History will be made no matter who wins the presidency.

Harris, if elected, will be the first woman and the first person of South Asian descent to be elected president.

Trump, if elected, will be the first person elected president with a felony conviction (let alone, 34 of them).

The Ann Selzer poll reported in the Desmoines Register released last week that has Harris beating Trump by 3 percentage points in that state has really turned things on its ear. Not considered a swing state by any stretch of the imagination, the Iowa poll has sparked the notion that other traditionally conservative states might follow suit in a similar model. That this news hasn’t created a joyful “Whoop” among D’s is very probably a result of the PTSD that still afflicts Hillary’s 2016 voters. Myself included.

Former LA Dodger first baseman Steve Garvey will “strike out looking” as Adam “Shifty” Schiff effortlessly serves up fast balls and sliders in California’s Senate race. Texas Senator Cruz hopes to cruise to another victory, this time against former NFL linebacker and present US Congressman Colin Allred, who has chipped away at Cruz’s iHeartMedia-fed lead. If Allred has any chance at all to defeat “Cancun” Cruz, he will need a boost by Texas voters who align with the so-called “Iowa Effect.”

California could contribute the most congressional district flips per state (not fair because they have the most districts, but there it is). In CA-41, Will Rollins is neck and neck with 32-year veteran Ken Calvert (R) and is campaigning more aggressively than in the mid-term, where he lost by the least number of votes in decades. In CA CD-22, David Valadao (R) is duking it out with former State Assemblyman Rudy Salas in a toss-up that would elect a Hispanic to a Hispanic-dominated district that always sees victories by minority White Republican candidates because of low Hispanic turnout. Ditto for CA CD-13, another heavy ag area in the Central Valley, where John Duarte (R) is in a rematch with former Assemblyman Adam Gray, who lost to him by 564 votes in 2022.

Overall, I am expecting a Pro-Choice backlash that will upstage the flimsy one we saw in the midterm election in ’22. The horror stories circulating about women being denied care when their pregnancies “go south” (pun not intended) are being repeated, reviled and revisited. Years ago, I read Al Franken’s book “Lies, And The Lying Liars, Who Tell Them” from cover to cover. In a brief discussion of abortion rights, Franken predicted that if (and when) abortion rights are taken from American women, there will be righteous anger and backlash from both sides of the aisle as banning abortion is a political issue for less than a quarter of the electorate.

So now we’ll see…

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie one not voted yet?

While we are waiting to find out what the voters hath wrought in this latest election, I invite you to partake in this list of one- and two-liner jokes of the political kind. If you’ve heard any of these before, tough. I haven’t.

What’s the problem with political jokes?
They get elected president.

In what state was George Washington born?
Naked and crying, just like the rest of us.

Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!

How can you tell the difference between a president and an actor?
One leads the land, while the other lands the lead.

How are presidents like diapers?
They need to be changed regularly and for the same reason.

America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote.

What is the fastest way to get Trump to change a light bulb?
Tell him Obama installed it.

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
Senator.

The NSA: a government organization that actually listens to you!

I don’t approve of political jokes… I’ve seen too many of them get elected.

There’s a term for a president like Donald Trump, probably not a second, though.

How did Trump respond when he was asked how to deal with Hurricane Helene?
“Pay her the same as Stormy Daniels!”

What’s the difference between a platypus and George Washington?
One has a bill on his face, the other has his face on a bill.

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware?
Get in the boat!

Which rock group has four men who don’t sing?
Mount Rushmore

“Because it would be hilarious,” is probably not a good reason to elect someone to be President.

I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s Election Night.

How many congressmen does it take to fix a flat tire? None. They’re all afraid of inflation.

Why did Ted Cruz go to culinary school? To could learn how to cook the books.

We need to show compassion for the mentally ill without letting them run for President.

Why can’t Congress ever be vegan?
Because all the turkeys playing chicken in a beef over pork is pretty fishy.

If Con is the opposite of Pro, then is Congress the opposite of Progress?

The consensus in this election is that 100% of Americans think 50% of Americans have lost their minds.

I think when you look at the heart of MAGA you see a common thread through all of it. They feel discounted. They feel unheard. They feel like their feelings have taken a backseat to the feelings of others. That anger gets directed at so-called coastal elites and intellectuals. Those groups feel superior to the regular folks.

We’ve talked about what ends up happening with that anger and who it gets directed at. What’s funny in a not so funny way is how that gets turned around. A commenter on Facebook (I am keeping him anonymous out of respect) essentially said that he owns a business, so he knows what he’s talking about and I don’t because I don’t own a business. Pot? Meet kettle.

That’s the real ballgame here for conservatives. They love the electoral college. It allows them to condense the election from 50 states down to seven states where things are theoretically a toss up. As it stands, Donald Trump has very little chance of winning the popular vote.

The point is that when the electoral college was set up it was set up to prevent the masses from choosing the president. We may be nearly 250 years into the future, but we are still there as a practicality. The biggest difference between liberals and conservatives is who they want to choose who leads our country.

It is a feeling that they are somehow more valuable than you and me. They are more successful and therefore more valuable. If you look at our overarching economic policy since 1980 it is an overwhelming belief that so-called job creators are more valuable than those performing the jobs. This is why we are busting unions. This is why wages for workers have stagnated while wages for CEOs and captains of industry have gone through the roof.

In that world, those that are “successful” see their vote and voice as more valuable than anyone else’s. Imagine the hubris of a businessman thinking their opinion on education policy being more valuable and more informed than an educator’s. Imagine that same businessman thinking their opinion on health care reform, national defense, science policy, or the criminal justice system being more valuable than people working in those industries.

Business people might be experts in their area of business, but they rarely have a wealth of knowledge outside of that immediate area. This immediately becomes important when we are talking about issues of race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, and gender equality. It’s not that we don’t get an opinion. It is that those opinions aren’t worth as much as someone that has lived that experience.

Where we make out mistake is assuming that we know more than others because of our status. I have more education than most, but that doesn’t make me an expert across the board. Someone can be in business, but that’s a fairly narrow focus. I might feel my opinion is more informed than someone else’s, but they still get their opinion and they still get their vote.

If Kamala Harris wins then job one and maybe the only job is moving us forward to wear the idea of a “swing state” is a thing of the past. Who gets the most votes? That’s the only question that should matter. I don’t care if you are a businessman or a minimum wage employee. Your vote should count the same. That is the way democracies work.

Well, then let’s have a short review before the Final which will be True/False and Multiple Choice.

In a former life, I used to pound the pavement, knocking on doors on hot sultry Texas afternoons with a voter list prepared by our local paid political hack … er … political consultant. The list guaranteed that we would not be “preaching to the choir,” nor would we be talking to people who were “unavailable to persuasion.” In other words, no “triple D Democrats” and no voters from the Dark Side.

It kept you on your toes.

On one memorable occasion, I knocked on a door that was opened by a big burly gentleman with no neck to speak of, and I asked to talk to his wife, whose name was on my list – but not his. He took one look at my lapel regalia – aka campaign buttons – and asked why I wanted to talk to her.

I immediately saw my mistake and told him that I had the wrong address.

“I think you DO,” he answered to my retreating back.

I might have blown his wife’s cover as a closet Democrat anyway, and for that, I was and am truly sorry.

But this year, women as closet Democrats have their own campaign spokesperson: Julia Roberts. 

“In the one place in America where women still have a right to choose, you can vote any way you want, and no one will ever know,” she says, in a recently released TV ad.

It’s a secret ballot. You can vote for anyone and anything, and the old man doesn’t need to know about it.
This naturally unleashed a furious male MAGA backlash. How dare they tell women to lie to their husbands! Encouraging infidelity is not strictly OK.

The icing on the cake is who chose to loudly object: Newt Gingrich.

Newt, you will recall, has had a checkered past vis-a-vis his marriages.

Three of them.

But that didn’t stop ol’ Newt from saying this:

“For them to tell people to lie is just one further example of the depth of their corruption. How do you run a country where you’re walking around saying ‘wives should lie to their husbands, husbands should lie to their wives’?” 

Indeed.

Gingrich divorced his first wife after her cancer surgery and his second wife while having an affair with his soon-to-be third wife, Callista.

Having the cojones to criticize Democrats for suggesting that wives should lie to their husbands about who they voted for, when he himself felt the need to lie to his wives to cover his infidelities is a little rich.

But to Newt, it’s just another day in politics.