Juanita Jean, Thelma, BubbaX, Verdelia, Dirt, and the entire staff of the World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. wish you a Merry Christmas.

And Bubba and I wish you  —

The Peace that Passes All Understanding.

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I’m stepping away from the keyboard for a couple of days because my entire family will be here and I love them  all.

Now he can’t count

(CNN) – Texas Gov. Rick Perry will not appear on the Virginia primary ballot after submitting a petition that didn’t meet the commonwealth’s requirements, the Virginia Republican Party announced Friday.

In an announcement on their Twitter feed, the Virginia GOP wrote, “After verification, RPV has determined that Rick Perry did not submit the required 10k signatures and has not qualified for the VA primary.”

Santa needs to bring him some signatures, huh?

If God truly did tell him to run, God is a prankster.

Sharon predicts that this story about Rick Perry praying every day that he doesn’t make any more mistakes is … well, I’ll let Sharon say it —

This is all leading up to Perry blaming all the God hating heathens for his failures because God keeps telling him to run. And there is three things God is known for; first God is Great, uh second God is Omnipresent, third, third, hmmmm, did I say God is Great?

Immediately after telling a group, “Well, I prayed right before I walked over here that I wouldn’t make any mistakes that my friends in the media would be able to put on television,” Perry screwed up by saying that  his flat-rate format “would eliminate standard deductions.”  Bobby Jindal, who ain’t exactly a mental giant, stepped in to save him.

I think Sharon is right.  God is answering Rick’s prayers.  He’s saying, “Shuddup, Rick, you’re getting on my nerves.”

My math shows that every day Rick Perry stays on the campaign trial costs five Texas teachers their jobs in Perry’s security detail alone.  I think God’s getting hacked about that.

Lookie here what Jim Sensenbrenner is having for Christmas dinner.

You know, I can’t imagine a better Christmas gift in the world than having a morbidly obese Republican congressman call  you and say, “Please forgive me, for it is I who is the large ass.”

Thanks to David for the heads up.

Well, it appears that Minnesota Republican Senate Majority Leader Amy Koch had to resign her seat because of an “inappropriate relationship” with a subordinate male staffer.

Amy Koch: Slutty Gay Hater

That’s a real shame because Koch was a giant big ole massive supporter of the Defense of Marriage Act.  You know, the one where gays can’t enforce their agenda to destroy marriage in America.

Enter John Medeiros, a proud gay man:

John Medeiros, who curates an LGBT reading series in Minneapolis, wrote an open letter to Koch, saying he is sorry gays and lesbians have destroyed the institution of marriage and contributing to her inevitable relationship with a subordinate staffer.

John apparently has the distributorship rights on funny in Minnesota.  He wrote:

“These recent events have made it quite clear that our gay and lesbian tacts have gone too far, affecting even the most respectful of our society.

We apologize that our selfish requests to marry those we love has cheapened and degraded traditional marriage so much that we caused you to stray from your own holy union for something more cheap and tawdry. And we are doubly remorseful in knowing that many will see this as a form of sexual harassment of a subordinate.

I flat out big ole sloppy kiss and hug love you, John Medeiros.

You can read the whole letter here and snicker yourself silly this morning.

Thanks to Brian for the heads-up.

Dear Juanita,

I tell ya, The US of A is a great country. You don’t have to be particularly smart or talented to be rich and famous…case in point:

What a gig…have a large media corporation pay you a gazillion dollars to make half-witted comments about Christmas cards and dogs…where do I sign up?

Kellybee

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Dear Kellybee,

Here’s my card —

Well, I can understand Sarah’s concern, Kelly, because – after all – Obama is a Kenyan and all.  But how about Daddy Bush’s card?

Or Dubya’s card —

So, I guess we should all be glad that Sarah didn’t use her “family, faith, and freedom” to criticize Mrs. Obama’s posterior.  At least, this time.  I think she’s saving that for Easter.

Hugs,
Juanita