Y’all the revolutionary soldiers in Oregon have sent out another list of demands … uh, wish lists.

Just like the brave American men storming the beaches at Normandy and those taking Iwo Jima, these unflinching he-men are totally out of French Vanilla Creamer.

The horrors!  Revolution is hell, y’all.  Hannibal could not have crossed the Alps with his bath mats, shredded cheese, body wash, and Marlboro 100s Reds.

Dude, one thing; if you cannot shred your own damn cheese, you ain’t fierce.

And since both mayo and Miracle Whip are on the list, we see a division among the troops.

Yeehaw!

Texans can now open carry guns into Texas state mental hospitals.  Hell, child, even law enforcement checks their guns before they enter state mental hospitals.  Cops aren’t carrying in the hospital but Jim Bob and Rufus can go duck hunting out the windows of Ward D.

Visitors to one of Texas’ 10 state mental health hospitals will be allowed to openly carry weapons into the facilities, according to the Texas Department of State Health Services. Employees and patients will still be barred from bringing in weapons.

The majority of the patients in the hospitals are civilly-committed — not criminally — so most of the facilities don’t have armed security guards, though some do, said Mitchell, whose group monitors the state hospitals. Police officers entering the hospitals routinely do not bring in their firearms, she said.

Republicans claim that it is the duty of the state hospital to “ensure that the patients are not around dangerous weapons.”  Now how are the hospitals supposed to do that?  Chain gun toters to the entryway wall?

Hell, mental hospitals were the last refuge of safe places to be away from people with guns.

Check that off the list.

I am proud to announce that Texas is on the downturn from excellence in education.  Hell, we don’t need no damn education in this state.

Texas fell to the bottom fifth of U.S. states in an annual report on education quality.

Texas is now ranked 43rd in the nation, falling from 39th last year in the annual “Quality Counts” report from national education publication Education Week.

Look at our state legislature – dumber than bean dip but happier than a hog in slop.

And here’s why —

In school finance, Texas ranked 45th in the nation, earning a D grade based on per pupil spending, state spending as a percent of taxable resources and other factors.

That gives them more money to sue Obama, give their staff outrageous bonuses, and fight to keep fried food in school cafeterias.

Thanks to everybody who can read for the heads up.

It is scientifically provable that Republicans are happiest when they are talking about sparkin’. Apparently, they are against it. Doing it, they are against doing it. Talking about it all the damn time seems to okay.

The scientific community will be please that I have uncovered more evidence of The Theorem of Repressed Republican Ribaldry.

Missouri.

A Missouri lawmaker introduced a bill Wednesday that would require lobbyists to report “sexual relations” with state legislators as a “gift” in their disclosures to the state ethics commission.

“We’ve already got a lobbyist gift reporting requirement and so that’s how I worked it in there, by treating it as a definition of gift,” Rep. Bart Korman, a Republican from High Hill, told CNN on Thursday. “I hope it deters any of that activity, but that if activity does occur, it’s at least transparent.”

Korman knows this ain’t gonna happen. You cannot stop people from doing the wild thing, but that isn’t for lack of Republican efforts.

Korman just wanted to talk about sex.

In case you’re wondering about how one would go about reporting the “gift” of “sexual relations” …

In the new bill, “the reporting of sexual relations for purposes of this subdivision shall not require a dollar valuation.”

Well, there ya go. That’s why they don’t do it. It’s worthless.

Thanks to Sharon and Chloe for the heads up.

The dude who thought President Obama was going to invade Texas wants to re-write the Constitution and you can now openly carry a gun in a mental hospital.  Not if you’re an employee, only if you’re just visiting, which ought to make you feel just dandy.

It’s really not one step short of secession.  It’s actually one neuron synapse from total delusion.

Governor Abbott has himself a whole new constitution.

His big thing is allowing states to have more power. I’m kinda amazed that a Texan would say that.  Wyoming has a population of 584,000 and would have the same power as Texas with 25,000,000.

And I’m sure he doesn’t want to go by population because one glance at an electoral college map would scare the pants off him.

The only damn reason that Republicans have any power at all is because of gerrymandering.

But, y’all, admit it.  It’s kinda fun to watch old white men try desperately to hold onto power.

Thanks to every for the heads up.