Scott Walker, that’s who.

Not even a little bit.

Remember how when Jon Stewart was talking with Chris Christi and pointed out that Republicans are against things, like federal aid, until they need them?

It seems that Scott Walker is all against same day registration, unless it’s for his son.

According to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, Matt Walker, a freshman at Marquette University, went to vote in Wauwatosa for the presidential election and registered while at the polls. A witness at the polling place said the governor accompanied his son.

Wisconsin has had same-day registration since 1976. But at a recent speech in California, Walker said he would like to get rid of this law, citing the burden it placed on poll workers.

Don’t miss him at all.  Not even a little.

Thanks to Deb for the heads up.

Texas has a congresscritter named Jeb Hensarling who got himself a case of the Big Britches and thought he could go on television, sit next to Paul Krugman, and not coming out looking that he’d spent the night in the dishwasher.

Ole Jeb believes the sky is falling and we’re going to have to start eating Lisa Lou’s fifth grade class’s goldfish to stay alive.

“There are people who can’t even find jobs in cities who are having to move out, according to press reports, into rural areas to subsistence agriculture. That could be our future.”

Every time Jeb opens his mouth, the Nat Geo gets a new episode of Doomsday Preppers.   For those who haven’t seen this show, it’s a cross between Hoarders and Extreme Couponing with a whole mess of heavy artillery mixed in.

Jeb tells people that every time they vote Democratic they might as well start tilling the ground and finding a cave to squat in.  Jeb seems unnaturally happy about these events.

Well, Dr. Krugman, who has a tad better handle on reality than Ole Jeb, speaks up.

“If you actually look, all that talk we just heard about, you know, deficits and China and Greece, which is all nonsense, but all that talk about how we need to deal with this and ask, what is the Republican Party currently proposing? What have they actually put on the table? They put down some numbers, but what specifics?”

And you wanna know Ole Jeb’s answer to that?   Well, it started out, “I’m rubber and you’re glue,” and then he went and spent the night in the dishwasher.

I know all you people from foreign states are cheering for Texas to secede.  I know that.  But if just our congressional delegation and the entire Bush family would secede, it’d help a whole lot.

Gotta love crazzzzzy East Texas Congressvarmint Louie Gohmert.  Even the earth is trying to shake him loose.

A minor earthquake has occurred near the small East Texas town of Timpson.

The U.S. Geological Survey said on its website that the 2.8-magnitude earthquake struck Friday about 3 miles from Timpson, a town of about 1,000 people located about 70 miles southeast of Tyler.

The group’s website said the earthquake occurred at 1:38 p.m.

I’m tellin’ ya, God has just about had it with this guy.

Thanks to Aggieland Liz (Go Johnny Football!) for the heads up.

Sometimes idiots identify themselves.

Researchers at The Intelligence Institute, a conservative non-profit group, tested 5,000 people came up the certified fact that Fox News viewers have an IQ that is 20 points lower than the U.S. National average.

The national average is IQ is 100.  Fox News viewers have an IQ of 80.

The researchers said that an IQ of 80 is well above the score of 70, which is where psychiatrists diagnose mental retardation. P. Nichols says an IQ of 80 will not limit anyone’s ability to lead happy, fulfilling lives.

Uh, apparently not.  These are not happy, fulfilled people.  In any way, shape or form.  Luckily for them, most of them are not smart enough to know that.  Unlucky for us, they get elected to congress more than average.

The study did not conclude if Fox News contributed to lowering IQ or if it attracts less intelligent humans.

So, the question is this:  Who’s tinkering with whose thinking mechanism?  Chicken.  Egg.  Chicken.  Egg. Chic…  There’s something else to worry about.

You know, this is surprising to me.  I would have bet my pink boots on at least 35 points less.

Thanks to Lisa for the heads up.

The Texas Lege is not a beacon of intelligence or even a cesspool of extra IQ points.

They got all mad at Planned Parenthood and cut funding, including funding for birth control.  Then a strange thing happened.  People started having more babies.

This was not a predictable outcome in the mind of the average Texas Republican, which is kinda surprising considering how much they like to talk about hoochy.  You think maybe at some point all their sex talk would eventually come to the relationship between sex and getting pregnant.  Obviously, not in this century.   On the other hand, we’re just barely into this century.

Republican state Sen. Bob Duell said that the government should not be involved in family planning, “But you have to look at what happens if we don’t.”

My goodness.  He noticed.

But he did have kinda an unfair advantage.  He’s a medical doctor.  We do not know what he did with the money his Momma gave him to go to medical school, but he obviously slept through the human reproduction part because he missed the connection the first time around and voted to defund family planning.

Now it’s gonna be up to Bob to go explain all this to Rick in real delicate terms because Rick might have to back down, too.

A spokesperson for Gov. Rick Perry would not state a firm position either way on the debate, only stating, “Every two years we take a fresh look at our resources and our needs.”

Yep, every election time we decide who to kiss up and who to piss off.

So, the way I see it, you guys have to stop with the hoochy koochy.  It makes babies.  The Republicans don’t like you have sex or babies.  They want you to be all frustrated and mean, like them.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Ole Bubba and I went to see the lights in the Texas Hill Country this weekend.  Marble Falls was shiny.

And the courthouse in Johnson City was merry and bright.

Apparently this War on Christmas thing hasn’t crossed the Red River or maybe even the Mason-Dixon.

Holy cow, you can’t open your eyes in Texas without something twinkling at you.

It’s good to be home.