Thanks to Kary for the heads up.

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Apparently his lying gets worse around business leaders.

On Tuesday, President Trump hosted a call with business leaders to discuss efforts to provide financial relief to small businesses. During that call, he made an astounding claim: that his daughter Ivanka personally created 15 million jobs.

And he claims she created one million of them in the month before Coronavirus.

Okay, let’s do some arithmetic. There are 152 million people who work in the United States. So, Ivanka created 10% of all the jobs in America.

Damn, that woman buys a lot of shoes. Or something.

Walk out your front door and look up and down your street – you probably see maybe 20 people on your street. Two of them were created by Ivanka. I hope it’s not yours, cause if it is, you’re a small child in China.

Pence better pray to his selfish and judgmental God that it’s not an IQ test.

Vice President Mike Pence’s office has declined to allow the nation’s top health officials to appear on CNN in recent days and discuss the coronavirus pandemic killing thousands of Americans, in an attempt to pressure the network into carrying the White House’s lengthy daily briefings in full.

When did this become okay?

I think we should give CNN exclusive coverage of Mike Pence for a month after Trump dumps him from the ticket.

I have noticed that Trump is a man of few words.  I mean, he talks a whole lot but he only knows a few words.

If he likes something, it’s beautiful. Beautiful piece of cake, beautiful bombs, beautiful letters … things he likes are beautiful.  Things he does not like are nasty. Nasty questions, nasty reporters, nasty signs, nasty voters, you get the picture. Beautiful and nasty are the only adjectives he knows.

It’s the nasty that bothers me.

Think hard. I’m serious now. Can you think of anything nastier than Trump in person.  I mean, that tie scotched taped on the back. Okay, maybe that’s not nasty as much as it is stoopid looking.

The hair. Nasty. Those swept back wings on the side – nasty. Look, I’m no expert on hair, but … no wait, I, in fact am an expert on hair and I have a diploma and license to prove it. The wings are held back with duck fat. That’s why he smells … nasty.

The pompadour hair-do. God only knows what nasty crap he puts on his hair to make it stand up like that.

Stormy Daniels. Look, I don’t care how much you like her, she’s still nasty.  She tried to extort him.

The elevator shoes that make him constantly look like he’s walking downhill.

I will be a happy woman when one of the reporters says back to him, “Sir, you are the nastiest man to ever occupy this office.”

I just needed to say that.

Deep in Baton Rouge, Pastor Tony Spell of the Life Tabernacle Church, has treaded softly among the sassafrass and found his spiritual calling: to get everybody killed in the name of Jesus.

Yesterday he said that “if his church members die from coronavirus, they’ve done so in the name of religious freedom.” Out loud. He did.

Speaking to TMZ, Spell said that true Christians would be willing to die from coronavirus, adding that those who “prefer tyranny over freedom do not deserve freedom.”

Oh, but he wasn’t finished yet.

“The bible teaches us to be absent from our bodies so we can be present with the Lord,” Spell said. “So like any revolutionary, or like any zealot, or like any pure religious person, death looks to them like a welcomed friend.”

Also like any drunk, member of alQaeda, or insane person, but we don’t want them to have machine guns. The church people can cough on the produce section of farmer’s market and wipeout a zip code.

Now, if they’ll just leave the children outside and lock themselves inside the church together until this is over, that’ll be just fine with me.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.