And it’s in Fort Worth.

Of course it’s in Fort Worth.  Where else would it be?  This is Fort Worth’s raison d’être.

Thanks to Brian for the heads-up.

Math has never been Rick Perry’s strong suit.  Well, neither has biology, English, economics, animal husbandry, physics (hell, he can’t even spell that), or history.  But to his credit, rumor has it that he excelled at recess: he never got there late or left early.

Rick said that he wants to cut congressional salaries by half.  He said that with a straight face even while he was making $100,000 a year more than they do as the Texas Governor, which at best is already a part time job.

Then he said that  he would cut $5 trillion from President Barack Obama’s proposed budget.  Obama’s budget is $3.7 trillion.  Perry is going to make up the difference by having us give back New York to the Indians, selling the Capitol building to Argentina and declaring very loudly that “a dollar is a dollar, dammit!”

I hope he understands that if he burns down the White House, there is no money for a plush gated rental mansion, so he’ll have to live in a tent like everybody else would under a Perry Presidency.

Then in a moment of drunken slobbering, Perry admitted that he has some idea about who he would name defense secretary —

While he said it was a little too early to think about that, he added [Herman] Cain embodies many of the characteristics he would look for in a defense secretary.

Oh Lord, for Secretary of Defense, Rick’s looking for an ignorant sexual predator who doesn’t know where Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan is and is creeped-out by Muslims.  Y’all, I’ve thought real hard about this and the best I know, there’s only one man who fits that description and he’s married to Mrs. Herman Cain.

Anybody think Anita’s going to let Rick stay in this race past the middle of January?

Newt Gingrich, who knows everything there is to know and is oh so much smarter than you, does not know squat about Rick Perry.

In a moment of grandiose irony —-

Gingrich made light of Romney’s high-dollar bet proposal at Saturday’s debate. Romney accused fellow candidate Rick Perry of misquoting his writings on health care and offered Perry $10,000 that he was right.

Gingrich, the former House speaker, said he was “startled” by the proposal.

“I know Rick Perry pretty well. I can’t imagine he can cover that, I mean he’s been a public servant all his career,” Gingrich said.

You know Rick “pretty well?”  What, you think that just because he never picks up the check that he’s broke?  The dude is a millionaire, Newt,  a millionaire plus pocket change. And yes, he got that way on his public servant salary so figure that out, Newt.

And, Newt, see the below post.  The Governor makes $250,000 a year plus stuff.  He can cover $10,000, Newt.  He’s had his hand in every taxpayer pocket in Texas and in other places you do not even want to know about.

Thanks to Irene for the heads-up.

Hot off the presses —

Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) “has finally retired, but it’s not what you think: The governor has officially retired as a state employee, but gets to keep working as Texas governor. The maneuver, perfectly legal according to his campaign, has dramatically boosted his take home pay,” the Texas Tribune reports.

“Perry makes a $150,000 gross salary as Texas governor. Now, thanks to his early retirement, Perry, 61, gets a monthly retirement annuity of $7,698 before taxes, or $6,588 net. That raises his gross salary to more than $240,000.”

When the Texas Tribune asked him about it, a Perry spokesman said that it was perfectly legal.  Yeah, well, so is chasing an intern around the desk in the Oval Office but I don’t think a president or a governor ought to do that either.

In the understatement of the year, The Texas Tribune noted —

But the disclosure is sure to spark criticism of Perry, who has called for sweeping changes to Social Security for average workers and has railed against special “perks” that members of Congress get.

Ya think?  Ya think that the other candidates won’t jump on this like flies on garbage?  Goodness sake, Buck came in here once with a goat under each arm and a catfish in his back pocket and that smelled better than this does.

And on top of all this, Perry gets Social Security and lifetime state-provided health care.

How much of my money does this boy need?  Poor public servant, my sweet patootie.  Plus, he gets $10,000 a month rent money, magazine subscriptions, a pool boy, a state chauffeur, and travel money.

What does he need?  Enough money to burn a wet elephant?  How ’bout he gets a job, dammit?

This whole mess has been more confusing than Chinese algebra but it looks like a deal has been struck.

Texas will have a single primary on April 3rd.  Thank you, Sweet Jesus.

Other details:

February 1, 2012 – New residency deadline for candidates seeking election to the Texas House and Texas Senate.

February 1, 2012, 6:00pm – New deadline of court-ordered reopened filing period, in which candidates for all offices have the opportunity to amend, withdraw or file a new application for the ballot.

February 3, 2012 – New deadline for County Executive Committees to conduct drawing for candidate order on ballot.

April 3, 2012 – Date of the 2012 General Primary Election.

April 14 or April 21, 2012 – Date of County and Senatorial District Conventions, as determined by the State Chair of each political party.

June 5, 2012 – Date of the 2012 General Primary Runoff Election.

Now the downside is that there will be a two month run-off in the primary election, which means that the odds of there being bloodshed or at least spitwads thrown in the Fort Bend GOP primary race for sheriff increase dramatically.  Since there are 4 candidates, there almost assuredly will be a run-off.

The latest spitwad thrown?  I took a picture of it last night.

Yep.  This sucker is pretty near the same size as Juanita’s purse or Del Rio.

Meanwhile, while these two dudes are playing spite games with each other, the sole Democratic candidate is taking bullets for the public.

I love yew, Democrats.

Mike Toomey is a political hack for big business and he’s Rick Perry’s best friend.  Toomey is Perry’s former Chief of Staff turned Austin lobbyist who rakes in the big dollars for his known coziness with Perry.

In the world of big legal corruption, Toomey is Perry’s pimp.  Everything that links Rick Perry to pay to play has to go through Toomey.   From Perry’s Executive Order to give every teenage girl in Texas an HPV vaccine to a very lucrative land deal for Perry in 2003, Mike Toomey’s lobbying clients stand to gain off of Perry’s every action.  And so do Mike and Rick.

Toomey even got caught buying a Green candidate to divide the Democratic vote.  In Toomy’s book, nothing is too sleazy to do for Rick Perry. Well, I think that’s in Perry’s book, too.

Including cheating.

Two Washington-based watchdog groups filed a complaint with the Federal Election Commission on Thursday, accusing Rick Perry’s campaign and a pro-Perry super PAC of violating campaign finance laws.

The Campaign Legal Center and Democracy 21 wrote in a letter to the FEC that it appeared the super PAC, Make Us Great Again, produced video and then gave it to the Perry campaign free of charge. Federal law prevents super PACs from making any kind of contributions to candidates.

And guess who runs the Super-PAC “Make Us Great Again” that is named as the violator in the complaint – Mike Toomey.

They say that even the thought of Rick Perry in the White House makes dollar signs appear in Toomey’s eyes.

Here’s a hint for other Watchdog groups – if Mike Toomey has touched it, it’s corrupt.