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With House Republicans focused on what two-word phrases they could shout at Democrats, we pulled a fast one on them.

Legislation hailed by supporters as the most significant change to college student lending in a generation passed the House on Sunday night.

The student aid initiative, which House Democrats attached to their final amendments to the health-care bill, would overhaul the student loan industry, eliminating a $60 billion program that supports private student loans with federal subsidies and replacing it with government lending to students. The House amendments will now go to the Senate.

By ending the subsidies and effectively eliminating the middleman, the student loan bill would generate $61 billion in savings over 10 years, according to the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office.

Thank you, House Democrats, for standing guard all day yesterday.

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Brian just gave me the best news of the day.

You know the crazy maniac who shouted “Baby Killer!” at Bart Stupak?

Abilene’s own Randy Neugebauer, of The Yachting Neugebauers Fame.

Dandy Randy used campaign funds to buy himself a yacht, which is kinda odd being as how Abilene  is in the middle of the desert.  I doubt he was planning on Noah’s flood because he docked that yacht, and a swanky one it is, in Washington Dee Cee.

Abilene, Texas, houses Dyes Air Force Base, where I have seen Airmen living in substandard housing, while Randy let lobbyists buy him a stinkin’ yacht.

I ain’t telling Juanita today.  I’m going to tell her tomorrow after we’ve already packed her pick-up for a road trip.  We’re going to include  little “Cap’n Randy is a Jerk!” sailor caps for her to give away.

Cap’n Randy, of the USS Little Winkie, says he shouted Baby Killer in the heat of the moment.  Honey, there’s no telling what Juanita will shout when she gets heated.

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Tomorrow, in honor of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, the owners, staff, and customers of The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc., have voted to wear our ta-tas a little higher and prouder.

Nancy Pelosi will go down in history as one of the greatest House speakers in America.

“I watched the whole debate and the Republicans looked like they were eaten by a goat and puked over a cliff,” Juanita observes.  “I’ve never seen people that distressed over something good happening since …. well, Barack Obama was elected.  I’d rather eat a coil of barbed wire than listen to them whine and lie one more day.”

“God bless America and God bless the Democratic Party for caring about America.”

“And P.S. – Chet Edwards can eat Buck Pochek’s shorts.  That’s one blue dog who got rabies and didn’t want health care to get well.  That’s why he’s still foaming at the mouth.”

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Juanita and her buddy Bob live within spitting distance of the Parish Coal Burning Power Plant.  Both of them fret about.  Bob, because he has kids.  Juanita because she’s become unnecessarily addicted to breathing, eating, and water.

We got this report today that the parish Plant was plenty proud of itself because it lowered its mercury spew to a ton a year.

“They will not let me buy even one small glass thermometer with, like, maybe a tenth of half of an ounce of mercury in it,” Juanita says, “but I could probably go outside with a cup and get a half a pound in an afternoon.”

“The downside is that we’re all sick.  The upside is that we can rent our kids out as thermometers, which, shockingly, is not as profitable as you’d suspect.  It is fun in the summer, though, to watch the little red line move up their bodies as the day heat of the day progresses.”

By the way, the owners of the Parish Plant live in New Jersey.  New Jersey.  You cannot get further away than that.

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I’m not saying that the Teabaggers are using rocket fuel in a coal oil lamp, but damn, son, they have become wild and crazy with the health care bill looking like a sure thing.

“I’m not saying that we should hit the panic button,” Juanita says, “But I do believe it’s time to have one installed.  I get a mouthful of my own heart when I realize how hateful they are.  It’s seat squirming time.”

“Hell, Hon, even Thelma says they got a cog loose and she’s kinda the local expert of loose cogs, having dated most of them.”

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All over Texas this morning, Democratic county and senatorial conventions met to elect delegates to the Texas State Democratic Convention in June in Corpus Christi.  Juanita was the temporary secretary for her convention, so she was been swamped for the past three days getting all the paperwork ready.  She was delighted to turn over the convention paperwork to the new secretary and start having a life again.

The convention is over and, of course, Juanita and the gang are all going to the State convention.  Juanita’s senatorial district is one of the easiest to work with in the county, contrary to whatever wild story the “real” bloggers make up this time.  “I stay clear of the real bloggers,” Juanita warns, “because there’s a Texas adage that goes – never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any damn direction.”

“We were sweeter than a grandmother’s kiss, elected all our delegates, passed all our resolutions, ate all the muffins and brownies as was our duty and finished before our sister convention in Sugar Land even got started,” Juanita reports.  “All the candidates came by and took a round of applause.  Here’s a picture of our new state representative, Ron Reynolds.  Ron has no Republican opponent in November but he’s not sitting as home biding his time.  He’s helping other Democrats.”

“Our spiffy new County Chair was there and riled up the crowd.  He’s running on a full tank and has a map.  We’re gonna get the blue promised land this November or my name ain’t Juanita.”

“I am going to the State Convention with 68 of my closest friends and the best folks around.”

Juanita is headed to Carl Whitmarsh’s birthday party this afternoon and then will get caught up on what’s happening at the other meetings.

UPDATE:  Carl Whitmarsh’s birthday was more fun than recess in heaven.  If you missed it this year, do not make that mistake again.  Everybody who is anybody was there!

And, Fort Bend’s SD13 went great and so did SD17 once they got rid of the Last Of The Crazy Ole Wimmen.  However, from 9:00 until 3:00, the L.O.T.C.O.W.  ran the meeting with an iron fist without allowing for food or breaks.  Hell, I think that violates the Geneva Convention, where even bread and water is allowed to prisoners.  They voted her out, got down to business instead of ego and got themselves a dandy delegation.

Our local candidates made the rounds and shined.

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