Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott lost another round in court today in his continuing effort to legally ban Democrats from voting in Texas.

The November, Greg Abbott cannot enforce his opinion that Democrats are yucky and should not be allowed to cast a ballot because many of them are not white, don’t belong to a country club, or – ahem – don’t have a winkie.  Rumor even has it that some of them actually work for a living instead of living off a major personal injury settlement obtained prior to tort reform, like any Texas Attorney General worth his weight in feathers does.

Under the judge’s ruling today —

1. Volunteer Deputy Registrars (“VDRs”) may make copies of voter registration applications;
2. VDRs do not have to personally deliver completed applications to the county office (in our case, the Fort Bend County Election Administrator) and can instead mail such completed applications;
3. VDRs do not have to be Texas residents or citizens and out of state workers can be VDRs;
4. VDRs in one county can collect voter registration applications for persons living in another county and send those applications to the appropriate county official; and
5. The employment of VDR by an organization may be subject to quotas or requirements that certain number of completed voter registrations be provided in order to remain employed.

What this means is that Democrats can register other Democrats.

Shameful, ain’t it?  No telling who they’ll register.  Maybe even some trial lawyers or social workers, or nurses, or construction workers … you know, average people.

The proprietor-ette entire staff of The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc., gives a standing ovation to Chad Dunn, a hero lawyer.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

So yesterday, Mitt went to Miami to try to apologize to all the old people for Ryan trying to kill them all.

They didn’t take it too well, so he tried another tactic – sew up the drug trafficker vote!  And it would have worked out just fine, but, dammit, convicted felons can’t vote in Florida.

A campaign stop by Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney in Miami on Monday was held at a restaurant owned by a convicted drug trafficker.

Romney, hoping to get support from the Cuban-American community in Miami, held an event at El Palacio de los Jugos, famed for its tropical juices, fruits and Cuban-style snack food.

Court documents show restaurant owner Reinaldo Bermudez pleaded guilty in 1997 to one count of conspiracy to distribute cocaine. The case in federal court in Miami led to a three-year prison sentence for Bermudez.

Bermudez got caught importing over a ton of cocaine from Trinidad  with some colleagues known as “Fat Boy,” “Ali Baba,” “Skeletor,” “Mogley” and “Buckwheat,” which just sounds like your average Republican board room.

Now, you’d think this was just a simple mistake, but Bermudez says it was no mistake.

The New Times report quoted Bermudez as saying the Secret Service vetted everything about him when the campaign asked to use his restaurant, one of several he owns throughout Miami-Dade County.

“They absolutely knew about my record,” Bermudez told the New Times. “The Secret Service checked everything. was not a problem. Everybody deserves a second chance.”

Everybody?  You mean even old, sick people who need Medicare?

Oh, not them.  Okay, sorry I mentioned it.

So I was at the Dairy Queen for lunch today and Alfredo, the owner and chief fry cook, handed me a copy of this, and if your Dairy Queen owner doesn’t pour over the London Telegraph Financial section, you are going to the wrong Dairy Queen, Honey.

It seems that United States Federal investigators have offered “several former junior UBS employees protection from criminal charges in exchange for their cooperation with their expanding probe into alleged Libor manipulation.”

UBS – that’s former Texas Senator and Major Greedhog Phil Gramm’s little Swiss bank operation overseas to help his rich American friends hide their money from the taxman.

And UBS is the star on top of the tree in the Libor scandal.

US antitrust officials have been investigating alleged collusion between at least 16 banks to manipulate interest rates, including the London interbank offered rate, or Libor.

UBS is one of the main targets of those regulators, the paper said, citing people close to the investigation.

Now, some of you remember Gramm as John McCain senior economic adviser who opined that Americans were a nation of whiners and that we were only in a mental recession – not a economic one.  Yeah right, Bush’s wrecking of the economy was all in our minds.  When McCain lost, Gramm found employment stealing from Dickey Flatt and the American taxpayers.

I promised Alfredo that I’d let him cater the Second Annual World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon’s Blizzardfest if Gramm got indicted.

Thank you, Alfredo.

Okay, this is kind of a weird story from a weird state.

It appears that the school system in Meridian, Mississippi is sending kids to prison for some pretty normal behavior.

The Department of Justice has been investigating the school system in the city for allegedly having students arrested and placed in juvenile detention. School principals and teachers punish students for infractions such as passing gas, dressing in an unacceptable manner, general disrespect, and swearing.

And shock of all shock, it appears that there’s some pattern emerging here.  ABC reports that “about 62 percent of Meridian’s population is African American, and the Justice Department alleges that mostly African American children and children with disabilities are impacted by the unconstitutional policies.”

Okay, you find me a kid who does not do some of those things in junior high school and I’ll show you a kid with rage issues as an adult.  Good Lord, you are supposed to make social behavior mistakes in junior high school.  That’s what junior high school is for.  That’s why we put them on a campus way out of town by themselves.  They’re weird at that age because they are supposed to be.

Thanks to Iris for the heads up.

Joe the Plumber.  I don’t know about you, but I generally take all my political, economic, and social advice from my plumber.

And, as most of you know by now, Joe the Plumber’s name is not Joe and he’s not a plumber.

He does, however, eat bullets for breakfast so he can shoot off his mouth all day.  Today, he’s salivating and rubbing his hands together at the thought of killing some Mexicans.

At two separate events in recent days, Samuel “Joe the Plumber” Wurzelbacher has proposed to “put a damn fence on the border going to Mexico and start shooting.”

Wurzelbacher first made the remarks during a campaign rally for Arizona Republican state Rep. Lori Klein on Friday, according to video published by Prescott eNews.

“For years I’ve said, you know, put a damn fence on the border, going to Mexico and start shooting,” he insisted.

You know, cause he loves Jesus.

And you remember his friend Lori Klein, the Arizona State Senator who pointed her pink Ruger at a reporter and called it “cute.” No, Honey, my hot pink rhinestone studded sandals are cute.  Your batcrap crazy hands around a Ruger falls directly under the category of Not Cute.

Thanks to Kathleen for the heads up.

Okay, you’re going to think that this is something from The Onion.  It absolutely is not.

There’s a guy named DeWitt R. Thomas, who lives in Big Sandy, Texas.  That’s up in East Texas on the banks of the Sabine River, where crazy grows faster than crabgrass.

Local hero Keith Langston

DeWitt, which has come to be pronounced Dimwit, took his hiney to the Two Rivers Grocery & Market store and purchased himself some groceries, probably sody water and a day’s supply of Mars Bars.

At the grocery store, the sacker, Aaron Menefee,  began to sack DeWitt’s groceries and that’s where the victimization of the white man started.  It was so egregious that it caused  DeWitt to file himself a federal lawsuit.

He stated in a nine-page, hand-written lawsuit that he told the grocery sacker, a black man, “Wait a minute, don’t touch my groceries. I can’t have someone negroidal touch my food. It’s against my creed.”

Yes, DeWitt has a creed other than walking around town dripping crazy.

Aaron Menefee: Scary black man

The checker, a suspicious looking black man named Aaron Menefee, said he thought DeWitt was joking around.  Only in East Texas would calling someone a negroidal be considered funny.  When DeWitt kept repeating it over and over, the checker got outraged and threw him out of the store and Aaron walked to another part of the store.

The store owner, a true gentleman named Keith Langston, told DeWitt that he could not come back into the store.

DeWitt thinks this is religious persecution so he came back anyway right at closing time and when Langston called the police and locked the door until they got there, DeWitt claimed he was being persecuted.

Thomas said his religious beliefs are based on Vedism, which he said encompasses Hinduism.

“Vedism translates into knowledge. I am not this way because I am ignorant. Ignorance is the enemy,” he said.

Thomas said he has not broken any laws and was exercising his religious freedom and the rights he has been given.

“White people are to be protected under the civil rights law just as anyone else,” Thomas said. “It would be the same as if you asked that a congoid (a person from west/central Africa) not touch your food.”

Well, the way I see it, if the owner of the store doesn’t want to do business with an idiotoid, he shouldn’t have to.

Elect me to the Texas Lege and I’ll make that the law.

Thanks to Anna for the heads-up.