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“It looks like Texas public school superintendents are finally developing the shame gene,” Juanita smiles.  “Lookie here at the Round Rock School District right outside of Austin ….”

… the district said that Superintendent Jesús Chávez would write a personal check for $21,000 to rehire an unspecified part-time teacher next school year. Officials said Chávez, whose base salary is $252,875, plans to continue his donation each year until the budget situation improves and most laid off teachers are rehired.

“So, $21,000 ain’t much out of a base pay of $252,875, but it’s a start.  And it might be contagious because Austin Superintendent Meria Carstarphen has proposed eliminating her $25,000 performance bonus in 2011-12, and Leander Superintendent Bret Champion will take a $20,000 cut in salary and benefits, including forfeiting his cellphone and car allowances,” she reports.

“Now the reason I’m telling you this is that I’m wondering how long it’s gonna take for the shame gene to make it to Fort Bend County and smack Dr. Plenty Jenney and his plenty and a half contract.  I’m placing my money on the day after when cows give beer.”

By the way, if you live in Texas and want to see how much money your school district is going to lose, click right here and ask Miss Texas Tribune Wizard.

Thanks to Karen for the heads-up.

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Bad news on the humor front.

Haley Barbour just pulled out of the Presidential race.  I was really counting on a Barbour / Perry ticket – The Yeehaw – Hey, Bubba, Hold My Beer and Watch This Ticket.

Rats!

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Juanita spent her lunch break staring at the computer screen and pulling her hair out.

You are not going to believe this.  The website Politico had this story —

“No.”

“You cannot call them the libertarian Kennedys,” Juanita guffaws.  “At least with a straight face.”

“Ron Paul has not won one single election outside his bizarre little congressional district drawn just for him by Tom DeLay.  Ron Paul could not win any election outside his district including Fiddler General.  The Kennedys won elections.”

“Ron Paul has been unable to accomplish any of his major political objectives, thank God.  The Kennedys got stuff done.”

“They are drinking too much over at Politico,” she decides and un-bookmarks it.

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Get a giant swallow of this, my thirsty friends —

We had to struggle with the old enemies of peace–business and financial monopoly, speculation, reckless banking, class antagonism, sectionalism, war profiteering.

They had begun to consider the Government of the United States as a mere appendage to their own affairs. We know now that Government by organized money is just as dangerous as Government by organized mob.

Never before in all our history have these forces been so united against one candidate as they stand today. They are unanimous in their hate for me–and I welcome their hatred.

Franklin Roosevelt, October 31, 1936

And if that doesn’t chill you to the bones, he also said in that speech —

Here is an amazing paradox! The very employers and politicians and publishers who talk most loudly of class antagonism and the destruction of the American system now undermine that system by this attempt to coerce the votes of the wage earners of this country. It is the 1936 version of the old threat to close down the factory or the office if a particular candidate does not win. It is an old strategy of tyrants to delude their victims into fighting their battles for them.

I am not sure that being “civil” and compromising is going to win back this country to the middle class who has done the labor, fought the wars, paid the taxes and made this country great.

If we do not insist on having Roosevelt’s courage to “welcome the hatred” of the organized mob, then I fear we will be swallowed by them.

America was not built on civility.  It was built on courage, dammit.

And that is your Monday Morning Hissy Fit, brought to you by Franklin Roosevelt and Juanita Jean.

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Juanita has decided that these damn Republicans are so shrewd that they could give you a head start and still beat you through a revolving door.

Case in point.  We are firing school teachers, increasing class size, and closing schools, but Republicans are making out like landowners on settlin’ day.

The state teacher retirement fund’s investment managers received more than $8.2 million in bonuses this year, more than double what every other state agency’s top employees have received combined since 2007, according to a newspaper analysis published Sunday.

Results of The Dallas Morning News analysis published in Sunday’s edition show the bonuses went to 54 top Teacher Retirement System investment managers who direct parts of the $100 billion fund. The biggest single bonus was $521,512 to the system’s chief investment officer, who receives a base salary of $480,000.

The report comes as about 300,000 retired teachers have gone 10 years without a pension increase and state lawmakers struggle with a budget shortfall that could leave tens of thousands of teachers out of work.

“Face it, “Juanita says.  “You kinda gotta be in awe of that level of shrewd and greed.  The retirees haven’t gotten a raise in a decade, but these guys are waddling in dough for doing only a mediocre job.”

“Although the Texas teacher retirement system is okay, it’s not that much better than if we’d let that kid on eTrade do the investing,” she speculates.

“And in the bowels of irony hell, the Republicans are saying that if we want good people investing our money, then we need to pay what they are worth, which is top dollar.  This theory, of course, does not extend to teachers.”

“Republicans are making me crazy,” she growls, “and best I can tell, they are doing it on purpose.”

She’s right, you know.

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The latest is from Michigan.

Caswell Warbucks

Under a new budget proposal from State Sen. Bruce Caswell, children in the state’s foster care system would be allowed to purchase clothing only in used clothing stores.

Yes, my friends, it is The Grand National Humiliate an Orphan Day in Michigan.  I mean, by golly, those kids already have it so cushy.

And shoes and socks?  They don’t need no darn shoes and socks; it just makes them wussies.  What this country needs, by gawd, is some tough orphans.

And what’s better for building character than second hand underwear?  Answer me that, Mr. Bleeding Heart Liberal.

But, Caswell has this thought —

Casswell says the plan will save the state money, though it isn’t clear how much the state spends on clothing for foster children or how much could be saved this way.

You know, if telling little foster children where they can buy their clothes is Caswell’s idea of smaller government, I’d hate to think what he believes big government is.

And, yes, of course, he claims to be a Christian.

I hope he gets second hand eggs for Easter.

By gawd, I do.

Thanks to Robert for the heads-up.