You know how Rudy Giuliani keeps going around saying that Trump will testify to Mueller’s grand jury over his dead body and I keep saying “Hey Tootles, that right there is a plan I can get behind”?

Well, here’s another one.

Louie.  Louie Gohmert.

During an interview with Fox News on Friday, Gohmert — a dedicated hype-man for President Trump — said the President should consider keeping Washington shutdown “until hell freezes over.”

Here’s the deal, first Louie goes to hell with an ice scraper and sends us back a message when it thaws.

Works for me.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

This is a pretty big deal.

The Christopher Steele dossier mentions a meeting between Michael Cohen (Trump’s lawyer) and the Russians     between late August or early September 2016 in Prague.   Trump and Cohen deny it and the Russians ain’t talking.  Such a meeting, had it happened, would be the billowing smoke of collusion.

Well, McClatchy is reporting that Cohen’s cell phone pinged off cell towers in Prague in the “late summer of 2016” at the height of the campaign.

Incidentally, no visa is necessary to travel between Germany and the Czech Republic.  And records of whether or not Cohen went to Germany around that time aren’t public. But the dope just could not resist making a phone call.

As more and more of the things in the Steel dossier turn out to be true, we may find out that Trumpp is withdrawing troops from Syria because of hookers and peeing.

Here’s some nice news.

The cable network, which media observers often portray as the liberal counterpart to the conservative Fox News, also finished ahead of its two main competitors in prime time for the fourth consecutive week.

And it boasted the most-watched program on cable news last week, “The Rachel Maddow Show,” which drew an average of 3.21 million viewers.

I love Rachel. I do. I started listening to her when she was on Air America radio.  I love her but Stephen Colbert’s imitation of Rachel is totally spot on.

We have a saying in the south and it goes like this.  In speaking about a woman with too many words, one says, “I just love her, but, Honey, she do carry on.”  There’s a compulsory small eye roll at the end.

To be honest I also like Brian Williams at 11:00 Texas time. I’m not a big fan of Chris Matthews because he makes me yell at the screen, “Shuddup and let the guest answer, Mr. I’m So Full Of Myself.”

And I just renewed my subscription to the Failing New York Times.

The NYT has it for a dollar a week right now for a full year.  It goes up after that but you can cancel.

So there, Trump. Ponder on that at Mara Lago.

Come to find out, Trump does not have bone spurs.  He lied about it so some other poor guy without a rich father had to go to Vietnam in his place.  According to the children of the doctor who said Trump had bone spurs, it is likely the doctor never saw Trump but did it as a favor to Trump’s father, who held the lease on his office.

And he lied about his his low draft number.

And there you have it – the birth of Lying Donald.

Y’all, Carter Page has filed a lawsuit against the Democratic National Committee.  By himself.  No, he’s not a lawyer but God bless that man, he plays one on the Trump Government Show.

You can see most of it here.

First, he alleges that the DNC has hurt him through “extreme civil rights abuses.”  None of these abuses are ever named or explained. That must be a closely held Page Top Secret Thingamajig.

He also believes that the Steele Dossier is part of a “racketeering enterprise.”

And there’s this:

Based on the defamatory information distributed and paid for by the Defendants, the [U.S. Government] waged an unprecedented, targeted, state-sponsored surveillance operation against Dr. Page. Given subsequent death threats and the intent of the Defendants, the outcome of the libel committed against Dr. Page clearly displays the requisite elements of the statutory definition of domestic terrorism

Dude, you are domestic terrorism. You can’t claim that the government is trying to killed you and then blame the DNC for it.  That’d be like somebody printing out all my articles, fashioning them into a club and then hitting you on the head with it. Ain’t my fault, Skippy.

However, he does get an A+ on the pure raw entertainment scale.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

I know this is going to come as no shock to you, but Acting Attorney General Matthew Whitaker lied on his resume about being an Academic All American.

He apparently flitted from job to job with a big fat lie on his resume.  He says he was named Academic All American while in college playing football at the University of Iowa.

Mr. Whitaker, who was a tight end on the Iowa team from 1990 to 1992, claimed to have been an Academic All-American in his biography on his former law firm’s website and on a résumé sent in 2014 to the chief executive of a now-closed patent-marketing firm, for which he sat on the advisory board. The résumé was included in documents released last month by the Federal Trade Commission.

Mr. Whitaker made the same claim in a 2010 application for an Iowa judgeship. A Justice Department press release, issued in 2009 when Mr. Whitaker left his post as U.S. Attorney in Iowa, said he had been “an academic All-American football player.”

So this isn’t like a typo.

Well, that would be nice had he won it. And I am certain that some University of Iowa football players qualified for it. However, Whitaker was not one of them.

Barb Kowal, a spokeswoman for the awarding organization, also known as CoSIDA, said the group has no record that Mr. Whitaker was ever an Academic All-American.

He won some lesser award, and before you snort-laugh, yes, there are laser “awards.”

I dunno, I think maybe lying with impunity is a job qualification in the Trump administration.