First up, we have a guy who went to see the Benghazi movie.  Drunk.

I have been told that’s the only way you can watch the Benghazi movie.  It’s probably the law.

So here’s this guy drunk at the movies.  Wait, did I mention that he had a gun?  Because, you know, it was the Benghazi movie.

“We have witnesses that say he came into the theater and appeared intoxicated. He went in and took a seat in theater number nine and was fumbling with a pistol when it went off and struck someone sitting in front of him,” said David Leibman with the Renton Police Department.

Yep, he shot a 40 year old woman in the chest.  She is expected to live.

After shooting the woman, he headed to the exit door and got the hell out Dodge.

I’m pretty damn sure that Sarah Palin is going to blame this on Hillary Clinton.

And then in Sulphur Springs, Texas, where my own damn cousin lives, they have taken protecting God’s word pretty seriously.

Sulphur Springs police say a man accidentally shot himself in the foot Wednesday evening at a church.

Police said at about 6:30 p.m. Wednesday, officers responded to a shooting at the Davis Street Baptist Church in Sulphur Springs. Officers discovered a person, who was not identified, had accidentally discharged his pistol and shot himself in the foot.

The victim sustained a minor wound, and no one else was hurt.Police said the shooting happened in the church’s family life center.

Uh, maybe the family life center needs to rename itself.

Texas Senator Ted Cruz announced yesterday that he didn’t have health insurance because of Obamacare.

A day after, his campaign admitted that Cruz did indeed have health insurance.  He as just shifted from a PPO to an HMO.  An HMO is, in fact, insurance.

He just got confused.  Because, you know, stuff is confusing.

Obama invented confusion.

I know that Kansas is kinda cold in the winter but apparently not cold enough.

A Kansas Republican State Senator pitched himself a hissy fit about women “wearing skimpy skirts or blouses with plunging necklines” when they come testify before his committee.

Senator Mitch Holmes opines …

He offered more detailed guidance to women conferees because he had observed provocatively clad females at the Capitol. Revealing too much of the body during testimony to the Senate committee is a distraction, he said.

Holmes said he considered stipulating men had to wear suit and tie when addressing his Senate committee, but decided males didn’t need supplemental instruction on how to look professional.

Holmes, who is also known as Old Coot With Goggly Eyes, did not meet with much approval from the female legislators on either side of the aisle.

“Oh, for crying out loud, what century is this?” said Sen. Laura Kelly, a Topeka Democrat.

“Who’s going to define low-cut?” said Sen. Vicki Schmidt, R-Topeka. “Does it apply to senators?”

How many women are going to say to Mitch, “You ain’t the boss of me,” before he gets it?  And by “gets it” I mean shut the hell up.

Thanks to Claudia for the heads up.

The Transportation Security Administration released the top ten airports where gun are confiscated from carry-on luggage.

Texas wins.

Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport: 153
Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport: 144
Houston George Bush Intercontinental Airport: 100
Denver International Airport: 90
Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport: 73
Nashville International Airport: 59
Seattle-Tacoma International Airport: 59
Dallas Love Field Airport: 57
Austin-Bergstrom International Airport: 54
William P. Hobby Airport (Houston): 52

Good news: that’s a whole lot of guns off the street.

Thanks to Mel for the heads up.

No kidding, y’all, a new planet has been discovered.

No, no, wait. It was just Marco Rubio’s boots being hurled out of Florida.

Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen found us a sassy little Super PAC this morning.

It’s called Stop & Think, Inc. and offers no clue who they plan on supporting with their big Dallas dollars or who even hides behind the post office box where they receive their campaign donations and pornography.

Or so they think …

But if you look closely, you’ll see that there treasurer is a whole different can of worms.

That address comes back to an attorney at Clark Hill, PLC. –  the same law firm running all of Bush’s Right to Rise political committees.

So yeah, they named it very properly.  You need to Stop & Think before you send these guys any money.  They are a real piece of work.  And, they got pretty famous for out-and-out lying about Bush.

But most merry-making of all is that they have spent $39 million dollars of Republican money and can’t get Jeb! above 7%.

You know, whoever named Bush’s PAC “Right to Rise” which strongly insinuates that Bush has a birthright to the office, probably also came up with Stop & Think, which reminds you what a waste it would be to give him any more money.  Way to go, Vultures!

Thanks to Alfredo for the very cool heads up.