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“Well,” Juanita grins, “how ’bout them biscuits!  Joe Ray and Amelia June’s baby boy Rick is flashing his wares around the neon lights of Beverly Hills, California.  That there’s a long way from Paint Creek, Texas.  He’s getting as uppity as a mountain goat.”

“For those of you wondering if Rick’s running for President, ask yourself this:  would a two ton hog make a lot of bacon?”

“I know I was taking bets a few months ago that Rick was running for Vice President, but even I didn’t realize how poorly the Republican field was going to do, and I don’t think much of them to start with,” she admits.  “There’s not a one of them I’d trust to go to the grocery store for me if I gave them a list and exact change.”

“So, ole Rick is strutting around California trying to get some of that Paris Hilton money.  I just hope they don’t mistake him for the Midnight Cowboy,” she frets.

In other Rick Perry is a Brat news, he’s tied for second place in the GOP primary poll.  He’s first place among teabaggers.   But, Obama still beats him by 10 points – and that’s before Rick opens his mouth.

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And as a special weekend fun read, do not miss Mark Morford on our girl, Mickey B.

Thanks to Don A for the Morford heads up and the perfect Mickey B nickname.

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Damn, it is hard to keep up with all the Republican hanky-panky.

Now, it’s Eric Cantor.

It seems that he’s betting $15,000 perfectly good cash American money that he could “reap a small financial windfall from his investment in a mutual fund whose performance is directly affected by debt ceiling brinkmanship.”

Cantor is all over the debt reduction talks and even walked out of a meeting with Joe Biden about it last week.

“Doesn’t this bother somebody who is in charge of this kind of thing?” Juanita asks.

“Say what?  Nobody is in charge of these kinds of things?”

“Well hell, I give up,” she admits.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

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It flat ain’t none of your bizwax what Rick Perry does with taxpayer money and where he’s going with it.

At a time Gov. Rick Perry has considerably stepped up his travel schedule, the Legislature on Tuesday amended a school finance bill to keep the details of the cost of his security team secret for 18 months.

At Perry’s urging, lawmakers inserted language into SB1 that will keep the details of travel vouchers submitted by his Department of Public Safety security team secret for 18 months after trips are completed. Both the Texas House and Senate passed the bill Tuesday.

The governor has argued that allowing public scrutiny of the travel expenses of his security team would compromise his safety.

Safety?  Did they say safety?  I’ll betcha they didn’t say it with a straight face.  Honey, he will tromple small children in large fields to get to a Fox News camera.  Where he goes is no secret.  The only safety issue here is poll numbers.

We don’t want details – we want totals.  We want to know what his Presidential ambitions are costing the taxpayers of Texas.  Well, not so much “we,” as much as children doing without health insurance and teachers without jobs.  We here at the beauty salon have jobs.  Unlike Rick Perry.

“Babe,” Juanita sighs, “we ought to gift wrap his paycheck.”

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How dare members of the samestream media call our Governor a liar.

In April 2010, Texas Gov. Rick Perry declared in a column for the American Statesman that “the number of uninsured people in Massachusetts is about the same as it was when the mandates were passed in 2006.”

The governor was wrong. And not by a little. Lies and misinformation are commonplace in the fight to reform healthcare, but Perry’s claim was an out-and-out howler. As Boston Globe reporter Brian Mooney informs us in his magisterial “‘RomneyCare'”– a revolution that basically worked,” around 530,000 people were uninsured in Massachusetts before healthcare reform. Since 2006, “that number has dropped dramatically, by more than 400,000.” Massachusetts now boasts the lowest uninsurance rate in the nation — 1.9 percent.

In Texas, by contrast, around 20 percent of the population is uninsured — the highest rate in the nation.

Y’all, he is not lying.  He just can’t do math.  He’s  not real sparkling at reading either.

Please keep that in mind before you call him a liar again.

Thanks to Steve for the heads-up.

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Oh Blessed Mother of Holy Homesteading, say it is not so.

On his way out at Fox News, entertainer Glenn Beck may be on his way to a new home in North Texas.

Beck has often joked about moving his family to Texas when his New York-based subscription talk show on GBTV.com starts in September.

You know nutty Texas State Senator Dan Patrick?  The guy who thinks trans-vaginal sonograms are fine but patdowns at the airport are obscene and  intrusive?  You remember Dan, don’t you?  Here’s what he says:

“Glenn could go anywhere in the country,” Patrick said by phone from Austin, “but he’s coming here because we are pro-business and because he loves the independent streak and conservative influence we have in Texas.”

Patrick said Beck will be “proud to call Texas home and we’ll be proud to have him here.”

Hey, Kemosabe, watch sayin’ that “we” stuff.

Thanks to Susan N. for the heads up.