Hey!  Louie is back!

You know the American sailors whose small boats strayed into Iran’s waters and Iran took them captive because that’s what you do if somebody’s in your waters.

And remember how they immediately said they would release the soldiers?

Well, in that three second, Louie Gohmert tried to declare nuclear war.

“When our Navy ships have problems, we don’t call Iran,” Gohmert blustered, “we call the rest of the Navy, we can call the Air Force, the Army, the Marines, the Coast Guard. We don’t call Iran!”

“For the Iranians to even issue a statement at all saying, ‘We are going to release them soon,’ tells you that they control whether or not they can leave,” he continued. “That situation should not be allowed to happen … We should demand that Iran let these people go, our Navy men or women, whatever they are, let them go or we’re going to start taking your ships out one at a time.”

I wonder what part of “we were in their waters” Louie doesn’t understand.

Louie gets up every morning determined to start an international incident.  He must be a helluva neighbor.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

I’m pretty sure that if you’re here, you know a thing or three about politics.

I’m pretty sure that you know Gov. Nikki Haley of South Carolina, who has some hoochy baggage of her own and was so far right that she turned down Medicaid money for her state, tried to become the voice of reason for the GOP last night.

As long as Ann Coulter can find a way to dance around the room in a black cocktail dress, Reasonable Republican will remain an oxymoron.

Ann exploded on Tweeter last night because apparently Nikki Haley loves terrorists.

She wants Donald Trump to deport Nikki Haley. Yeah, deport.

I do not know where Coulter wants Haley to be exiled.  Maybe drowning in a sea of peroxide?

There, of course, is more.

Oh yes, Ann Coulter, the Christian icon.

And more  …

No, Ann, not the voters.  Just you, Honey.

So, from 9:29 to 9:36 last night, Ann Coulter dropped a hate clip into her AK47 mouth.

Ya think maybe we’re looking at the next Mrs. Trump?

Y’all, Donald Trump has started playing Born In The USA at his rallies just to taunt Ted Cruz.

Since Ted has zero sense of humor, this will get a rise out of him.

Then Ted can start playing Whip My Hair at his rallies.

Next thing you know, we have Battle of the Songs, which is probably a helluva lot more intellectual than the GOP debates.

Ohio.  Ohio, people.  Nothing ever happens in Ohio except Presidential campaigns and the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

But there’s a 24 year old store clerk who is certainly trying to help bring fame to Ohio.

Investigators don’t expect to seek criminal charges against a man who shot his friend in the head, Lorain police said Monday.

Police ruled the shooting that took place Friday afternoon inside Rudy’s Market on West 23rd Street an accident.

Police said the 25-year-old clerk was sitting behind the register when he pulled out a .45-caliber pistol to show to a 24-year-old friend sitting next to him.

The clerk was handling the gun when it went off and a bullet struck his friend in the head.

Don’t roll your eyes.  They didn’t charge Dick Cheney either.

Rarely do I agree with Fox News and their polls.

Okay, never do I agree with Fox News and their polls, but at least this one is interesting.

If you asked women which one they’d rather have dinner and a movie with, 100% of women would say Clinton and 100% of bimbos would say Trump.

Former East Texas congressman and liberal hero Good Time Charlie Wilson used to say he chose his secretarial pool by their bust size,“You can teach ’em to type, but you can’t teach ’em how to grow tits.”  There wasn’t a liberal woman in Texas who wouldn’t vote for Charlie.  We knew his faults, he admitted to most of them, but he voted right every damn time and that’s what matters.

Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think Donald trump has any damn business judging another’s man morals.

The House Freedom Caucus is so far off to the right that you have to circle around left to see them.

Couple that with this week being the sixth anniversary of Tom DeLay being found guilty in Austin courtroom of money laundering and conspiracy.

And then add the cherry on top of recycling being a good thing, and you have —

Juanita Jean followers will remember Buckham as the “preacher” who was DeLay’s bagman.  He was the first to set up what would become SuperPacs.  He and DeLay schemed their plan out of a DeeCee townhouse, raising “secret money” from the Russian oil executives to influence DeLay’s vote on including Russia in the IMF bailout.

Buckram used some of that money to pay for a trip to London for DeLay and his family, including golf at St. Andrews.

Buckham pimped his influence over DeLay with The Alexander Strategy Group, a lobbying firm. The money rolled it and then DeLay got his cut.

He’s baaaaaaaack.

He laid low for 5 years and is now ready to make a comeback to the world high finance politics.

DeLay is still free and trying to make a comeback. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time.

Old political bagmen never really go away, they just slither through time.

Thanks to Chloe for the heads up.