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Okay, so you’re not going to believe this, but Juanita can prove it.

You remember Randy Neugebauer, of the Texas Desert Yachting Club fame, and hollering Baby Killer fame, and exploiting Liberty fame?

Well, he wants to be s-e-x-y.

And he is willing to pay for it.  He’s willing to pay even more than the RNC did at a kinky club in Los Angeles.  That’s pretty desperate.

In his latest filing with the FEC, Randy fesses up to hiring Talent Revolution of Brookville, Ohio.  He paid them $2,146.03 genuine cash American money from his lobbyist built campaign account for “Strategic Campaign Consulting.”

And what, you may ask, is Talent Revolution and what are they revolving about?

From their website —

Amanda Hite, CEO and Founder of Talent Revolution, Inc, is a Change Agent who’s bringing sexy back to corporate thinking and people performance.

“Honey, Honey, Randy Neugebauer sexy.  Nope.  Not happening.  Hopeless.  I’m pretty damn sure about this.”  Juanita tells everyone.

“However,” she adds with a grin, “it might be worth every penny of that money for the good Southern Baptist folks in Lubbock and Abilene  to find out that Randy’s new guru can be reached on twitter at http://twitter.com/sexythinker ”

“I’m afraid to look,” she admits.  “I’ve seen this sexy change agent moonchild and while I am not an expert of what constitute sexy in Brookville, Ohio, it certainly has lowered the bar in every honky tonk in Texas.”

“Now, I’m not saying that she told him to holler “Baby Killer” at the top of his lungs in the United States Congress because that would be …. oh, I dunno, real sexy,” Juanita says, “but it certainly falls under the ‘people performance’ she brags about.”

Randy Neugebauer:  Soon To Be Sexy!

See, I told you that you wouldn’t believe it.  But, remember, you saw it here first!  I’m good at this stuff.

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It’s spring and the RNC’s heart turns to thoughts of —-

The Republican National Committee sent a fundraising mail piece earlier this month with a return number that leads to a phone-sex line offering “live, one-on-one talk with a nasty girl who will do anything you want for just  $2.99 per minute.”

At the bottom of a piece designed to resemble a census form, a toll-free number is listed next to the national party’s address.

A voter in Minnesota received the mailer and called the number intending to complain about the attempt to raise money with a form that looks like a government document.

But the Minnesotan was instead directed to a second toll-free number that greets callers as “sexy guy” before offering them the chance to talk with “real local students, housewives and working girls from all over the country.”

Working girls, huh?

Well, they got that part right.

(Thanks to Deb and Kathy for the heads-up)

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Juanita has a physics question.

“Is is possible within the framework of Newton’s Second Law for there to be a sleazy place on earth where Tom DeLay is not somehow involved, even remotely?   Show your work and this will be graded,” she announces.

Our customer and sometimes benefactor, Alfredo, has come close to finding an answer to that question this week upon discovering this article about a Detroit home-nakkid stripper service.

“Would I kid you about something like that?” Juanita asks.  “This guy has set up his home as a kind of  ‘come on over and see a nakkid lady’ bed and breakfast for people who pay to see nakkid ladies.  It’s kinda like homeschooling for skanks.”

“So, this how is Tom DeLay involved,” she teases. “In describing the home for wayward girls, including the obligatory mirrors and overflowing ashtrays,  there is this —

Weirdest of all are the framed certificates on the wall from the Republican Congressional Committee’s Business Advisory Council, naming Thunderbolt as an honorary co-chair and lauding his business acumen. One is signed by Newt Gingrich, the other by Tom DeLay.

“I kinda love the thought of that,” Juanita grins.  “I know this ain’t the first exposure that Newt and Tom have had with pavement princesses, but it’s nice to finally see them so open about it.”

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How long before Sarah Palin quits Fox News?

I give it less than 6 months.  Maybe less.

Sarah Palin’s “other” TV show is already plagued with scandal.  I’m shocked.  Shocked, I say.

Her Foxumentary “Real American Stories” is…. wait for it… fake.

The show was touted as Sarah Palin interviewing celebrities including Toby Keith, Jack Welch (formerly of GE), and rapper LL Cool J.   The show debuts tomorrow.

Only one problem.  LL Cool J had no idea he was going to be “interviewed” by Palin.  Apparently the interview was recycled from an old one he gave back in 2008 to someone who was not Sarah Palin.  Mr. J, who never gave permission for the interview to be used, discovered the network’s intent yesterday.  You can imagine his horror.

“Well, I certainly can imagine his horror.  I think he would be required to relinquish his middle name were he to appear with Sarah Pailin.  I think any Cool you may have must be left at the door,” Juanita says while checking the rules.

So, make your bets here.  If it ends any time in the next year, Juanita promises to send a Obama baseball cap to the winner.

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Hat tip to Deb.

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Juanita is wondering if you remember back in the days of Republicans and their insurance business buddies pushing so hard for tort reform because that, and that alone, would lower our insurance rates so dramatically that insurance would be practically free?

Sure, you do.

Who could forget that?  We gave them tort reform so corporations could feed you poison or rip you off or damage your body with no repercussions because you can trust the free market to take care of these things.  If enough people die from eating from bad peanut butter, people will stop buying peanut butter and the companies will go out of business.  Right?  See, it’s just that easy.

Besides, we can trust juries with life and death, but we cannot trust them with something far more valuable than that – money.  We have to keep juries from holding corporations accountable because that could lead straight to — I dunno, something really, really bad.  Like unobscene profits.

And then the insurance companies can lower your premiums because they’re not having to pay out when you get mold or have a actual claim.

It all seemed to be working hunky dorey, huh?

Except insurance rates didn’t go down.  At all.

In fact, now they are trying to hide how much they are going up —

AUSTIN – An unprecedented move by the Texas Department of Insurance to publicize recent rate hikes by State Farm Insurance sparked a legal challenge from the company Tuesday over what it said was confidential information.

Texas’ largest insurer filed suit against the state agency seeking to protect from disclosure certain information that State Farm said could benefit its rivals in the insurance industry.

The legal action followed the Insurance Department’s decision to post on its Web site two State Farm rate proposals – filed over the last eight months – that increase homeowner premiums an average of 13 percent for the company’s 1.2 million Texas customers.

That’s right.  State Farm has asked for two rate hikes in 8 months because their idea of insurance is that you give them money and they keep it.  Forever.

State Farm Insurance’s chairman and CEO received an 82 percent raise after the company posted a record profit last year, a statement from the Bloomington-Ill.-based insurer said this week.

Chairman and Chief Executive Officer Ed Rust Jr. got a $5.26 million raise. He earned $11.66 million in 2006 with a base salary of $1.77 million and results-based bonus of $9.89 million, the statement said. Rust made $6.4 million in 2005 and $5.5 million in 2004.

The absence of a major catastrophe helped the insurer generate a record $5.32 billion profit last year, compared to $3.24 billion in 2005 when Hurricane Katrina hit the Mississippi Gulf Coast, release said.

They had a three billion dollar profit even when Hurricane Katrina hit.

And how have they been doing lately, even with the markets bad?

Last month – “State Farm Insurance Cos. rebounded along with the financial markets in 2009, posting a $777 million profit and boosting its net worth by 9 percent to $58.1 billion, the company said Friday.”

Which leads me to a question – how much is enough?

You know, it seems to me that the teabaggers ought to be upset about this.  But, they are not.  They have become sheeple for the irresponsible  corporate raping of citizens.

I will now hand my soapbox to someone else.  Thank you for not leaving in the middle of my rant.

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