Republican men – you can’t love ‘um and you can’t kick ‘um.

Please allow me to introduce Nebraska state Sen. Bill Kintner, a man who calls himself a Christian, and has apparently recently been named Reserve Champion Men You’d Like to Kick, Patronizing Division.

When asked what he would consider his “biggest mystery,” Kintner replied: “Women. No one understands them. They don’t even understand themselves. Books and books and books have been written about it, and no one understands it.”

But, Kintner adds, he does not suffer from the same crippling lack of self-knowledge as the more mysterious half of the population: “Men are very easy to understand. Very basic, very simple,” he said.

Yes, very simple.  Simply needing to be kicked.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

You’ve heard by now that Texas is going to deny health care to 1.5 million Texans.  We are refusing to expand Medicaid using $100 billion in federal funds offered under President Obama’s health care law.

Contrary to popular belief that we are doing this because we would rather have people die on their feet to glorify Kim Il Perry, that is not the sole reason we turned down $100 billion.  The fact is, Republicans can’t fully enjoy their health care unless some poor sucker somewhere is suffering without it.  Allowing everyone to have health care sort of cheapens it.

I came across something the other day that bothers me: arithmetic.  I’m not sure it’s popular any more.

Huffingpost Post headline.

The story says that 54% of the American people don’t like Obamacare and only 43% like it.  So, the majority of Americans must agree with Rick Perry, right?

Go get a pencil.

Of those who oppose it, 16 percent say they disapprove of the law because it is not liberal enough.

Okay, that 16% is me.  Had I been asked that question, I would have said no, too.  I want Medicare for everyone.  Socialize medicine.

So, if I subtract that 16% from the 54% who don’t like Obamacare, I get 38% of people who want government out of health care and 59% who think government should be involved in health care. (Things never add up to 100% in polls for some ungodly reason that only Copernicus understands.)  Last I checked, 59% is a majority.

The bottom line is that Texans will pay for health care for North Dakotans but not for Texans.  I don’t have a problem with that because I’ll chip in for anyone who needs it, but it does kinda seems like Texans can’t do arithmetic.

Michele Bachmann is not going to run for re-election.

Her decision was not based on:

1.  The pending investigation against her for misuse of campaign funds.
2.  Her slow decline into faith based rabid hysteria.
3.  The alignment of Saturn and Mars causing a really pissed-off Zeus.
4.  Her husband impulsively spending their entire life savings on an adorable frock.
5.  She saw how great Sarah Palin looks with Botox and bulimia.

No, siree, she is not going to run again because …

“The law limits anyone from serving as president of the United States for more than eight years,” she said. “And in my opinion, well eight years is also long enough for an ind to serve as a rep for a specific congressional district.”

Yeah, Honey, ‘cuz she is just like the President.

Marshall, Texas, is in northeast Texas and is famous for its pottery.

And Pentecostals.

An East Texas pastor has been sentenced to two years in prison for an online chat from church with an alleged 14-year-old girl who turned out to be a Louisiana trooper.

Raymond Earl Cooper also received 10 years’ probation during his sentencing Wednesday. He’s the former minister for First Church of the Nazarene in Marshall. Cooper pleaded guilty Tuesday to online solicitation of a minor.

Prosecutors say Cooper used a church computer to solicit a person he thought was a girl from Lafayette, La.

A jury gave him 2 years prison time and ten years probation.  They took away his preachin’ license.

I’m not saying that every Pentecostal preacher in East Texas is a pervert.  I am, however, saying that every pervert seems to be a Pentecostal preacher.

Thanks to Michael for the heads up.

In Kansas, GOP lawmakers want unemployment recipients to take drug tests.

Democrats said oh sure, we’ll do that just so long we “require drug tests of businesspeople controlling companies that get economic incentives from the state.”  Republicans, of course, balked. They called it political grandstanding.  Pot, meet kettle.

Then Democrats added themselves and their their fellow lawmakers to the bill.

That’s when the Republican lawmakers stomped their feet.

Look, I am opposed to drug testing politicians.  I favor IQ testing instead.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.

Thanks to Merideth for the heads up.