Fake News Ted Cruz
Okay, so it appears that we can make up funny nicknames, too. And it’s for Ted Cruz.
Ted Cruz tweeted yesterday –
Scenes from the impeachment trial: Schumer invited Lev Parnas to be his personal guest today at the trial. Minutes ago, Parnas was ejected from the gallery…because he’s wearing an ankle bracelet mandated bc he’s a criminal defendant accused of serious felonies! #CantMakeItUp
— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) January 29, 2020
Well, come to find out. You can, indeed, make that up.
Parnas’ lawyer answered back —
Fake news Ted Cruz, makes up something that can’t be made up. Lev Parnas’ attorneys attended the trial, while Lev joined us for a unity walk & press conference. Lev wasn’t “ejected.” Read the news, check the facts, #callthewitnesses. Why not depose him now, Ted? Just let us know. https://t.co/PInidwLra6
— Joseph A. Bondy (@josephabondy) January 29, 2020
Several hours later, Ted corrected himself. Well, kinda. “Turns out,” he said, “what I was told in the Cloakroom was slightly inaccurate.” Slightly? Yes, Parnas was there. He never tried to go in the gallery. That’s “slight” in astronomical terms.
They are all going to hell, I tell you.
“When you get caught between the moon and New York City”
Points for Ms. Juanita Jean Herownself! It’s no easy feat working Teddie Crooze and “news” into the same sentence. We need/want some banner headlines in November when Texas replaces Cornyn with MJ Hegar. Never too soon to find a Democratic replacement for Crooze.
1“They are all going to hell, I tell you.”
These days, it is a true test of faith to be a Unitarian Universalist but, as one friend suggested, “Yes, there is no hell, but some people are going to have to go to the back of the line to heaven.”
2I just read C.S. Lewis The Great Divorce. From this enlightenment I would say that the GOP doesn’t even bother to leave hell/purgatory to get on the bus to go to heaven. If one did accidentally get on, he’d ride the return bus. Ted would have to be that one!
3Ted did however read Green Eggs & Ham accurately.
Maybe he’s best when sticking with written stories?
4Slightly related: thank you to JJ, EJ, and all the folks at this saloon for NOT posting that picture of Cruz in a paisley bathrobe. It truly is sickening.
About two years ago I had 3 Asian women grad students who had no idea of who or what a Ted Cruz was. They saw that picture and immediately had the reaction “Ewwww”. Followed by “looks like the kind of guy that follows you on campus and makes creepy comments”. So it’s not even dependent on knowing how disgusting his politics are!
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