.

I do not believe for one single minute that 7,500 votes just showed up by magic in Wisconsin.

I do not believe it.

More tomorrow.  I’m pooped, but I figured y’all would be bustin’ a gut, like me, over this.

.

Right now, this minute, I just heard on CNN that VA hospitals would stay open if Boehner shuts down the government.  However, disability checks to veterans will stop.  But, they will keep the VA suicide hotlines open.

That just ain’t right.

.

“Look,” Juanita says this morning as she puts on the coffee, “she’s a cute little ole gal who never really had much of chance going in, what with her parents, small town attitudes, educational achievement, and oddly named siblings.”  Juanita is talking about Bristol Palin.

“But somebody needs to grab that girl and have a chat with her about propriety before she turns into her mother.”

It seems that Juanita has discovered that the Candies Foundation hired Bristol as their national spokeswoman on teen pregnancy prevention.  “Ain’t that kinda like making Charlie Sheen your spokesman on mental health,” Juanita asks.

The Candies Foundation paid Bristol $262,500 a year.  However —-

But a closer examination of the tax form by ThinkProgress shows that the group disbursed only $35,000 in grants to actual teen pregnancy health and counseling clinics: $25,000 to the Mt. Sinai Adolescent Health Center and $10,000 to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy.

“Okay,” Juanita gets out her jeweled pocket calculator, “that means they paid her 7 times what they spent on actual teen pregnancy prevention.”

Verdelia interrupts, “That’s Sarah Palin’s America, baby!”

“To add insult to injury,” Juanita says, “the Candies Foundation spent even more money on polls to prove that Bristol Palin is oh so much cooler than Jenny McCarthy.  No, I’m serious.  They did.  And the PSA that Bristol did?  It was with The Situation.  So, we don’t know if Bristol Palin is oh so much cooler that The Situation, or if Jenny McCarthy with The Situation would out poll Bristol.  But, let’s hope they don’t spend more money on that.”

.

It looks like the Tim Pawlenty campaign is gonna be a real crowd pleaser.

“So, some drunk shows up at a backdoor at 3:30 a.m., which ain’t unusual in Texas, but this is Iowa,”  Juanita begins her story to the chicas at the beauty salon this morning.

“The drunk, as drunks are oh so apt to do, scares a 15 year old girl into screaming her damfool head off, as 15 year olds are apt to do, while he keeps trying to break in the backdoor.  Daddy comes downstairs and holds a gun on 24 year old Ben Foster until the police arrive.”

“The mother explains…”

“He kept telling my husband, ‘I’m trying to find Johnson, Johnson.’ He kept saying Johnson. Well, I find out he’s trying to get to Johnston (the town,” said Stacey. “He was so drunk, he thought he was at his friend’s house – is what he told officers.”

“I dunno about you, but some drunk shows up at my backdoor hollering Johnson and I’m getting a gun, screaming my damfool head off and taping the whole thing to show my girlfriends the next day because there’s some good jokes in there,” Juanita admits.

“Meanwhile,” she continues, “while everybody is waiting on the police, Foster tries to convince the Daddy to buy some Amway and vote for Tim Pawlenty.”

“Okay, I made up the Amway part.  But not the Pawlenty part.”

Looking for Johnson

“Ben Foster is a paid political operative for Tim Pawlenty.”

Pawlenty’s campaign  issued the following statement:

“Governor Pawlenty is extremely disappointed in Ben’s actions and his behavior does not meet the standards he expects of his employees. Therefore, the committee is placing Ben on a two-week unpaid suspension and expects him to bear the legal consequences for his action.'”

And that’s a pretty good story and Juanita thanks Deb for sending it to her.

Thelma waited a minute and then remarks, “Well, if you’re not going to explain about the Johnson thing, then I just wasted 5 minutes listening to your stoopid story.”

I guess she did.