I know conversion is possible because I have gone through it personally. No, this isn’t one of those Saul getting knocked off the horse moments. I didn’t have a burning bush talk to me or have a near death experience. I don’t want to make light of those events because I am sure some people experience those things and they seem very real for them. Who am I to say different?

What I do know is that most of us don’t experience those things. So, conversion has to come from within. We need some kind of realization (or a ha moment) and then the courage and fortitude to actually make a lasting change.  Most people associate conversion with organized religion. Certainly, there are opportunities there, but it doesn’t have to be that way and while religion can be a catalyst for change, the change itself is graded and evaluated independent of that. After all, what good is going to church, praying, and studying if it doesn’t actually lead to tangible change in our lives?

What I have talked about before is a change of mindset from grievance to gratitude. I have been in a grievance state. When I was younger I completed my masters in counseling and wanted to be a school counselor. I did it for three years at the elementary level, but it wasn’t a good fit for me. I lost that job and had difficulty getting back into education. I spent an inordinate amount of time angry.

Why were other people getting opportunities that I wasn’t. I felt that I was a victim of reverse discrimination. I am a white male in a field dominated by women. When I was an elementary counselor I was the only male counselor in the entire school district. I had sunk into a mindset of grievance. That anger was also sifting out into my personal life as well as my attitudes towards other groups that seemingly got advantages. I was on the train to conservatism.

Part of the conversion happened because I got an opportunity to do what I am doing now. Part of it came because I had time to process all of the things that had happened and realized I had a huge role in my own fate. Part of it came in the wisdom of realizing that I had had opportunities given to me all while I seemingly was prevented from doing things.

Going from grievance to gratitude is hard. It takes a long time because wisdom absolutely never happens in the moment. It comes after reflection and some perspective none of us have as things are happening. This is why I can’t give up on people trapped in a grievance mindset.

The honest to God truth is that all of us have the capacity and justification for choosing either. We can point to crap that happens in our lives and shout, “it’s just not fair.” In many cases it isn’t. In many cases there are people less talented and proficient than us that somehow stumble their way into positions above us. As such, there are many of us that have earned that grievance and can wear it without any tinge of irony.

At the very same time, we all have something to be grateful for. If nothing else, we get the opportunity to wake up every day and make a new start. I probably get the opportunity to impact many more students than I would as a counselor. Whatever life force we choose to believe in, that force is wiser and smarter than we are. It knows where we fit best in this universe. Whether that is God, Yahweh, Allah, Krishna, fate, Buddha, or anything else we can name, we can choose to believe we are in the very best place. Obviously, truth is a four letter word, but perspective is not. Moving folks from grievance to gratitude sounds like moving mountains, but I am here to tell you it’s not only possible, but a necessity.

There is a concept I have been struggling with for some time. The concept is the concept of conversion. It’s a struggle because the term itself has a negative connotation for those that are wary of the heavy handed nature of faith. However, if we remove the religious connotation we can see the same hope for those that have become locked in a silo of hate, grievance, and expectation. The key word here is the word: deserve. It is a nasty word that has trapped millions into this silo of their own making. Others get stuff they don’t deserve. They didn’t earn it. It was taken from me. They took it. I need to take it back.

My wife and I started watching a series of videos called “What if…”. Essentially, it is a collection of videos of what would happen if (insert disaster here). The end result was almost always a horrible death. Pay attention long enough and you realize if you change this molecule, move or change the sun, add or change the moon, or change the rotation of the planets and we all die. It can turn you into an environmental fanatic or simply readjust our perspective. We don’t deserve to breathe. We get to breathe. We are lucky. Whatever cosmic force (or natural laws) we choose to believe in has allowed us to live. Suddenly, what we deserve doesn’t matter all that much.

A travelling priest brought this home last night. The key to conversion was the notion of gratitude. It is the same conversion that will move people from a position of grievance to a position of gratitude. It is the conversion that readjust our thinking from wondering why anyone lesser than us deserves to get something or someone greater than us that doesn’t need anything deserves to get something. In other words, deserve is a dirty word.

The question isn’t whether kids deserve to have their student loans forgiven. The question isn’t whether large banks or corporations deserve a bailout. The question isn’t whether we deserve to pay for services and benefits that we don’t personally benefit from. The question is whether any expenditure of our tax dollars provides the most benefit for the most amount of people. How do we collectively benefit from bailouts? How do we collectively benefit when others are provided with services and benefits? If we disagree then can we find something else that would benefit us all more?

The world of racism, xenophobia, sexism, homophobia, and every form of prejudice comes from the same source. That hatred all comes from the same source. It comes from a place of grievance. It comes from a mistaken belief that we live in a zero sum world where the stuff I deserve has somehow gone to someone else. It comes when I ignore the good fortune that I do have and instead guard whatever stuff I have with every inch of its life. It comes when I believe that someone else’s good fortune means I somehow must get less. The forces of evil do this to us. The forces of hate do this to us. We don’t need a conversion to a particular faith or creed. We need a conversion to gratitude. We need a conversion to the simple idea that we really don’t deserve anything, so we shouldn’t begrudge someone else getting a little help along the way.