The GOP is trying to secretly and quietly tell members of it’s Party to stop acting the fool.  And to shut the hell up.

Republicans are worried one thing could screw up the political gift of three Obama administration controversies at once: fellow Republicans.

Top GOP leaders are privately warning members to put a sock in it when it comes to silly calls for impeachment or over-the-top comparisons to Watergate. They want members to focus on months of fact-finding investigations — not rhetorical fury.

Whoa, wait a minute.  That can’t happen because Rhetorical Fury is the only language that Ted Cruz speaks.  He doesn’t speak English worth a damn and he lisps his way through Spanish.  He does speak a little conversational Viciously Confused and he’s brushing up on verb conjugation in Wildly Egocentric, but he’s going to be reduced to crayons and butcher paper if you take away his native languages.

And, with history as our witness, Republicans will overreach with Ted’s help.

Republicans are well aware of their long history of taking their scandal crusades too far, and turning damaged political figures like Bill Clinton into popular victims. Who can forget former Rep. Dan Burton (R-Ind.), then in the Issa role of overseeing the oversight committee, re-enacting the death of Clinton friend Vince Foster in his backyard by shooting a watermelon?

Somebody, anybody, please give Ted Cruz a Marine and an umbrella.  He needs to reenact the latest scandal.

Y’all, this world is getting too confusing.

Last week, I posted a story about Michele Bachmann that turned out to be satire.  I believed the story because it was crazy but then so is Michele Bachmann.

I wasn’t going to let that happen again.

Oh no.  Not me.  I’m not falling for that again.

Y’all, it’s serious.  It’s umbrellagate.

The writer of the story at The Daily Caller says that Marines cannot carry umbrellas.  But, here’s a picture of one holding an umbrella over what the Daily Caller calls “the First Head.”  They weren’t kidding.  The First Head.  Dude, it’s the President of the United Damn States of America.

According to Marine Corps regulation MCO P1020.34F of the Marine Corps Uniform Regulations chapter 3, a male Marine is not allowed to carry an umbrella while in uniform. There is no provision in the Marine Corps uniform regulation guidelines that allows a male Marine to carry an umbrella.

Nevertheless, during a press conference under a light drizzle with Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan this morning, President Obama allowed the First Head to be protected from the elements by an umbrella held by a male Marine corporal.

So what was President Obama supposed to do?  Grab the umbrella out of the Marine’s hand and beat him over the 3,578,341th Head with it?

Hey, at least it wasn’t this!

Now here’s the catcher.  Male Marines cannot hold an umbrella but female Marines can.  Let’s just replace all the male Marines at the White House with females who have enough sense to come in out of the rain.  Problem solved.

And to fight back on Facebook, steal this picture:

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Do you want to avoid putting a dime in the pocket of the Koch Brothers?

There’s an app for that.

Buycott is the app that lets you scan a product and see who makes it.  Better yet …

Even more impressively, you can join user-created campaigns to boycott business practices that violate your principles rather than single companies. One of these campaigns, Demand GMO Labeling, will scan your box of cereal and tell you if it was made by one of the 36 corporations that donated more than $150,000 to oppose the mandatory labeling of genetically modified food.

I downloaded it and can’t wait to take it to the grocery store.  If anybody else is using it, let me know.

Okay, so this is fun.

If you go to our local GOP website, you will see this.  (Click the little one to see the big one.)

I have nicely circled the thing you need to click if this wasn’t a picture.  You have to go  to the actual website to make the link work but I was a afraid they’d take it down once they discover their mistake.

Once you click it, you are taken to a supposedly Hispanic pro-GOP website called GOPisforme.com

And today’s news story there is about Ted Cruz.  And it ain’t nice.

Yep, it says, “Ted Cruz’s actions are poisoning the waters among Hispanics.”

The Hispanic author blasts Cruz for not favoring the Dream Act and for pandering to the far rightwing.  The jest of the article comes in these paragraphs.

Why does Ted Cruz oppose citizenship for those living here illegally, yet support the Cuban Adjustment Act, which grants citizenship to Cubans for the same residency issues? It makes no sense, and his actions are poisoning the waters among Hispanics in Texas which are 80 percent Mexican.

Our Texas Senator should understand the dynamics of his state better. I am saddened to know he thinks so little of the immigrants who came here for a better life, whether they came legally or just crossed the Rio Grande for survival.

So, I suspect we should take it that the Republican Party of Fort Bend County and The Republican Party of Texas  does not support Ted Cruz because they are endorsing opposition opinions.

That kinda makes me happy.

Thanks to Skip for the heads up.

Please let me introduce Dr. Steve Hotze.  He’s a major player in Texas Republican politics.  He’s a nut.  Honey, he wouldn’t be stable even if you mounted him on a tripod.

He is a medical doctor who practices non-traditional therapy for what ails you, mostly medicines you can only buy from him.

Now he’s become a techno rock star.  He has recorded two songs.  God Fearing Texans Stop Obamacare and Texans Stand Against Obamacare for the non believers.

You can also listen to them right here.

You kinda owe it to yourself to hear this because teaspoons caught in the garbage disposal  sound better.  And they also rhyme better, too.

The very best part of it is that Hotze needs laughing at.

Thanks to Joy for the heads up.

It’s in Tennessee.

Kevin Sayre, who is 26 years old, was field stripping his two Glock pistols – because you can’t eat just one – in his apartment and accidentally shot his 13 month old daughter through the chest.

The baby was flown to a children’s hospital and is expected to survive. She is in critical but stable condition. The bullet traveled through the child’s chest and through a recliner before coming to rest in a diaper bag, a neighbor told WSMV.

Kevin Sayre, the new face of the NRA.