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Let me tell you how dumb Rick Perry is.  He moved from bean dip dumb to dog dump dumb this week when he went to speak to National Association of Latino Elected and Appointed Officials annual conference in San Antonio.  You know, right after he pushed for voter ID and sanctuary city destruction.

News outlets statewide (and around the country) are weighing in on the response from the audience, using words like “subdued” and “tepid.”

The El Paso Times declared Perry “failed to woo” Latino leaders while “(t)he applause lines often fell flat and the clamoring of silverware hardly yielded.”

Politico picked up on the story Thursday evening, pointing out that while President Barack Obama got criticized for skipping the event, Perry got criticized for showing up.

And Perry did not mention his clearly anti-Hispanic legislation push.  He thought they’d forget it because he’s so distractingly good looking.

“Rick Perry walking into a room is the same as eight good men leaving,” Juanita says.

She’s right, you know.

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Pretty much times are tough and everybody is clipping coupons and canceling vacation plans.  So, what does our Republican dominated county commissioners court do?

Well, Honey, they spent money on their Edifice Complex.  We got ourselves a wryly named “Justice Center.”  It’s a mega complex across from the county jail so people accused of crimes can be brought across to court in an underground tunnel so as not to disturb the beauty of the marble and glass of this ….. I dunno what to say.  It’s ugly.  It’s so ugly that when you walk by, your clothes wrinkle.

I am dead solid certain that this will not be the last time I rant about this massive waste of taxpayer money by Republicans in power, but lawyers were allowed a sneak peek at the inside of the building last week and I know a couple of lawyers.  They sent me pictures and smartypants comments.  So, this will be the first time locals get to see what they bought for the ego of Fort Bend County judges.

You know the drill, click the little ones to get the big ones.

What you got right here is a regal entry way for the judges to enter their courtroom.  God forbid they enter through a plain ole door.  No, siree.  Our judges will enter through a portal banked in marble with a gold seal of Texas over their heads like a halo of Godliness.  At least, we think that’s what they were shooting for.

Instead, it looks like they’re getting out of the shower.

And the fact that they will be wearing robes doesn’t help that image none at all.  One lawyer told me that he will never be able to keep a straight face when a judge emerges, because he’ll be thinking, “I knew it, dammit!  He showers in that damn robe!”

Oh, and by the way, as if any judge needs his ego built, we put a spotlight over his head when he comes out.  We do not know if the theme from 2001 will be set to play or not.

And then there’s the tote board.

To add real class to the building by making it look exactly like you’re at the dog races, dockets will now be on tote boards.  Big.  For everyone to see.  Because, by Gawd, if you’re accused of a crime, even if you’re innocent, we need to put it in lights!

We are taking bets on how long that sucker lasts.  We’re also ready to giggle every time the dang thing doesn’t work, which we suspect will be at least weekly.

Okay, this is just the beginning of what’s wrong with that building.  I can stay in business for another full month or two just with this Taj MaLaw.

The bottom line is that this is what happens when you let a certified high school graduate – County Judge Bob Hebert – design a courthouse.  And I mean that in the ugliest possible way.

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Y’all, Juanita confesses that it is unseemly, rude, and downright embarrassing to be enjoying a ringside seat at the unfolding of  Newt’s sorry soul.

“I should not take delight in the pure and total degradation of a man, but I know that I must have led a good life for the Lord to let me watch both Tom DeLay and Newt Gingrich wallow in burning hubris almost Shakespearean in content.  And that it has been a slooooow slide into the pits of laughingstock for both of them has made it all the more rewarding,” she confesses.

“I’d like to think I’m enjoying it even more than Newt’s two ex-wives.  I doubt it, though.”

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Juanita has something fun for you today.

There’s a guy named Cliff Kincaid whose major accomplishment is that he exposed Walter Cronkite as a communist.  By doing that, Ole Cliff became a major player in rightwing investigative journalism.  Cliff has all manner of titles and whatnot for his work with wackyism.

Cliff Kincaid: Commie Hunter

His latest is a keeper.  With logic more twisted than a wire coathanger, he says that Obama is being investigated by the FBI for being a ….. oh, you just have to read it ‘cuz you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.

In a front page story about a major FBI terrorism investigation, The Washington Post has reported that the targets include “Chicagoans who crossed paths with Obama when he was a young state senator and some who have been active in labor unions that supported his political rise.” The implication is that the trail could lead to the White House.

This is an unusual investigation that does not primarily involve Islamists. Instead, it is focused on elements of the old international communist networks that many people mistakenly thought had faded away with the collapse of the Soviet Union.

Look, this is simple:  Obama is from Chicago.  Union bosses are from Chicago.  What more proof do you need?

Bless his wackytoon heart, Cliff goes on for paragraph after paragraph – obviously being paid by the word – tying Leon Panetta to the same commies supporting Obama.

Now, here’s the key paragraph:

Obama and Panetta were players in the “progressive” community, which since the days of Henry Wallace, presidential candidate of the Progressive Party, has had a red tint. Obama had his own communist mentor, Frank Marshall Davis, a Communist Party member under FBI investigation for 19 years, while Panetta gave DeLacy, who had traveled to China to meet with Soviet and Chinese intelligence agents, sensitive reports on U.S. military matters. Any notion that Panetta had no awareness of DeLacy’s Communist affiliation was obliterated when Panetta in 1983 inserted a tribute to DeLacy into the Congressional Record, praising his resistance to “McCarthyism.”

Honey, we are progressives around here, but the only thing tinted red is Thelma’s hair.

So, if you ever get to wondering what makes the rightwing so goofy, it’s this crapola.  They believe this stuff.  They do.

And if you’re in the mood for even more crazy, check out this guy.  He’s one of the guys who used to believe that Janet Reno had black helicopters on standby to take us all to re-education camps.  Cheeezzzz … any kind of education would help!

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Some folks put a pencil to it and it came up this way:  32 Corporations Spent More On Compensation For Top Executives In 2010 Than They Paid In Income Taxes

If that ain’t a pile of horse feathers, I’ll eat Joe Bob’s hat.  We’ve got about as much chance as a steer in a packing plant.

I have a question:  Why aren’t the Tea Party folks mad about that?

Thanks to Carl for the heads-up.