Oh y’all, Michelle Obama is the cream on the peaches.  Her speech was such a wonder (sweet and tart) last night that I can hardly wait to hear Melania repeat it.

I’ll up our starting line up against their starting line up any day of the week and give them North Dakota’s electoral votes head start.

Okay, so here’s how we know that the last Hispanic Republican event wasn’t a crowd pleaser.

First off, the people holding the signs aren’t Hispanics.  We know this because Hispanics can read Spanish.  They know that this ain’t a thing – Hispanics Para Trump.

Hispanics is an English word.  The proper Spanish word is Hispanos.

Even better, para means “for” but not that kind of for.  Para is used when you’re giving a gift or showing the use of something — example: You use scissors for cutting paper.

The correct term would be “por”.  Hispanics por Trump.  The only word they got right was Trump.  But, ya know, one out of three ain’t bad.

Then a CNN commentator and one of Trump’s people went all I’m So Damn Smart on Tim Kaine.

“What Mr. Trump did, he spoke in a language all Americans can understand ― that is English,” Hughes told CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer while praising the Republican presidential nominee.

“I didn’t have to get a translator for anything that was going on at the [Republican National Convention] this week,” she continued.

“I’m hoping I’m not going to have to start brushing up on my ‘Dora the Explorer’ to understand some of the speeches given this week,” she added, referencing the children’s cartoon that stars a child who can speak English and Spanish.

She later apologized on Twitter.  Too little, too late.

Who the hell does Debbie Wasserman Schultz think she is and why can’t I be who she thinks she is because that person can walk on damn water.

So DWS messed up big time.  In all honesty, she has been messing up little and medium time since the day she became head of the DNC in 2011.  The leaked emails made me so hot that Verdelia was scared that my sweat was gonna make me short-out.

She agreed to step down but she refuses to leave until after the convention.  Next thing I know Hillary hires her for the campaign.  What the dickens is that about?  She she going to be the net Secretary f State or something?

I wanna tell you something.  She has a primary opponent.  The Florida primary election is August 20th and she has a problem with her opponent – she won’t debate him.

His name is Tim Canova and he deserves a look.

Thanks to Bryan for the heads up.

Apparently Ivanka Trump is running for CEO of The White House Fashion Fashion Boutique.

Yeah, it’s at Macy’s for $138. and I’d be willing to bet that it’s made in China.

I’m at a ballgame.  You probably aren’t, so you might be interested in the fact that after they took away her speaking rights, Debbie Wassemann Schultz has resigned as chairman of the DNC.

How about Elizabeth Warren as the head of the DNC?

We were driving to Austin yesterday and right outside of east Austin is a place where folks set up shop to sell their peaches, watermelons, pecans, yard art, and flags to passing motorists.

I saw this this and made Ole Bubba turn around and go back so I could get a picture.

You might have to open this photo in a new tab to see it in its fully glory gory.

The side facing the road is 90% confederate flags.  Maybe one or two American flags, a Texas flag or two, and some Come and Get It banners.  And there proudly is the Donald J Trump roadside headquarters.  See the flag on the far right.  Yeah, far, far right.

This isn’t a run for the presidency – it’s a redneck self-help program.  Donald J Trump is gonna fix their lives.  Their wives will quit running around with the bartender over at the icehouse and come home to do the dishes and start cooking like a normal woman should.  Their bosses will quit complaining about them showing up for work hung over.  Donald J Trump will send a Mexican over to do their yard work for free.  He’ll make taxes a thing of the past and bail bonds will be totally free under a Trump administration.  The nasty guy at MasterCard will quit calling for payment and happily extend their credit because … well, they are white.  They will automatically be given a complimentary two ton Chevy truck every three years as their birthright.

Under a Donald J Trump presidency, political correctness is over and it becomes okay to make fun of retards, queers, ugly people, and people born with no legs.  However, small fingers will never be okay to mention.

You know how Trump taunts his enemies?  He will also do that for you.  He will come to your house and call your mother-in-law a loser.

Every day under a King Donald J Trump will be like a six hour erection and no emergency rooms.