And The Entire World is Better Off Today

May 29, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Michele Bachmann is not going to run for re-election.

Her decision was not based on:

1.  The pending investigation against her for misuse of campaign funds.
2.  Her slow decline into faith based rabid hysteria.
3.  The alignment of Saturn and Mars causing a really pissed-off Zeus.
4.  Her husband impulsively spending their entire life savings on an adorable frock.
5.  She saw how great Sarah Palin looks with Botox and bulimia.

No, siree, she is not going to run again because

“The law limits anyone from serving as president of the United States for more than eight years,” she said. “And in my opinion, well eight years is also long enough for an ind to serve as a rep for a specific congressional district.”

Yeah, Honey, ‘cuz she is just like the President.

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0 Comments to “And The Entire World is Better Off Today”


  1. This was so darn good for my depression!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I am in glee!!!!!!!!!

    Seriously, though, now she might be able to get the help she needs. Sure!!!!!!!!!!!

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  2. John Peter Henson says:

    6.The Coven did not have a good reading of goat entrails.
    7. She could not get her hair appointment at J.J.W.M.D.B.S. confirmed.
    8.£¥#%<[{}]¥€ (those of you that speak in tongues)

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  3. W C Peterson says:

    Maybe she just learned that she qualifies for full pay retirement and free health care for life, being a Congressperson for eight long years.

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  4. This is good news for the country, but bad news for comic relief.

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  5. UmptyDump says:

    In retirement Michele may continue to be eligible to participate in the Federal Employees Health Benefits Program, which is similar to the Obamacare she so stridently opposes. That may help her in obtaining the mental health care she so desperately needs. Don’t you just love how the ‘baggers stand up for their political principles in their personal lives?

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  6. The last election was very close with only a small number of votes propelling her back into her beloved spotlight. A defeat next year is unthinkable. This is her only way out.

    And yeah, that ethics violation thingie.

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  7. Happy Snoopy Dance!!!!!

    Unfortunately, we’ve seen that retirement from office does not mean retirement from airing opinions.

    Honestly, I just thought she wanted Palin’s spot on Faux News.

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  8. Edith Ann says:

    Well, Sarah Palin did set the bar low for quitters. Glad Michelle decided to get out before she was booted out!

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  9. publius bolonius says:

    I smell a rat. It is most pleasant to contemplate the back of Bachmann, but, I suspect, she will reappear almost immediately on Fox Spews or hate radio. Or maybe she’s up for a slot on the WBC defense team. She’s some kind of a lawyer, right? In any case, she has eight years of really bad Karma to answer for. Her polling must be entirely in the old slop bucket.

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  10. UmptyDump says:

    @W C Peterson – I wrote my mental health comment before seeing yours. I’ll bet there are more than a few of us who’ve thought she’s sick in the head.

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  11. Further proof that she’s never read the Constitution. Amendment XXII, Section 1: “No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice, and no person who has held the office of President, or acted as President, for more than two years of a term to which some other person was elected President shall be elected to the office of the President more than once.” So a VP stepping in to replace a dead president in the final two years of a term could run twice. 8 + 2 = 10, Michele. The law limits anyone from serving more than TEN years. Good riddance.

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  12. UmptyDump says:

    Also meant to acknowledge you as well in my last comment, Maggie.

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  13. daChipster says:

    With enemies multiplying, and threats to his reign popping up across the Empire, Nero thought about fleeing Rome. But in the end he stayed in the palace. He woke up that night, and the guard was gone. He sent messages to all his friends who stayed with him in the palace – all their rooms were empty. The jig was up. He hid out in the suburbs with some servants.

    Word came that the government was after him, the Senate having declared him a public enemy, and he decided to commit suicide before he was dragged back in chains to be flogged to death.

    According to one source, he stood there with the sword to his breast, whimpering. His aide, impatient to finish the job, shoved the blade in.

    I see Michele, rather than face the wrath of the mob, political rivals, the government, or her aides willing to slip the blade in, chose instead to flee.

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  14. maryelle says:

    Ding Dong the Witch is Dead. I’ll be humming this tune all day.

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  15. Too bad she will not pull a palin and QUIT now that she will be a lame duck.

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  16. daChipster says:

    Diane, she was always lame. But, apropos of Minnesota, a lame loon, not a duck. She and Marcus can relax now, she to stop praying away the grey, he to stop praying away “teh gay!”

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  17. Lorraine in Spring says:

    Well, there is one other teeny, tiny, little reason why Michelle wouldn’t want to run again……maybe Marcus wants to come out to party & Michelle’s losing her power over him.

    Of course, I’m just speculating. Or dreaming.

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  18. Hey! Might she head for Switzerland? She did try to become a citizen there in recent years. Remember?

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  19. MCPO Ret says:

    Be very carefull when travelling to her district in Minn. after she leaves office.
    There will be Sven and Gert zombies wandering around aimlessly looking for Godly guidence.

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  20. “Bachmann stressed she had no plans to fade from public view.”

    Reminds me of someone who said that Abbie Hoffman would go on Let’s Make a Deal dressed as a pizza if it would get him attention…..

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  21. daChipster says:

    Ole and Sven vere down to da pond by da barn svimmin’ vit dere frien’ Marcus. Ven dey come outta da vater, Marcus, he’s pretty excited, ya know, an’ can’t pull up his overalls. So Sven says, “Vatcha gotta do dere, Marcus, is pray dot t’ing avay.” So Marcus, he prayed mighty hard. An’ mighty hard, he stayed dot vay.

    Den Ole says, “Nah, vatcha gotta do is go in da barn dere, and getcha a shovel full a manure, and pack it aron’ dere. Den it’ll go down.”

    So off Marcus goes inta da barn.

    Den Michele come by and says “Vere’s Marcus?” Ole and Sven just point to da barn. So she goes inta da barn and sees vot Marcus is doin’. “Uff da!” she shouts. “Don’t put dat dere, put it HERE.” She pulled up her dress an’ pointed.

    Vich is vy, ta dis day, Michele is fulla manure.

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  22. daChipster … you absolutely crack me up!

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  23. daChipster says:

    One more tirade, then I’m done with her:

    I think that Bachmann’s Presidential run in 2012 was a huge factor in her impending retirement, not merely because of her legal woes, but because she was, like Sarah Palin before her, exposed to the harsh merciless glare of the klieg lights of a Presidential campaign, and her complete and utter cluelessness was exposed to the world. Within the cocoon of a safe district, (or a sparsely populated backwater like Alaska) you can go on about your business safe from scrutiny by any but those of us for whom politics is a daily rush.

    But, and this is a caution I threw to ALL my political clients, back when I had some, don’t fool yourself into thinking that the average voter has a tenth of the interest and a hundredth of the knowledge as those of us inside the game. It’s not a cut; they just choose to care about other things than we do.

    But when you get all Presidential, THEN folks pay attention.

    Add to that the ever-present cameras and recorders on the trail of a Presidential campaign, and suddenly your confidential remarks (read: “pandering”) to the Belles of Heaven Republican Women’s Organization are suddenly fodder from Hardball to the Daily Show, and you’re stuck either denying, or defending them, or somehow, if you’re Mitt Romney, both.

    It’s the Peter Principle of Presidential Politics. You’ve risen beyond your level of incomeptence, and now everyone knows. Or, as the Sicilians say, the higher the ape climbs, the more he shows his bald, bare butt.

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  24. I live in Bachmann’s district and this morning I did a little dance of glee and sang “ding-dong the witch is dead.”

    But this district was gerrymandered specifically designed to elect a Repug. Now with Shelly gone, the MN GOP can just have a “normal” republican candidate run and we’ll have to work twice as hard to elect the democrat, Jim Graves. All without the National interest (and $$$) that a Bachmann race would have…

    I just really hope Bachmann’s disciples vote for a true wackobird in the primary.

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  25. daChipster, I luv yew!

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  26. Aggieland liz says:

    Glad to see ya Chip! All of that were fun!

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  27. James Carville had this to say today:

    “God closes one door for Michele Bachmann and opens three to Louie Gohmert.

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  28. Ya know, from another Minnesotan, the world is exactly the same after because all the comic relief aside, Michele never made a nickel’s worth of difference. Crazy is not a legacy builder.

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  29. Love this quote but lost the author’s name…
    “My grandmother was illiterate. She was cossetted in an impregnable ignorance that made her confident in her judgment and unassailable in her opinions. She died years ago, but I fear she has returned . . . as Michele Bachmann.”

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  30. John in Lafayette says:

    She’s also wrong about the law. The constitution limits people to ten years as president, not eight. From the 22nd amendment:

    “No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice, and no person who has held the office of President, or acted as President, for more than two years of a term to which some other person was elected President shall be elected to the office of President more than once.”

    So if you’re VP you can serve the final two years of the previous president’s term plus two more full terms of your own.

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  31. Lyntilla says:

    @ W C Peterson

    Sorry, that’s a myth. I’m not saying that people who serve in Congress don’t get good benefits, they absolutely do, but it’s not 100% or full pay on retirement and they don’t get free health care for life either. They get a pension which is figured on their years of service but is mandated to be less than 80% of their salary. With 8 years of service she becomes eligible at 62 for that pension although she vested at 5 years of service. As far as healthcare they are eligible to keep their same coverage at the same rates (which I’m sure are good) but according to the sources I looked at, they pay 27% of the premium plus co-pays, etc. As of 2014 they have to go to the insurance exchanges thanks to ACA (Obamacare).

    http://usgovinfo.about.com/od/uscongress/a/congresspay.htm

    http://www.philly.com/philly/news/politics/congressional/Factcheck_Congress_exempt_from_Obamacare.html

    http://www.snopes.com/politics/socialsecurity/pensions.asp

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