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Oh no she di’int.  Sarah Palin did not use the p word.  Oh, Girl, you be hurtin’ …..

Oh no, Girl.  The only P word you need to be using about Barack Obama is President of the United States of America.

You watch this finger in your face, Girl, because I’m only tellin’ you this stuff one time.  You do not use the pussy word right after the President has gone all gangsta upside Public Enemy #1.  Especially after  your homeboy sat on his hiney for 7 1/2 years.

And, Beyotch, you do not get to say what the hell the mission is.  And there’s a reason for that.  You lost.  And then you quit.  Girl, you’re nothin’ minus a million.

You need to shut your skanky mouth about the President of the United States of America before I get all up in your biznatch.

Look at my finger when I’m talking to you, Girl.  You really wanna talk about drama?  I mean, look at silly you.  You the drama ho, Girl.  If they gave a crown for drama, you’d be wearin’ it.

You need to tweet your little booty right off the internet before somebody catches on that you may have been born in the USA but you probably won’t be staying long.  You’ll quit that, too.

Girl, you da skank queen now.

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The Texas Senate has just approved requiring a vaginal ultrasound for any woman in Texas prior to having an abortion.

I think they’re a bunch of perverts.

How come they think the government shouldn’t be in their corporate business but can be all up and over my lady business?

Personally, I think we should require them to have a public rectal exam to check where their heads are.

Dammit, this just ain’t right.

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Our customer Richard sent us something he stole from Inca Kola News.  (Be sure to count the silverware after Richard leave your house.)

Come to find out, women in the United States still lag far behind when it comes to national elective office.  Click the little one to get the big one.

Now, this does not mean that we need to elect Michelle Bachman, but it certainly does mean that finding and training sane, qualified women for public office needs to be a priority among those of us of the estrogen persuasion.  It would certainly be a nice counterpoint to the insane, unqualified men currently holding office.  And, yes, I am looking at you, John Cornyn.

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Nan brought a catalog in for us to see.  It’s from a company called, charmingly, Bounce.  Bounce sells lady things.

They have a new item in thier catalog.

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As most of you know, Governor Rick Perry asked all Texans to pray for rain a couple of weeks ago.  Now look, I’m not naming any names, but apparently, somebody’s not following directions because we have not had one single drop of rain since The Rev. Gov. Perry has started this revival.  I’m not saying it’s you.  I’m just saying that somebody sitting where you’re sitting ain’t holding up their end of this deal.

And I do take small comfort that it ain’t working most everywhere.  In California, they tried praying away crime.

Pray For Newark claims amazing results as its Christian volunteers “prayer walk” the Newark city streets, seeking to pray down crime. As shown in the slickly-produced video (featured in this story) from Harvest Evangelism, the ministry credited with launching the Newark effort, by 2010 the effort had 100% coverage in the city, at least one prayer-walker per city street (Newark has over 1,000 streets) and exults that consequently, by March 2010, Newark had its first murder-free month since 1966.

Then, in late 2010, after a cost-cutting proposal led to a showdown with the local police union, Newark Mayor Corey Booker fired 167 city police officers. The results are unsurprising. By mid 2011, reports CBS, murders were up 71%, shootings up 29%, and auto theft up 39%. The magical results of Pray For Newark’s prayer-based crime fighting effort seemed to suddenly evaporate.

It appears that prayer only works if you’re willing to back it up with a whole mess of cops.

Now either somebody ain’t praying or somebody ain’t listening.  I don’t want to point any fingers at the Big Rainmaker in The Sky, but heads-up, Big Guy!

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Juanita notes with a little glee that Donald Trump is whistling a new tune this morning.

“I want to personally congratulate President Obama and the men and women of the Armed Forces for a job well done,” Trump said in a statement, NewsMax reports.

“Donald, Honey,” she grins, “I imagine a little kissing up is certainly in order.  You know, since the President is carrying your pecker in his pocket now.”

Juanita also smirked a little this morning because last week Newt Gingrich was saying that he was going to announce his candidacy for President sometime this week.

Less than two weeks ago, the former House Speaker, who is currently officially unofficially exploring a 2012 run, said he would decide by May 1 whether he’ll run for the White House.

“Newt, however, has decided to postpone his announcement to a week when the President isn’t being King of the Damn Hill,” Juanita reports.

We all suspect he’s gonna have a long wait.