I know conversion is possible because I have gone through it personally. No, this isn’t one of those Saul getting knocked off the horse moments. I didn’t have a burning bush talk to me or have a near death experience. I don’t want to make light of those events because I am sure some people experience those things and they seem very real for them. Who am I to say different?

What I do know is that most of us don’t experience those things. So, conversion has to come from within. We need some kind of realization (or a ha moment) and then the courage and fortitude to actually make a lasting change.  Most people associate conversion with organized religion. Certainly, there are opportunities there, but it doesn’t have to be that way and while religion can be a catalyst for change, the change itself is graded and evaluated independent of that. After all, what good is going to church, praying, and studying if it doesn’t actually lead to tangible change in our lives?

What I have talked about before is a change of mindset from grievance to gratitude. I have been in a grievance state. When I was younger I completed my masters in counseling and wanted to be a school counselor. I did it for three years at the elementary level, but it wasn’t a good fit for me. I lost that job and had difficulty getting back into education. I spent an inordinate amount of time angry.

Why were other people getting opportunities that I wasn’t. I felt that I was a victim of reverse discrimination. I am a white male in a field dominated by women. When I was an elementary counselor I was the only male counselor in the entire school district. I had sunk into a mindset of grievance. That anger was also sifting out into my personal life as well as my attitudes towards other groups that seemingly got advantages. I was on the train to conservatism.

Part of the conversion happened because I got an opportunity to do what I am doing now. Part of it came because I had time to process all of the things that had happened and realized I had a huge role in my own fate. Part of it came in the wisdom of realizing that I had had opportunities given to me all while I seemingly was prevented from doing things.

Going from grievance to gratitude is hard. It takes a long time because wisdom absolutely never happens in the moment. It comes after reflection and some perspective none of us have as things are happening. This is why I can’t give up on people trapped in a grievance mindset.

The honest to God truth is that all of us have the capacity and justification for choosing either. We can point to crap that happens in our lives and shout, “it’s just not fair.” In many cases it isn’t. In many cases there are people less talented and proficient than us that somehow stumble their way into positions above us. As such, there are many of us that have earned that grievance and can wear it without any tinge of irony.

At the very same time, we all have something to be grateful for. If nothing else, we get the opportunity to wake up every day and make a new start. I probably get the opportunity to impact many more students than I would as a counselor. Whatever life force we choose to believe in, that force is wiser and smarter than we are. It knows where we fit best in this universe. Whether that is God, Yahweh, Allah, Krishna, fate, Buddha, or anything else we can name, we can choose to believe we are in the very best place. Obviously, truth is a four letter word, but perspective is not. Moving folks from grievance to gratitude sounds like moving mountains, but I am here to tell you it’s not only possible, but a necessity.