You’d think that Texas Lt. Governor Dan Patrick would be limping from the beating he took on national media for suggesting that fewer doors in a school would solve this shooting problem he have. The Onion tried to make that weirder but they couldn’t.

But, Lt. Dan was back on teevee yesterday, attempting to make himself look semi-sane.

He told George Stephanopoulos and the entire world that guns “are a part of who we are as a nation.”  Yeah, and ignorance, too.

Dan cherishes the 2nd amendment.  He quotes it wisely and freely.

“You know, talking about a ‘well run militia,’ our Second Amendment, teachers are part of that well run militia, by the way,” Patrick insisted, condescendingly.

Okay, so I am freaked enough thinking about teachers being a militia. Teachers don’t have a great history of properly using weapons.  Remember the time they were giving teachers shooting lessons and one of the shot the janitor?  Or the one who left it in the bathroom?

And … Dan’s sacred 2nd amendment does not say “well run militia.”  It says, for Pete’s sake – well regulated militia.

The word “regulated” is so obscene in Dan’s eyes, that he’s trying it erase it from the constitution.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

The Dallas Morning News will be served with egg on their faces for breakfast tomorrow morning.

They endorsed Republican Vickers “Vic” Cunningham who is currently running in a heated run-off for a seat on the Dallas County Commissioners Court.  A week of early voting is over and election day is Tuesday.

They just now retracted their endorsement.  They discovered that Cunningham has set up a living trust for his children that requires they marry a white Christian of the opposite gender.

“I strongly support traditional family values,” Cunningham said. “If you marry a person of the opposite sex that’s Caucasian, that’s Christian, they will get a distribution.”

What the hell do white Christians have to do wth family values?  Obviously, not much.

Additionally, Cunningham’s estranged brother, Bill, told this newspaper that his brother has used the n-word for years, a claim echoed by Amanda Tackett, a former D magazine writer who is close to Bill Cunningham and worked on Vickers Cunningham’s 2006 campaign for Dallas County district attorney,” the editorial added.

Now here’s the scary part.  This guy was a criminal district court judge.  Dallas is majority minority county. I think the Dallas Morning News needs to go back over his decisions to make sure his family values haven’t influenced his judgements.

And guys, it seems like you would have researched a little before you endorsed him.

Thanks to SGray for the heads up.

No comment needed.

Yeah, the Royal wedding was fun. I hope the Duchess of Sussex continues to bring the royal family into the real world.

I am weary.  School and church shootings in Texas are enough for one soul to bear, but when coupled with tone deaf and self serving politicians campaigning on the bodies of dead children, our hearts are shattered.

Within hours of yesterday’s shooting in Santa Fe, three Texas politicians showed up, wearing starched and ironed special para-military shirts straight out of central wardrobe, to bring us up to date on the news.

Once at the bank of the microphones in front of the high school, Governor Abbott gives the latest news and then takes a surprising turn saying that thoughts and prayer are not enough, we have to DO something.

And what action does he suggest to stop this?

I’m going to be working with members of the Texas Legislature, but also with members of our communities from across the state of Texas to begin with roundtable discussions beginning next week where we will assemble all stakeholders to begin to work immediately on swift solutions to prevent tragedies like this from ever happening again,” Abbott said.

Oh, we’re going to have a table and it shall be round.  Boy howdy, that’s some tough talk right there.  He’s going to invite people and I suspect donuts will be served.  And we will never hear from it again, and then they will give the NRA its table back.

Next comes Ted Cruz who says “remember me, y’all?” and then proceeds to give a speech devoid of meaning, compassion, or any plan whatsoever.  The man knows there is a target on his electoral butt he’s cowering in the corner just trying to smile nicely and not poop on himself in public.

And last in speaking order and intelligence, comes Lt. Gov Dan Patrick, who has the most power of any elective office in Texas. Dan’s the man with a plan.  Without a hint of irony, Dan says the solution is for schools not to have so many doors.

No, seriously, I’m not kidding.

Dan Patrick on Friday suggested the existence of “too many entrances and too many exits” in schools may lead to such shootings. “We have to look at the design of our schools moving forward and retrofitting schools that are already built… there are too many entrances and too many exits to our over 8,000 campuses in Texas. There aren’t enough people to put a guard at every entrance and exit…maybe we need to look at limiting the entrance and exits into our schools so that we can have law enforcement looking at the people coming in through one or two entrances.” He continued, saying, “We’re gonna have to be creative. We’re gonna have to think out of the box.”

No, Dan, get back in the box.  It’s odd to find a person in this day and age who has never participated in a fire drill.  Or one that doesn’t have even the basic understanding of geometry.

None of them – not even one – mentioned the word guns.

Ted Cruz took $360,727 from the NRA in 2016 and he has an A rating.

Both Abbott and Patrick have the endorsement of the NRA, who gives them both a 100% approval rating.

But, in their defense, they had real nice freshly ironed hunting shirts with their names embroidered on them. You know, in case they forgot.

It was the most bizarre and disgusting Larry, Curley, and Moe episode ever.

Santa Fe High School is located between me and Galveston.  I drive by it so often.

Local news at 9:00 am is reporting “multiple fatalities.”  The shooter is in custody.

A guy was just shown walking down the street in front of where the kids are being evacuated.  He was waving a large American flag and a pistol on his hip.  What is wrong with us?

Remember the New York lawyer who chewed out a worker for speaking Spanish?

I never spent $10 that felt so good.

Check it out.

Thanks to Kary for the heads up.