I honestly thought this was an April Fool’s gag. These GOP guys, they are such jokers. So I did some research. The bill was filed FRIDAY, so either they got their dates wrong, or they are even more delusional than we thought. Among all the critical things they should be acting on, like, aid to Ukraine, Gaza and, you know, stuff overflowing on the back burner,  Rep. Guy Reschentaler (R-PA) and his six co-sponsors are asking Congress to change the name of Washington Dulles International Airport to….wait for it….Donald J. Trump International Airport. The six geniuses with this burning issue keeping them awake at night include the local Ft. Bend zero Rep. Troy E. Nehls,  Reps. Andrew Ogles and Chuck Fleishmann (TN), Paul Gosar (AZ) and Michael Waltz (FL). You know there had to be a Florida Man in this band. We are living in an April Fools Groundhog Day movie. And the hits just keep on coming.

Remember a while back when I mentioned Alfredo’s note about Podcaster Ted Cruz? Well, it gets better (or worse, depending on your point of view).

When we left off, I mentioned how iHeartMedia sent $214,752.98 to Cruz’s SuperPAC, Truth and Courage PAC last February, and how it was the senator’s cut from advertising during their airing of his 3-per-week podcasts. Well, things got said and all of a sudden iHeartMedia has assured the complaining watchdog group, The Campaign Legal Center, that this money has absolutely nothing to do with the media group’s business relationship with Ted Cruz or with his “Verdict With Ted Cruz” podcast.

But as mentioned in this online radio news source, Inside Radio, iHeartMedia has denied that this is “digital revenue,” explaining that this was a simple contribution to the PAC.

There was no Quid, no Pro, and no frickkin’  Quo.

My question is simple: couldn’t they have rounded the donation up to $215,000? And what’s with the 98 cents?

The CLC’s question is perhaps a little more to the point: how is this contribution to the Super PAC in any way legal because iHeartMedia is a federal contractor? According to the Federal Election Act of 1971, a federal contractor is barred from making contributions to SuperPACs.

So it’s not compensation for Cruz, because Cruz donates his time. On the other hand, the donation is illegal because federal contractors cannot make them.

And this is year 2 of the arrangement. In 2023, iHeartMedia “donated” $630,850 American to Cruz’s PAC that Ted Cruz also did not solicit.

Well, that’s good. $5,000 is the contribution limit for solicited donations. Good thing he didn’t ask for it, or he’d be in REAL trouble – like iHeartMedia appears to be in now.

Just a couple of Fake News stories on this holy day to Christians (and Catholics, separated out by TFG’s campaign spokesperson). The egg art drama is one thing, ho hum, but the better is the OUTRAGE that Joe Biden would rise up to proclaim Easter Sunday as Trans Visibility Day. The enlightened followers of Fox, Newsmax and TFG are all abuzz, but seem to be missing critical facts. Such as, Trans Visibility Day was designated in 2009. It was not Easter, however, most of us know that Easter Sunday moves around. We seemed to have gotten through 2013 okay when the two coincided. Good thing we don’t have to worry about it again until 2084.

For giggles, I checked out a website that lists all holidays on a date. You might be surprised to know March 31 is also:

National Crayon Day, Cesar Chavez Day, National Baked Ham with Pineapple Day, Dance Marathon Day, Hug a Medievalist Day, National Farm Workers Day, National Tater Day (!), Bunsen Burner Day (for you lab rats out there), She’s Funny That Way Day (honoring funny ladies), and my favorite Clams on the Half Shell Day. Who knew?

So enjoy your Ham with Pineapple, Happy March 31st!

So, just a programming note for those that regularly read this section. I am working with one good eye and have surgery planned in about a week. I mention that only to mention that I know there are grammatical errors and typos that are passing through. I literally cannot see them. I catch a few with the squiggly red lines, but some will get missed.

I am a fairly dedicated Catholic, but this is the first year I have participated in a Holy Thursday mass. Our parish actually has a tradition where the priest washes the feet of twelve regular church members that represent different eras of ministry and/or leadership. I was honored to be one of them this year.

Sacred scripture mentions Jesus washing the feet of his disciples before the last supper. The idea is that anyone that wants to exalt themselves will be humbled and anyone that humbles themselves will be exalted. I’m quite certain I’ve read that somewhere, but us Catholics have been accused of not knowing their Bible.

The triduum includes Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and the Easter vigil. The theme of threes continues as we see Jesus demonstrating love, humility, and service all at the same time. I couldn’t help but think of the current state of affairs in the presidential election.

Humanity is an imperfect thing. Everyone has at least one significant character flaw and Joe Biden is no different. This is often when we separate politicans and political stances with the actual quality of the person. George W. Bush did some very questionable things and that is probably putting it mildly. The same could be said about Barack Obama.

My regular readers know this already. This is more for those stumbling to this for the first time. Forget policy and ideology. I defy any of them to name one positive quality that Donald Trump possesses. You can’t. He’s not honest. He’s not humble. He’s not faithful. He’s not kind. He’s not giving or generous. He’s not just. He’s not wise or intelligent. He is not compassionate or empathetic. He’s not courageous or selfless.

Setting aside politics, I could identify some of those qualities in every president in our history. Even then ones we might decry as ineffective, corrupt, or both have some of these qualities. It can be difficult to separate the man from what the man does. Sometimes we aren’t meant to, but Bush II had a genuine conversion experience. He was faithful and on balance a good man outside the political arena.

The exact same things could be said of Barack Obama. It is not a coincidence that the Bushes and Obamas got along so well after both left office. I can’t imagine any past president spending any time with Trump willingly. There is certainly an importance in what people believe and what values they bring to the party. There is also an importance in whether any particular candidate is a good and honest person when you ask them to make a crucial decision under pressure.

Politicians have made a lot of hay around the so-called 3 AM phone call question. Yes, the Biden team has an issue here with their candidate being even slightly off his game. I just don’t see how anyone can feel comfortable with Trump on the other end. I’m just not seeing it. I don’t get it. Maybe a Trump voter can come in and explain it to me.

It was P.T. Barnum that said that a sucker was born every minute. I’m not going to question what people spend their money on. Goodness knows I’ve bought some useless crap over the years. I’ve been snookered by marketing gimmicks and charlatans just like anyone else. So, if someone is going to throw down 60 bucks on the Trump Bible then Godspeed.

Advertising has always been a somewhat unsavory business where facts and slight of hand are married in a shotgun ceremony. Just this week I noticed that Appleby’s is bragging that their boneless wings won a national taste test including a restaurant with wings in its name. Number one, aren’t boneless wings just chicken nuggets? Secondly, you have to know it was a blind taste test between Appleby’s, Bennigan’s, and TGI Fridays. Congratulations.

So, when I saw Trump selling his own Bible it didn’t surprise me. The fact that he was partnering with someone like Lee Greenwood didn’t surprise me. The only thing that surprised me about the whole deal is that Lee Greenwood is still alive. I could have sworn he died in obscurity when his shitty patriotic porn finally fell out of favor. Everything old is new again.

This isn’t new ground. My parents used to regale me with stories about the radio station that drowned out the locals at night. They would have a variety of shows and one that sold religious artifacts. It included things like the John the Baptist soap on a rope and autographed pictures of Jesus. No, what Trump is doing it not new and not novel.

I suppose in a way he isn’t even the worst one. Televangelists bilk their followers for thousands of dollars and it is usually thousands they can’t afford to give away. So, who knows where on the pantheon of sleeve these Bibles would rate. It is more pathetic than anything else. Add it to his action figures, shoes, and all of the other crap he peddles and it’s just sad.

I’m more and more convinced that Trump is nothing more than a thought experiment. How far are we willing to go before we either put him in jail or tell him to go away? When will the Republican party say enough is enough? Will they ever say it? What will the last straw be for people in MAGA nation? It’s not even certain that there will be an end.

Trump outrage is its own cottage industry. You have to know that networks like MSNBC, CNN, the Young Turks, and other similar networks secretly love this. They are rolling in ratings and advertising dollars. Every tweet, every insane rant, every trial development gets covered in breathtaking immediacy. It’s all breaking news. It’s all developing news. It’s all the most important thing that’s ever happened in the history of the world.

Let’s consider what we know. We know he has always failed at business. We know he is the most frequent litigant in the history of the country. We know he has committed countless amounts of fraud. We know he is guilty of how many counts of sexual misconduct. We know he is addlebrained and unfit any position of leadership. We’ve seen it first hand.

It’s not funny anymore. When we went through those first four years it ceased to be funny. It’s time for him to exit stage left. If need be, maybe we can use one of those old Vaudeville hooks to yank him offstage. Maybe he can have his own channel where he can sell his shitty shoes, overpriced Bibles, and can run infomercials with Lee Greenwood, Jon Voigt, and Kid Rock for 24 hours. Then, at least I could avoid it by simply not turning on that channel. I’m out.