Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’

Party Time In St. Louis

June 29, 2021 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Because everybody loves a parade, it is shocking that one of our favorite guys couldn’t draw a crowd big enough to move a couch much less a political campaign.

Remember this charming couple, Mark and Patricia McCloskey, who pulled weapons on a Black Lives Matter parade down their street?

 

Well, he kicked off his campaign for Senate this week on his one year anniversary of keeping the neighborhood safe for privileged white lawyers wearing dirty, tacky clothes.  The newspaper says that tens of people showed up, even with free food and big names draws.

Initially, fellow criminal and proponent of armed coups Michael Flynn was scheduled to speak, but he was subbed out for North Carolina Congressman and notably dumb guy Madison Cawthorn, who also did not show up.

Pillow magnate and unhinged lunatic Mike Lindell piped in a prerecorded message of support, as did war criminal Oliver North, probably as a consolation prize since Flynn was presumably too busy plotting out his own future crimes to make an appearance.

They roasted a whole pig, which was kinda appropriate, but even that would only draw a couple dozen people and a few umbrellas —

 

McCloskey is joining a crowded race to replace two-term Republican Sen. Roy Blunt (R-Mo.). His competitors in the Republican field include scandal-scarred former Gov. Eric Greitens and state Attorney General Eric Schmitt.

Kinda makes me want to move to Missouri and vote in the Republican primary.

 

Playing with Analogies

June 29, 2021 By: Nick Carraway Category: Uncategorized

It started innocently enough. I was perusing social media when I saw a “friend” use an analogy. He said the current administration was like a Chick Fa La being run by someone from McDonald’s. Of course, the implication was that the previous administration was Chick Fa La. Like I said, it begins innocently enough.

It starts with the disbelief. It is hard to have lived through the last five years and somehow come out thinking that it was all a well oiled machine like Chick Fa La. Chick Fa La has become the gold standard in fast food efficiency since the pandemic. No one is allowed inside, lines loop around the block, and yet people are able to get in and out and minutes.

This is the image you think of when you think of the Trump administration? Somehow, when you think of the current administration you think of a lesser form of organization? This would have been knee slapping hilarious if it weren’t so tragic.

Then, a second wave hits me. It’s the realization that these folks are reality impaired. When you watch a steady stream of Fox News, OANN, and live on a steady diet of conservative social media bubbles it can certainly seem like your Chick Fa La has been taken over by the McDonald’s manager. Maybe they just don’t know what good government is.

Finally, I reach the last conclusion one can reach. They know exactly the kind of government they want. It’s the kind of government that works for people like them. It’s the kind of government that doesn’t work for anyone else. When they see government working for others they get angry. That’s not what government is supposed to do.

With all deference to those referring to the election lie as the “Big Lie” I will have to respectfully disagree. The Big Lie has always been that government doesn’t work. The image of the incompetent bureaucrat has been around as long as I can remember and it probably goes back further than that.

This image serves two purposes. Competent conservatives use it to convince us that government is bloated and that it is incapable of making our lives better. They use this image to justify cutting social programs to the bone to justify their tax cuts for the rich. No one wants the image of taking food out of the mouths of the starving so Richie Rich can afford another yacht. So, instead we have the image of welfare queens in Cadillacs sitting around and eating bon bons.

Incompetent conservatives use the image for a different purpose. They use the image to distract you because they themselves have no idea of how run a government. They run the roughshod lemonade stand by the side of the road that squeezes lemons into cups of water and calls it lemonade. You can become convinced that it is Chick Fa La. You can be convinced if that stand has been there for a number of years. You can be convinced because they have conditioned you to believe that Chick Fa La just isn’t possible.

It isn’t that Chick Fa La isn’t possible. It’s that they really don’t want Chick Fa La. They’ve become accustomed to the lemonade stand by the side of the road. Sure, the overdressed water sucks, but they’ve become used to it. More importantly, they are convinced that no one else deserves more either. That’s the real tragedy here. In order to prevent others from getting more they are convinced they are getting the government they deserve. It’s Stockholm Syndrome pure and simple.

Wait! Wait! Wait A Damn Minute!

June 24, 2021 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

There is a giant headline on CNN saying that Rudy Giuliani has been suspended from practicing law in New York because of his lies and whatnot over Donald Trump.

Okay #1:  Rudy Giuliani is a licensed attorney?  I thought he was just a showman who hangs out at Four Seasons, any Four Seasons, doesn’t even have to be in New York.

#2: Does this have anything to do with drippy sideburn leaks?

#3: Was this meant to send a message to Trump’s other “lawyers?”

#4: I’m sure the Alabama bar would welcome him with open arms and help him set up an office at the Four Seasons Trailer Park and Bait Camp.

 

Election Fraud Experts

June 24, 2021 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Sometimes you gotta wonder why Republicans holler so much about election fraud but can’t give us any examples of it.

Well, I kinda figure that’s because election fraud does exist but it’s like lumps in the liter box that GOP cats are scratching like the dickens to cover up.

We have a couple more examples today.  First there’s this guy in Ohio.

Edward Snodgrass, who is a Porter Township trustee, has admitted to forging his dead father’s signature on an absentee ballot and then voting again as himself, court records and other sources revealed.

Snodgrass says he’s a victim of the election fraud tooth fairy.  He says that his father had advanced Parkinson’s disease and that he had been signing for his Dad for years.  The ballot was mailed to his dad the day after his dad died.

“I was simply trying to execute a dying man’s wishes,” he said.

Instead of a felony with 6 months in jail and a $5,000 fine, he’s pleading to a sweetheart deal of 3 days in jail (which will be probated) and a $500 fine.  If he was black and a Democrat, they’d be rustling up a firing squad by now.

And we have this one from North Carolina.

McCrae Dowless got caught in a massive voter fraud scheme for Republicans that has gone on since 2012. Among other election violations, he paid people to gather absentee ballots and fill in any undervotes for Republicans.  It got so bad that opponents began outbidding each other for his “services.”

Once caught, the Baptist preacher wannabe congressman who had hired him and privately admitted he would win was never charged, even after people – including his own son – warned him that Dowless was committing felonies.

Dowless was charged but, as Republican do, he got greedy and hid his salary in order to keep his government disability checks. He was allowed to plead guilty to the government fraud but the election fraud case was dropped. That also cleared all the Republicans who hired him.

I’m just 100% natural guaranteed certain there’s more.

 

No, I Didn’t

June 23, 2021 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

No, I didn’t fire the staff in a fit of anger.  I’m not Governor Greg Abbott. It just appears that everybody has gone on vacation at the same time.  I’ll stop by when I can to at least give you something to talk about.

Texas Governor Greg Abbott decided to do away with the state legislature because Democrats walked out to avoid passage of a horrible voting bill.

Gov. Greg Abbott followed through Friday on a threat to veto a section of the state budget that funds the Texas Legislature, its staffers and legislative agencies.

Dude, that’s some pettiness. So, here we’ve got a guy who starts doing wheelies over the thought of fixing the Texas electrical grid but truly believes he can raise enough donated money to build a wall on the Texas border.

And he hates dogs.

And after promising rural broadband, has a brain fart and vetos it.

Remember now – everything that comes out the legislature is a Republican bill because they own both houses of the Lege.  And then the Governor vetos it.

Hell yeah, Texas.

 

This Right Here

June 22, 2021 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Black Lives Matter