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Are you telling em that a bunch of grumpy ole white guys are fighting among themselves?

I’m shocked, just shocked.

In Virginia, tea partiers vented on blogs and to reporters about the movement’s inability to coalesce around a single, strong candidate in two House races, resulting in the nomination of establishment candidates instead.

The polls hadn’t even closed Tuesday when “tea party” activists in Nevada started sniping at one another over whether Sharron Angle, the soon-to-be Republican nominee for U.S. Senate, was the best candidate to bring down Senate Majority Leader Harry M. Reid.

“So, you’ve got a bunch of hateful, greedy, disagreeable people you’re trying to make do something positive?  How’s that lovey dovey thing working out for ya?”

Juanita suspect that the problem is that the entire teabagger movement is something made up by old women to get old men out of the house.

She might be right.

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According to Harvey Kronberg, Texas Governor Rick Perry had himself another prissy day at the Republican State Convention —

A visibly amped up Gov. Rick Perry finished up his appearances at the Republican Party of Texas convention with a broadside this afternoon on his Democratic opponent and something like a declaration of war against “liberals … blinded by their intellectual elitism”

“Uh, ‘intellectual elitism’ is teabag-speak for ‘we graduated high school’,” Juanita interpreted.  “Yep, those shiny seals on our high school diplomas just blind some of us.  Others are blinded by reading in low light conditions while hiding out with books.”

“I suspect we’re exposed now that they realized that intellect has a liberal bias.”

No, ya’ll he really said that.  The Governor of Texas came out squarely against intellectual pursuits.  They’ll be banning crossword puzzles next week and PBS is next.

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The Republicans have their state convention in Dallas this weekend.  That’s where a whole mess of old white people get together and try to out pray each other.  Occasionally, they add to the excitement  by wearing silly hats to match their silly ideas.

“There will be the usual assortment of misspelled signs, Obama hating home schooled children, a hoard of people using Jesus Christ as their own personal weapon, and a couple of teenagers smoking dope in the parking lot,” Juanita suspects.

We are hoping that we’ll have some new picture for you this weekend of people who want us to let them run our country again.

If you live in Dallas and send us some pictures, we’ll send you a gift certificate for one cup of coffee at Juanita’s.  That’s a promise.

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Juanita is delighted with some good news she heard this morning.   Republicans are jumping on the Rand Paul bandwagon.

(AP) – Kentucky Republican senatorial candidate Rand Paul, whose antiestablishment fervor has endeared him to tea party activists, will collect campaign cash at a pricey fundraiser in the nation’s capital hosted by Senate GOP leader Mitch McConnell.

Well, that’s a move as fake as a four dollar wig,” Juanita laughs.  “Paul, who was not valedictorian of the Clear Thinkin’ school, is now the darlin’ of the mainstream GOP.”

“I, for one, could not he more delighted,” she told everyone.  “It’s going to be entertaining to see the entire GOP walk around with Rand Paul on their shoulders.  I’ll be like watching the mouse carry the cat around.”

“And as far as the pittance of dignity remaining in Mr. Paul, which is thinner than a frog hair split four ways as it is, that gets sold to the higher bidder in McConnell’s back pocket.”

“This event proves once and for all that with sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.”

Lewis Black has all the answers.