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High oil prices are being brought to you by those same friendly folks who brought you the Wall Street meltdown.

Lookie here —-

Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) demanded on Thursday that regulators impose limits on oil speculation to help lower the price of gas in a letter sent to President Obama.

“There is mounting evidence that the skyrocketing price of gas and oil has nothing to do with the fundamentals of supply and demand, and has everything to do with Wall Street firms that are artificially jacking up the price of oil in the energy futures markets,” Sanders wrote. “In other words, the same Wall Street speculators that caused the worst financial crisis since the 1930s through their greed, recklessness, and illegal behavior are ripping off the American people again by gambling that the price of oil and gas will continue to go up.”

It’s a damn crap shoot, but you’re fronting the money for both sides and none of the winnings come back to you.

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“He is such a little weenie,” Juanita exclaims while reading something on the internet machine.

Since that could be a plethora of men Juanita has a strong disliking to, we ask who.  She begin to read aloud —

Perry [is] now complaining that Obama is showing a preference to Alabama and other storm-stricken states, while denying Texas approval of a recent wild-fire-related Major Disaster declaration.

Perry, who has been a constant critic of states taking federal aid money, and who at one point argued that Texas might opt to secede from the Union (again), if matters did not change in Washington DC to suit him, has nevertheless expected and received billions of dollars in federal taxpayer money to help his state.

“Rick Perry whines when the federal government gives disaster money.  He whines when he doesn’t get some.  He whines when President Obama does come to Texas.  He whines when President Obama doesn’t come to Texas.  Dammit, every time he opens his mouth, all I hear is the sound of a spoon pounding on a high chair tray,” Juanita admits.

“Rick, don’t make me pull over to the side of the road.  Your brother did not get a bigger piece than you did.”

“Cheezzzzzz … somebody spank him.”

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The Texas wildfires took much of West Texas, but Juanita is proud to announce that Mary’s Cafe in Strawn still stands.   Juanita rates Mary’s as the best french fries and hamburger anyplace anywhere anytime.  Mary, who is the hardest working woman in Texas, is even giving away free chicken fried steaks this next Saturday to help out those who lost a lot.

Warning:  you will not find those little heart-healthy logos beside anything on Mary’s menu, but it is well worth a 100 mile drive out of the way to eat onion rings at Mary’s.  By the way, Mary’s is 100 mile from anywhere else so be prepared for the trip.

But, while you’re there, stop in at the soap shop down the road.  Their olive oil soaps are amazing.  I got hooked on them about 15 years ago.

Bubba and his Dreamland ribs

On a sad note, Tuscaloosa is one of my favorite southern towns.  The birthplace of the Crimson Tide is a beautiful, clean little town with my favorite barbeque outside of Texas and Memphis – Dreamland Bar-B-Que Restaurant.

I’m sending all my good thoughts to the people in my beloved south who are suffering from too much rain and too little rain.

Now I’ll go back to being mean.

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At least she didn’t say it’s because we have ta-tas.

Rep. Sally Kern, R-Oklahoma City, said minorities earn less than white people because they don’t work as hard and have less initiative.

Kern said women earn less than men because “they tend to spend more time at home with their families.”

Hey, give her some credit.  Do you have any idea how hard it was for her not to mention watermelon and menstrual cycles.

Sally also introduced a bill that “prohibits courts from considering Sharia, or Islamic, law.”  She didn’t say anything about the courts considering the law of the west.

I have long contended that Sharia Law is a pole dancer over at the Mustang Lounge.  I suspect that Sally thinks Shria’s a minority person.  Who doesn’t dance hard enough.  And spends waaaay too much time with her family.

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Like everybody else, Juanita oh so hopes that Donald Trump is the Republican nominee for President of  these here United States of America.

“He’s got some dandy ideas,” Juanita grins.

“I did not know this,” she admits, “but he generously offered to build a big ole ballroom, with typical Trump understated taste and elegance, on the grounds of the White House.  Neon optional, I suspect.”

In an interview last week, Trump said —

“Listen, every time I see a function,” Trump said he told David Axelrod , then a senior adviser to President Obama, “you put up an old broken canvas tent,” probably rented from some overcharging local company.

“I will build you, free of charge, one of the great ballrooms of the world,” Trump said he told Axelrod, one that will “cost maybe $100 million” and be “attached to the White House.” (No determination on the size of the gold plaque thanking “The Donald” or where it would be affixed.)

“That sound you hear is Dolly Madison and Jacqueline Kennedy turning over in their graves,” Juanita assures us.  By the way, here’s some snapshots of the “tent” erected on the White House lawn for special events too large for the White House ballroom.  It’s not exactly your standard issue Bass Pro Shop dealie.

But that’s not all.

Donald Trump, according to David Axelrod shares this story —

Trump, now at the top of some polls on nominees for the GOP presidential candidate, “contacted me originally asking to be put in charge of the operation in the gulf to seal the oil leak.”

“I don’t know this for a fact,” Juanita admits, “But I suspect his solution would have involved his name in large letters rising up out of the ocean.  Or his hair.”

Juanita says she giggled every time she saw The Donald on teevee yesterday, saying how proud he was of himself over the birth certificate issue.

“Donald, Hon, the President just made a complete fool of you.  In my part of the country, that’s generally not a source of pride.”

Thanks to Deb for the heads-up.