This is directed to those of you who donated to the Texas Ballot by Mail program and those of you who want to help but weren’t able to donate.

We need help.

Studies have shown that the return rate almost doubles if reminder calls are made.  They are called chase calls.  We need to call every single Democrat who got an application and remind them to fill it out and mail it in.

We are using something called a Virtual Phone Bank.  You sign up to get an account, get a Code # from me which directs you to the correct list, read the directions, and start calling.  These will be fun calls.  People over 65 are a fun bunch of boomers.

You can do this in your jammies.  Hell, you can have a glass of wine.

This is easy, fun, and makes a real difference.

If you’re willing to give it a try, click on Tell Juanita and give me your email address, phone number, and what screen name you use (so I’ll know who to thank).

You can start today and call all day or whenever you have an extra 15 minutes.

Thank you, guys.  Let’s turn this damn state blue!

My friend Hazel

In the alternative, you can mail a little money or a check to Hazel Lundy, our phone banking godmother so she can hired people to do it.  She uses men and women on social security who need a little extra income.  They phone bank at her house under her supervision.  You’ve met Hazel before.  She’s better at sending out thank you notes than I am.

Democrats at Hazel Lundy
PO Box 785
Richmond, Texas 77406

She and her crew do the Lord’s work.  She pays $10 an hour and fixes their lunch.

You can donate online from the donate button at the top.  Bubba will make sure that Hazel gets it.

I’m pretty sure I’ve told y’all about GOPUSA, a Texas outfit that keeps me in the forefront all things Texas GOP and crazy as hell.

As expected, here are their thoughts on last night’s debate.

Well, admittedly, we was swinging.  He just wasn’t landing punches.

Read their whole story here and see if y’all watched the same debate.

Remember when Donald Trump promised us that he’s going to win so much that we’ll get tired of winning?  I guess that warranty ran out right after the Republican debates.

She beat him so badly that he has to unzip his pants to see out this morning.

She beat him so badly that Vladimir Putin had to put a shirt on to quit shivering.

I know everyone has a favorite moment.  Mine was when Trump was so bigly against the Iraq war that Sean Hannity was the only person he happened to mention it to.

Thank you, Secretary Clinton, for being stronger and smarter than 17 Republican men who tried to beat him.

Today’s winner of SuperPAC Fun is a PAC called Save America From Its Government.  If you suspect it’s not a Democratic PAC, you have a pretty good shot at being right.

Datwyler

The PAC was set up by Thomas Datwyler, and gives a Plano, Texas (think Dallas suburb) post office box. Datwyler works for a political consulting firm that is so white that they don’t even have to buy light bulbs. Datwyler used to be the comptroller for Marco Rubio’s campaign, and he runs several other GOP PACs because SuperPACs mean Super Duper Money. As far as we know, Datwyler has no connection to Plano, Texas.

In four days, the Save America From Its Government PAC spent $1 million on pro-Trump advertising.

Now all this is perfectly legal.  Everything is on the up and up.

But it gets real cute.

Beal

Enter Andy Beal. Andy Beal is an oilman who is often called, “The Richest Man in Dallas”. He was named to Trump’s economic advisory team after he gave Trump $100,000.  Andy Beal describes himself as a poker player and a banker.

The Beal Bank has a branch in Las Vegas, but is headquartered in, you guessed it! – Plano, Texas.  The Beal Bank is where Save America From It’s Government deposits all their money.  So, Mr. Beal the billionaire is making money off of Donald Trump.  Best part – it was meant to be a stealth PAC.

Thanks to my big time investigative journalism skills, I have discovered that it’s an 18 minute drive from the Save America From Its Government private mailbox in Plano to The Beal Bank in Plano.

That’s handy, ain’t it?

Bottom line:  If Andy Beal hadn’t used his own bank for the PAC’s campaign depository no one would be able to find out that he was behind it until the Super PAC files it’s first FEC report on October 15th – three weeks before the election.

And what can we learn from this?  Just because his breath smells like bananas don’t mean he’s Tarzan.  Sometimes he’s just bananas.

I am staying at home tonight to watch the debate with Bubba.  I might have trouble not cussing and I don’t have any friends who would not tell Momma.

I have invitations to debate parties for the other debates but this one – alone with Bubba.

UPDATE:  Sorry, I accidentally erased the update.  So, I’m starting over.

Just published:  $2.3 million in Trump tax evasion.  Thank you, Washington Post.

Oh, and there’s more ….

The Trump campaign filed a report with the FEC describing this dude as “retired.” Retired, my sweet patootie.  Russian oil executives don’t retire.  Making a false statement to the FEC is a violation of 18 U.S.C. § 1001.

Y’all, I would like to apologize for our Lt. Governor Dan Patrick being a damn fool.

Our legislative session starts in January every two years.  Tragically, 2017 is one of those years.  The Lt. Governor oversees the Texas Senate.

We have a few minor problems in Texas.  We are next to last in education. We are first in uninsured children. Our maternal death rate has doubled, making it twice what it is in Turkey and Chile. Our roads and bridges are crumbling. A quarter of Texas children live in poverty.

And what is Dan Patrick concerned about?

There ya go.  This man is burning rocket fuel to Crazyville.

You can write this on the barn with waterproof paint:  Dan Patrick thinks about sex waaaaay too much.