo of Jack Russell Napoleon), Primo, and I wish I could raise a glass of mescal, but the doc says no go with the heart meds.
12It’ll have to be club soda. Feliz todo el mundo.
\Kin I be an honorary Mexican? It’s time for a party. Matter of fact, it’s always time for a party. Hmmm….
13Primo-I is surprised at you. Every one knows Maximilian 1 was ambidextrous and plucked guitar strings with his teeth. Don’t often see an acoustic bass.
14Beautiful tribute,JanK. Thanks for sharing.
15epo: it’s a mariachi bass, they’re all acoustic. I think they call one this small a chihuakaleli
16Loved your history lesson!
17Thanks for the back story! My daughter has an annual Cinco de Mayo party. A few years ago she wanted to add crawfish to the festivities, so the party is now officially Cinco de Bayou! A crawfish wearing a sombrero is the official mascot. So, beer, Mexican food and mud bugs for all!
18Whenever I go to an antique shop and see a Civil War uniform, I’m always struck by how much smaller people were back then. But seeing these pictures really drives it home for you how tiny they really were.
19Historians claim Custer’s cavalrymen were undernourished and most weighed around 160 pounds plump full of Indian bullets and arrows. 160 pounds is what the average college football player weighs at birth.
20Napoleon III was a well-known swiller of wine and gnawer of baguettes, the cur! A real haute dog.
Maximilian was assumed to have become chot by the forces of Benito Juarez, but in reality he escaped to California, where later he starred as the Bionic Dog that was the predecessor to America’s Cyber-Couple, Steve Austin and Jaime Sommers. His name was Max and guess how much he cost?
21@daChipster
@epo
Once a long time ago at a flight museum we saw some ww2 Army Air Forces jackets on display. I thought at first glance this was some sort of kids display. But no these tiny jackets were worn by full grown adult males in 1942-1945 time frame. And yes one imagines a 340 pound corn fed Nebraska lineman probably did weigh 160 as a 5th or 6th grader. Just damn.
22A while back, I ripped out my Hellsinkie, which used to ejaculate water all over the kitchen, all by my lonesome. The replacement arrived today. It’s my Sinko de Mayo.
23Whoa! Sanborne! For a moment I thought you were describing self-inflicted transgender surgery!
24@Sanborne Addison
Hellsinkie reminds me of a german shepherd mix we got years ago. He came to us named Helmut, but due to his personality he was renamed Hell Mutt very quickly.
25I’ve never celebrated Cinco de Mayo. Nor St. Patrick’s Day. No drunken revels for me, thanks. I’d rather stay home. Good history lesson, Primo.
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