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We pointed out to Juanita this morning that there’s a doofus out there she hasn’t picked on yet – Joe Miller.

“He’s a real special kind of stupid,” Juanita replied.

“I don’t Twitter,” Juanita says.  “I cannot possibly imagine that anyone in the world would want to hear from me 15 times a day.  Plus, I can’t talk in 140 characters, or whatever limit they put on you.”

“However, Joe Miller does Twitter.  Apparently, drunk.”

“He’s getting his name put on the office door before anybody gives him a key.”

So confident is Miller that he’ll win Lisa Murkowski’s Alaska Senate seat in November, he boasted last night to his over 4,000 Twitter followers that, on his trip to DC this week, he might do some house hunting. And perhaps buy some furniture. And also commission a name plaque for the door of his future Senate office.

“There’s ego, there’s cocky, there’s hubris, and Joe Miller is whatever comes after that.”

Seriously, Dude, this is the best picture you have of yourself?

You don’t have a picture where you DON’T look like Satan?

Hurry fast – put a hip-hop in your getalong – and fire your campaign manager like …. I dunno, yesterday.  She don’t like you.  At.  All.

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Hal wrote about it a week ago, but it’s still making the rounds.   Click the little to get the big one.

Juanita comments, “Texas Governor Rick Perry, who is not, absolutely not, totally not, repeat NOT gay, spent $78.26 at a Key West, Florida, popular gay club with drag entertainment.  As you know, I take all my fashion advice from RuPaul so I guess I was a little stunned to learn that Rick and I have that in common.”

And for your perusal, here is a PDF of the letter sent to Perry’s campaign manager.   And, here is Club LaTeDa’s lineup for this month’s entertainment.

Rick Perry is so not gay.

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Louis Gohmert, congressgoof from Texas, has a plan to get people off welfare —

We have people on welfare and I know there’s some that just don’t wanna work, but there’s some that do. How ’bout if instead of the welfare, we give ‘em an alternative. We’ll give you so many acres that can provide land where you can live off of it, make a living and we’ll give you seed money to start, but you have to sign an agreement that you’ll never accept welfare again. How ’bout that? We got plenty of land.

You can see Crazy Louie deliver this plan for American’s unemployed right here.

“Bless Louie’s heart, we have to water him twice a week or he wilts,” Juanita once explained to a visitor from a foreign state.

I wonder if by “seed money,” he means money for actual seeds, or if it would include a mule and a tent or something.

“Hey Louie,” Juanita hollers real loud, “I want that acre behind your fancy Nacogdoches swakienda.   Me and Thelma are moving in her doublewide next week.  We’ll stock your swimming pool and rip up them begonias for some cotton and corn.  We’ll feel right at home in East Texas, and I’m sure you wouldn’t mind if we opened up an adult book store on your part of the property to help with the cost of plumbing.”

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The polls are showing that Bill White is closing in on Rick Perry.  Perry most certainly is going to have  a belly full of bedsprings in the coming weeks watching White move on up on the outside.

Perry is still refusing the debate, pleading instead that he’s kinda dumb and plenty scared.  It’s been said that he’s so chicken that he molts twice a year.

So, they’re having the debate without him.  His empty space will stand out like a possum at a dog show.

Perry will not even interview at newspaper editorial boards because stoopid is stoopid, even in print.

Juanita says, “Ole Rick will be sitting at the $10,000 a month rental we pay for, eating fancy, smoking big cigars, and threatening to secede unless he gets a nicer quality of wine at dinner.  He’s a pig.  He’s just a pig.”

She’s a tad peeved that the Governor of the State of Texas has loco camped out in his brain.

“Y’all, get that damn fool out of there before he does some real damage,” she begs.

Babe, if you’re talking on the phone while using your iPad, you really, really need to drop the coffee.  You’ve had too much.  Plus, how the hell are you gonna drink that coffee without slapping yourself in the face with your iPad.

Additionally, you look like a dork.

Thelma says that’s why she likes being a large woman – in a pinch, with a good bra, you can perch your coffee between your ta-tas.  However, don’t do it unless you have an insulated mug or else it’s a booger to explain to the emergency room doctor.