.Rick Perry accepts the ‘Boot Up Texas’ award at 2011 RightOnline

So, you folks out there follow Rick on Tweeter and Facemook.  (By the way, I completely stole the FaceMook thing from my young whippersnapper buddy PDiddie, who had to explain it to me.)

And, y’all, since I’m not a blogger, can I be one of Rick’s “new media activist?”  I have no idea what the hell that means, but it sounds like something I might be competent at.

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Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell spends his Saturdays telling kids to get off his lawn.  He spends every other day of the week purposefully forgetting things.  I’m just positive of that.

The latest is his indignation at Eric Holder for believing in the Constitution of the United States of America. McConnell wrongly believes that Eric Holder should try terror suspects at Guantanamo Bay, instead of a civilian court, because they don’t deserve “all the rights” given to Americans.

Say what?

McConnell said Holder’s assertion last week that civilian courts are the most effective way to fight terrorism is “an audacious claim about the war on terrorism.”

“These comments insult those who have served on the front lines, but Holder’s clear intent was to justify the Obama administration’s two-year misadventure in treating captured terrorists like common criminals,” McConnell wrote.

Say double what?

Uh, didn’t we try Timothy McVeigh in a civilian court?  Seems to me that worked out okay.

“We ain’t no damn banana republic with a military junta.  Mitch McConnell spent a grueling 2 months, from July to August of 1967, in the military service in the hellhole of dangerous Fort Knox, Kentucky, where he was discharged for a wimpy medical condition called optic neuritis.  He immediately went to work as an intern on Capitol Hill and finished law school 2 months later.  So, he can shuddup about military courts.  He don’t know diddle squat about military courts,” Juanita says.

“You had your chance, Old Man,” she hollers, “and you gave it up for self promotion.”

Damn, she’s kinda had it with him.

Thanks to David for the heads-up.

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“Oh Sarah,” Juanita smiles, “Girl, didn’t your mother tell you that when you start something you’re supposed to finish it?”

Amid diminishing media interest, Sarah Palin has quit her high-profile bus tour halfway through and returned to Alaska with her family, according to RealClearPolitics.

“Y’all,” Juanita grins, “the new Ain’t Sarah Dandy documentary is entitled ‘Undefeated.’  So, don’t be embroidering any Winners Never Quit mottoes on your couch pillows.”

Juanita is wondering why we didn’t hear about Canadians coming out of their houses to point to laugh at the bus as it made it’s sluggish journey home to mope?

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The Republicans in the Texas Lege stomped on every social program in the state of Texas.  They slashed  their budgets thin as hen’s skin rather than use the rainy day fund.  After all, what’s a hungry kid when Rick Perry’s Republican presidential stingy cred is on the line?

Not satisfied at hurting the least, the lost, and the last by cutting state programs, the Republicans have now gone after charities with a vengeance known only to the devil and old men who sit in lawn chairs and throw rocks at little children when they pass by on the sidewalk.

In Texas you can buy specialty license tags for your car.  They cost $30 extra.  Of that, $22 goes to nonprofits or state agencies, $7.50 goes to the state highway fund, and 50 cents goes to the county in which the vehicle is registered.  Texas charities earn $22.5 million dollars this way.

In a move designed to give smoke and mirrors a bad name, there’s now a proposal to defer half of the payment for two years.  In other words, the Girl Scouts or other non-profits could not access the money raised this year until 2013.  This will help  “balance the budget by turning it into state income,” Republicans contend.

“On paper.  Sure,” Juanita stomped when she heard this.  “Letting Rick Perry say he balanced the budget when he didn’t is so much more important than the Girl Scouts, Special Olympics, Big Brothers / Big Sisters, Texas Parks and Wildlife, UT and A&M scholarships, and Cancer Support.”

Nonprofits say the deferred payments will hurt them because they use that money to operate programs and leverage other sources of income, such as federal grants. They also worry that the state could come back in two years and pass another bill directing that money somewhere else.

“Nobody’s taking much comfort in that we’re supposed to get that money in two years,” Stallings said. “The longer it sits there, the more attractive it becomes for the state to want to keep it for some other purpose.”

“I swear,” Juanita mumbles, “these Republicans are so cold that you could get frostbite taking their pulse.”

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Okay, so the Huffington Post says that Rick Perry is ready to defend himself against charges that he is gay.  Because he’s not gay.

Rick contends that the rumors about him being gay, which he is not, were started by his political enemies and Texas trial lawyers.  You know, people who are probably gay.

The rumors have been around since Elvis died, and Rick doesn’t help things with some of his picture poses.  Which are, in fact, pretty much gay.

And, I do believe it was fellow Republicans who first brought up the Rick Perry could be gay agenda.

AUSTIN – A Web site for U.S. Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison contained hidden phrases including “rick perry gay.”

So Gov. Rick Perry’s campaign is accusing the Hutchison team of being slanderous and of setting a negative and divisive tone.

The two Republicans are running for governor in next year’s GOP primary.

The Austin American-Statesman reported Thursday on the phrases.

Hutchison spokesman Jeff Sadosky said Hutchison’s campaign was not condoning those words. He said they would be removed.

Besides, if Rick Perry was gay, would he be pushing so hard to keep the TSA from touching his junk?  That’s not gay.  Crazy, yes.  Paranoid, sure.  Pandering, of course!  But certainly not gay.

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In case you missed it, John Huntsman announced for President in front of the Statue of Liberty and almost 100 people.  Several of them were holding maps and appeared to be lost.  One was drunk, but was probably not a member of the Huntsman family.

Best I can tell, Huntsman has every intention of traveling around the country stirring up apathy.