Texas doesn’t have enough money to pay teachers, but somehow we found the money to join in the lawsuit of trivializing Bible verses on the damn football field.

The cheerleaders at a Texas high school decided it would be oh so cool to write scriptures completely taken out of context on large sheets of paper for the football team to run through as they come into the stadium.  Because, you know, if you’re going out there to whip up on somebody, best you do it in the name of Jesus Christ.

The football team wants to enter the field by smashing through paper banners with scripture on them, like (seriously, these are the actual scriptures they use) “If God is for us, who can be against us, Romans 8:31.” Or, “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens! Phil 4:13.”

We are going to pay taxpayer money to fight this all the way to the Supreme Court.  Which will cost a fortune because our Attorney General Greg Abbott couldn’t find the courthouse with a map, Tonto, and double geared neon stereo GPS system.  So, we’ll have to hire lawyers who actually listened in law school.  And those guys don’t come cheap.

But, trivializing Jesus is very important in Texas.  We’re willing to pay for it.

Thanks to Sam from Kyle for the heads up.

Binder reviews on Amazon.

Thanks for the heads up to everybody who is way cooler than I am.

The Big Dick is headed the Big Dallas.

Former Vice President Dick Cheney will headline a Dallas fund-raising event for Mitt Romney on Oct. 25, along with the GOP nominee’s son, Josh Romney. The event will be at the Frontiers of Flight Museum at Love Field.

So, if you’re around Dallas, there might be a great disturbance in The Force.   Mitt … I am your father.

I hope while Cheney is in Dallas, God speaks to him through a burning bush.  Preferably George, but Jeb will do.

Thanks to David for the heads up.

Okay, so Mike Huckabee’s wife has some kind of odd hoochy-koochy fetish going on.

“I think women are really on fire for Todd Akin,” Janet Huckabee said. “They’re out there, they’re praying for him, they’re lifting him up in prayer, they’re giving financially.”

On fire?  Oh, probably not.

True story:  After I wrote that, I went looking for a picture of Janet Huckabee to illustrate this story and lookie what I found.

Leather and ropes?  Really?  So maybe she likes that illegitimate rape stuff.  I dunno and I don’t wanna.

Thanks to Kathleen for the heads up.

Louie Gohmert, the crazziest man in Texas – where that title is neither won or taken lightly – has decided that this right here right now is worse than slavery.  You know, stuff that’s happening.  Worse than slavery.  Much worse.

Proudly Crazzzy

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) stated on Tuesday that the legacy of slavery in the United States was a particularly ugly moment in the nation’s history, but that the situation now is even worse.

Speaking on a conference call with far-right pastor Rick Scarborough, Gohmert warned listeners that the nation could be coming “toward the end of [its] existence,” as evidenced by its leaders and citizens allegedly neglecting to remain true to biblical teachings.

Plus, we’re running low on cotton pickers.

To let you know how seriously crazzzy Gohmert is, this is the fourteenth craziest man in Texas.

Thanks to Kathleen and Stephen for the heads up.

Thanks to Carol in Vermont for the heads up.