I’m Not Saying This Is A Good Thing To Do. It Is, However, A Thing To Do.

April 08, 2020 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Deep in Baton Rouge, Pastor Tony Spell of the Life Tabernacle Church, has treaded softly among the sassafrass and found his spiritual calling: to get everybody killed in the name of Jesus.

Yesterday he said that “if his church members die from coronavirus, they’ve done so in the name of religious freedom.” Out loud. He did.

Speaking to TMZ, Spell said that true Christians would be willing to die from coronavirus, adding that those who “prefer tyranny over freedom do not deserve freedom.”

Oh, but he wasn’t finished yet.

“The bible teaches us to be absent from our bodies so we can be present with the Lord,” Spell said. “So like any revolutionary, or like any zealot, or like any pure religious person, death looks to them like a welcomed friend.”

Also like any drunk, member of alQaeda, or insane person, but we don’t want them to have machine guns. The church people can cough on the produce section of farmer’s market and wipeout a zip code.

Now, if they’ll just leave the children outside and lock themselves inside the church together until this is over, that’ll be just fine with me.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “I’m Not Saying This Is A Good Thing To Do. It Is, However, A Thing To Do.”


  1. slipstream says:

    Here’s a more accurate name for his church:

    The Slow Suffocating Death Tabernacle Church.

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  2. Didn’t Jesus heal the blind?
    Not kill them?

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  3. I think he should be the example to his church and inhale deeply while surrounded by all of his congregants.

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  4. Jane & PKM says:

    Thank you for that reminder, Ms. Juanita Jean Herownself. Meant to write NV Gov Steve Sisolak which will be followed up with a call a few days later. Writing him an e-mail requesting until the covidiot followers of Covidiot* 45 and these end-of-times Opus Dopey, Dominionist and other assorted whack jobs for the prosperity gospel get their soap together, when our state is ready to re-open “they” are not invited. Conditions of quarantine, display of shot records including rabies, and other documents notwithstanding, when the casinos and hotels open I want ID proof and stricter controls on their admittance to this state than red states would demand of a black female transgender poor person with every “other” checked box checked from another planet simply to vote. IQ and sanity tests, not off the table. Not willing to repeat and rinse with another lockdown to protect one thin soapy dime of Shelly Adelson’s ill gotten gains.

    “Now, if they’ll just leave the children outside and lock themselves inside the church together until this is over, that’ll be just fine with me.” You’re too nice, Ms. Juanita Jean Herownself. Correct you are about the children. But I am in no mood to wait for them to lock the door, when we have a National Guard to do that for them and keep them quarantined until hell freezes over or this pandemic is truly over.

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  5. twocrows says:

    So this guy is taking the whole “Things are better on the Other Side” message to extremes, is he?

    Breaking news: It’s perfectly fine for a person to make that decision for oneself but it is NOT OK to make that choice for anyone else. Ever.

    So, Rev. Spell, do YOU want to get on with it? Go ahead. But karma has a very efficient way of dealing with those who take others with them. And you won’t like it.

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  6. Jane & PKM says:

    Ms. Juanita Jean Herownself and members of the WMDBS we’ll be happy to extend the NV red carpet to y’all. Bring your voter registration for VIP treatment, and for the small fee of slipping me notice of any Republicons criminals posing on ballots anywhere as Democrats the NV State Police will give you a warm welcome and escort to your destination, or Steve’s personal helicopter. Steve and I have an ‘agreement’ of sorts. If he keeps his end of the bargain and wants a second term, I won’t start an education campaign to teach voters how to spell Giunchigliani; or simply have her on the next ballot as Chris G.

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  7. charles phillips says:

    Something to remember: Jesus healed the sick, not the stupid. If you’re really, really stupid, no amount of healing will help.

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  8. He is always welcome to self-rapture.

    And I am reminded that the god he demands his followers worship is a very small god indeed if he can only be found within the walls of a single church.

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  9. Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.

    Blaise Pascale

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  10. Grandma Ada says:

    I was at HEB this morning, looking like some type of ridiculous burglar, and saw a woman, no mask or gloves, pawing over the apples. I’ve only been buying produce that is inside a container, and I’m so glad I made that decision. I can’t think of anyone, minister, friend or family, that could convince me not to take precautions.

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  11. Jeez, another black eye for christian extremism. At least alQaeda offers you 40 Virgins or a Maytag washer (if your female) when you die for the cult. Theses guys want you to croak for some white robe, hippie looking guy, who you just KNOW drives a Volkswagen bus.

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  12. The Surly Professor says:

    Yesterday I saw in the news that one of these idiots in California was also insisting that he would keep his church doors open, with the usual “religous freedom” crap.

    His congregation arrived to find that landlord who owned the property had changed the locks and locked them out.

    Reminds me of the guy who figured out what was causing cholera in London in the 1800s … who solved the problem by removing the handle from the water pump at the center of the infection.

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  13. Elizabeth Moon says:

    If someone wants to die for their religion, I have no objection. If someone wants to kill or harm others for their religion, I consider that terrorism and thus justifies stopping them in their tracks by any means possible.

    I do think said pastor missed the verse where Jesus said “Don’t make a show of your religion,” and so I’m inclined to think his faith is not Christianity but “Southern Power Politics.”

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  14. I think we’re in a situation where magas have bought everything trump’s sold them, more and more outrageous, evil, and immoral for so long that to admit to themselves or anybody else that any of it is wrong is unimaginable. The sheer enormity of the truth would crush them. So the only thing left for them is double down. Repeatedly. “It’s all in God’s hands”. No worries. Nothing bad ever came about from a country who thought their ultra-nationalist leader was divinely inspired.

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  15. Old Fart says:

    And now for something completely…

    Just to prepare y’all: The time is coming when GOPs and the flying @$$monkeys will be shrieking “You said we had to do all these extreme things including shutting down the economy! And look, it isn’t anywhere near as bad as you people said it was supposed to be!”. Because we *did* the “extreme things”, and it *worked*.

    *This time*.

    And we have *many* times to come till the certified vaccine/treatment arrives. Will proving a negative (Millions could die if the spread of the virus is unchecked) become a millstone around the necks of progressives? Sure as whack jobs purposefully sneezing on the produce, it’s coming

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  16. He sounds like the Rev. Jim Jones, only minus the Kool-aid.

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  17. Harry Eagar says:

    Nothing novel here except the virus. These death cultists pray for Armageddon now.

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  18. This pandemic, to the Evangelicals, is just what they were praying for. The “Rapture” is coming. They will say t Rump certainly was sent by God to bring about the end of days. I am so sick of these people.

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  19. That communion wine he serves? It’s actually grape Kool-Aid.

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  20. Malarkey says:

    Sweet Jesus, please come again and straighten these folks out!

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  21. Oldymoldy says:

    “if his church members die from coronavirus, they’ve done so in the name of religious freedom.”

    Sure, why not? No doubt they are all as generous with their lives as he is!

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  22. Old Fart says:

    Does anyone know if Easter Sunday is the day that churches have the largest income of the year? Or is it Christmas?

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