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“Oh, alert the media,” says Juanita in that real sarcastic voice of hers this morning as she settles Verdelia in the chair for a quick wash, set and spray the hell out of hairdo this morning that’s guaranteed to last until Friday’s VFW dance.

Verdelia had brought Juanita an article about Sean Hannity and his charity work.  It was in Veteran’s Today and Verdelia’s newest boyfriend, the unpetite Robert T. “Hunker” Ratcliff is a veteran of the Army Air Corp, WWII, thank you very much.  The nicest thing that can be said about Hunker is that he doesn’t drool and generally knows where he is, which is more than can be said about Verdelia’s last boyfriend who Thelma contended was really a St. Bernard dog that could stand on hind legs, not a widow man as Thelma claimed.

Anyway, Hunker discovered that his former here-to-fore hero, the un-veteran Sean Hannity, was playing fun with monies raised for his veteran’s charity.

For the last several years, Sean Hannity and the Freedom Alliance “charity” have conducted “Freedom Concerts” across America. They’ve told you that they are raising money to pay for the college tuition of the children of fallen soldiers and to pay severely wounded war vets.  And on Friday Night, Hannity will be honored with an award for this “Outstanding Community Service by a Radio Talk Show Host” at Talkers Magazine’s  convention.

But it’s all a huge scam.

In fact, less than 20%–and in two recent years, less than 7% and 4%, respectively–of the money raised by Freedom Alliance went to these causes, while millions of dollars went to expenses, including consultants and apparently to ferry the Hannity posse of family and friends in high style

Hunker was a tad upset that Sean Hannity’s Freedom Concerts were really Sean Hannity’s Swanky Concerts.  He almost cried.  Mostly because he’s sent Sean money from his veteran’s disability check which he, too, could have used for something frivolous, like food and shelter.

Hunker says he’s going to hire “Fast” Johnnie T. Jackson over at the North Richmond Law Palace to sue Hannity for deceptive advertising.  But, Hunker’s so old that we don’t let him buy green bananas so I doubt he’ll live long enough for Fast Johnnie to get the paperwork filed.

Besides, if you could sue people for using money to enrich their lifestyle, you’d have to stand in line with a lawyer at Tom DeLay’s front door.

“Look, here’s the rule,” Juanita explains, “people who claim to be conservative are conservative with THEIR money; they are very liberal with YOUR money.  They are all shamelessly greedy people.  They are all snake oil salesmen, only they have less ethics.”

Juanita is not, I repeat, not shocked that a slimy guy like Sean Hannity would use veterans and their children to act all big britches.

“He’s just a little too prissy for my taste,” she says.

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