It think it makes Ted look more human.  I mean, who among hasn’t looked longingly at the face of Beto O’Rourke?

This is in today’s NY Times Opinion piece that is a conversation between Gail Collins and Bret Stephens, a semi-Republican.  It is the best description of Ted Cruz I have ever read.

Bret: Because he’s like a serpent covered in Vaseline. Because he treats the American people like two-bit suckers in 10-gallon hats. Because he sucks up to the guy who insulted his wife — by retweet, no less. Because of his phony piety and even phonier principles. Because I see him as the spiritual love child of the 1980s televangelist Jimmy Swaggart and Jack Nicholson’s character in “The Shining.” Because his ethics are purely situational. Because he makes Donald Trump look like a human being by comparison. Because “New York values.” Because his fellow politicians detest him, and that’s just among Republicans. Because he never got over being the smartest kid in eighth grade. Because he’s conniving enough to try to put one over you, but not perceptive enough to realize that you see right through him. Because he’s the type of man who would sell his family into slavery if that’s what it took to get elected. And that he would use said slavery as a sob story to get himself re-elected.

Otherwise, you might say I’m his No. 1 fan.

Amen.

Thanks to Jan for the heads up.

This week, both Miss Lindsey and Turtle Mitch have made a big damn deal over the idea that they are men of such honor and courage that they would never “ruin a man’s life” by rejecting him from a lifetime seat on the Supreme Damn Court for no good reason.

Please allow me to introduce them to Merrick Garland.

Sumbitches.

Let me ask another question. How damn impartial can a Supreme Court nominee be when he goes on Fox News – Fox News of all possible new outlets – to defend himself?

He worked on the Ken Starr investigation, and there’s a guy with a real sex problem, and then for George Dubya, who ought to be prison right now, and then he runs to Fox News to make himself the victim.  Yeah, we can trust this guy to be fair and impartial.

Well, why am I not surprised?

Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh defended himself on Fox News against the sexual assault allegations roiling his nomination by saying he was a virgin through high school and college.

He added that he did not have sex until “many years after” college.

How many?  I want to know how many.  Okay, 2 is a couple, 3 is a few, 4 is several, 5 is about medium, so how many is many.  Maybe the dude is still a Virgin.

The truth is that I do not believe a damn word out of this guy’s mouth. I seriously doubt that his name is Brett.

Y’all, there just has to be a joke in this situation about sacrificing a virgin, but I can’t find it.

The Washington Post says that Rod Rosenstein is going to the White House this morning to offer his resignation.

Rosenstein is poopie del pollo.  If he is serious about protecting the Mueller investigation, he would sit still and wait to be fired – just like Jeff Session is doing.

I’m hoping this is just more crap from Trump’s blabber, because if Rosenstein resigns before Mueller finishes his investigation, you can bet that Jared will be the new director of the FBI.

UPDATE:  No quitting, no firing, It’s just a normal day in America.  No crisis until Thursday.   Here ya go.

Okay, so there’s this new book coming out that explains …

In two hundred and twenty-four pages of extremely dry prose, with four appendixes of charts and graphs and fifty-four pages of footnotes, Jamieson makes a strong case that, in 2016, “Russian masterminds” pulled off a technological and political coup. Moreover, she concludes, the American media “inadvertently helped them achieve their goals.”

I spent the whole damn morning reading this article in the New Yorker.  Yeah, I read the whole thing and it scares the beejesus out of me.  I know the term “Russian masterminds” sounds like something you’d hear on shortwave radio, but damn, y’all, this is the science part of political science.

You might want to at least skim over it and see that the Russians didn’t have to hack the voter files.  They hacked voter minds.  And they did it the way we teach people to canvass voters. Nothing helps get out voters better than being contacted by someone people identify with or know personally.

Remember how weird it was when Mark Zuckerberg suddenly started touring the country and dropping hints that he’s running for president last summer?  Zuckerberg has the keys to the kingdom and is likely to have proof of any coordination between the White House and the Russians.  My theory: Zuckerberg knows how it works and had a sudden brief thought that he could get elected president by using Facebook.

I need to go read something funny because I am creeped-out by this.

UPDATE:

Okay, I found it.

It made me laugh.  Russian teevee is defending the size of Trump’s … uh, little hands.

More fun stuff here.